Nudge The Nest & Pray They Fly
Not a great vlog, but alas… I give the people what they ask for. Even if my hair and face look heinous.
That’s the trailer for Lost in Living, the documentary I talk about in my vlog. LIL is not as boring as my vlog. I promise. Like Lost in Living on Facebook for more information!
One of my very favorite internet turned real life friends, Anne Riley, has a new book out and I am PUMPED about it. I’ve read a good bit of her past work and love her. Love her. LOVE HER!!!
She’s giving a way a copy of “Shadows of the Hidden” here AND giving you a sneak peek of the book! SUH-WEET! My friends are awesome– especially the ones I met online!
Here a summary of the book:
Natalie Watson doesn’t believe her parents are dead, even though they
disappeared five years ago. Discovering the truth about their fate is
one of the only things that get her out of bed in the morning. But
after moving from her home in Georgia to her aunt’s boarding school in
Maine, solving the mystery of her parents’ whereabouts is just one of
several challenges she must face. When she’s not fending off attacks
from the popular kids, she puzzles over the rumors about a strange boy
in her math class–one with fiery red hair who rarely speaks.
Despite suspicions that he murdered his sister a year earlier, Natalie
finds it impossible to stay away from Liam Abernathy–especially when
he confesses to knowing something about her parents. Soon she’s
following him into the forest, where things happen she doesn’t
understand…things that shouldn’t be possible.
Natalie soon realizes her connection to Liam is deeper than she ever
imagined, and not everyone she counts as a friend can be trusted. When
she finds herself at the center of a centuries-old quest for
immortality, she must work with Liam to stay alive–even if it means
facing a truth about herself and her family that will not only shake
her perception of herself, but of the entire world around her.
Want to read more? A lil’ sumthin sumthin cuz Anne loves me and by default you? Alrighty! Here’s an excerpt:
“Let’s go up here,” Liam whispers.
We walk up a hill, close enough that his arm grazes mine every so
often. The scuffling of our feet on the ground and the sound of my own
breathing anchor me to sanity—what little I feel like I have left,
anyway. When we reach the top of the hill, we have a better view of
the little knot of dwellings. It’s hard to see much detail in the
dark, even with the help of the moonlight, but I can make out
buildings and a few roads. A gust of wind hits us in the back and I
shiver. In the absence of the clearing’s mild climate, a chill begins
to creep back into my bones. The icy breeze whips my hair into my face
and tickles the back of my neck as goosebumps rise up all over my
flesh.
Liam is a statue next to me. His angular features are like stone as he
surveys the village at the bottom of the hill.
“What is this place?” I ask under my breath.
“Ag Tosú.”
“What is that?”
Liam’s expression darkens. “It’s a colony you’ll never learn about in
history class, that’s for sure.” His eyes shift back to me, and I
catch just a flash of something—fury? determination?—I can’t be sure.
“This is where I grew up,” he goes on. “It’s my home, flawed as it may
be.”
Enter the Rafflecopter giveaway for a chance to win!
Y’all. I just don’t know that I can do this moment justice. Dammit. I am already crying. My book is here and even though I’ve been working towards this day for almost three years, it doesn’t still seem real.
I had my first signing last night at the best indie bookstore on the planet, TurnRow Books. My peeps filled that joint up and for an hour and a half I signed book after book after book. And every single time, I was in awe. I was amazed that they cared enough to come, to spend their hard earned dollars on my words. I can’t even wrap my mind around it.
Last night was more than I ever thought it could be AND I didn’t fall down, cry, spell my name wrong OR cuss in front of the children. (I did have to lightly sensor myself to prevent that last one.) But to get to read my words… to HEAR laughter instead of just hoping for it when my columns are read and blog posts are read… well, it was sort of addictive. I’m ready to do it again.
Me and my friend Kathryn. I mostly just wanted y’all to see how amazing my hair looked.
THEN today, one of my most favorite writers EVER in the history of the world, Laurie Notaro, gave me a little Idiot Girl Shout Out on her Facebook page. My fellow IGs went bananas and started buying up Kindle copies of the book and pushed my book all the way up to #8 on the Kindle Best-Seller List for Parenting/Humor. And Ketchup was #22 on the Humor/Essay category right there with Chelsea Handler, David Sedaris and Mindy Kaling. I still can’t believe it.
I don’t even know what to say other than thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. From the bottom of my heart– thank you. If you want to check for signings click on the Events tab, I’ll be updating regularly. To order copies, click on the picture in the sidebar or go to TurnRow to order signed copies. You can even get them personalized. I’m going up there to sign books every few days so that they can get them shipped out to you in time for Christmas!
OH! And also, I made TurnRow’s November Bestseller list. I took a picture of it in their bathroom.
BOOM!
1) Your due date is totally irrelevant. The last month before you deliver/publish is the L-O-N-G-E-S-T of your life.
2) You never know when you will get to sleep through the night or when you will be up all night tending to your baby.
3) You think life is hard when you’re pregnant. Then you have that baby and you are like, “Crap. PUT IT BACK! It was so much easier to take care of before it was out in the world!”
4) You are super proud of your baby and possibly unable to judge how rotten she is… because she’s yours. This is why you need other people. It takes a village. You need your Momma to tell you to quit holding her all the time and to remind you who you were BEFORE you had this kid. And you need your beta readers, agents and editors to tell you to QUIT WITH THE CAPSLOCK ALREADY, and to help you to learn to let go of the parts that weren’t good enough anyway.
5) Then at that moment… right before you push your baby into the world, you panic, “What was I thinking? How the hell am I supposed to know how to do this? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING!” That’s when all those people: your Momma, betas, agents and editors will rally around you and scream, text, and tweet you to tell you to, “PUUUUUUUUSHH!
6) It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. It’s cover is shiny and flawless and your heart will ache when you look at it because you remember what it took to bring this life into the world. And you know without a doubt that your book will die without it’s mother tending to it. You take one more moment to gaze lovingly onto your exquisitely perfect cover before you get back to work.
They are so sweet when they’re sleeping.
7) You crack open your ARC for one last read through and whaddaya know? Typo’s AND poop happen. (See what I did there. I made ‘typo’ A typo. Stay with me.)
Something is stank up in here.
8 ) Once you’ve birthed that book baby, you don’t want to let it out of your sight. You want to cuddle, snuggle, and take it everywhere you go.
9) But you still want it to experience the world.
10) You’ll want to expose it to all sorts of new things while still protecting it from anything bad– like bullies and people who are power trippin’ on Goodreads’ and Amazon reviews.
Safety first.
11) Right before you start selling it to strangers. WAIT… that’s not the same.
Pre-order the Kindle edition of “Ketchup is a Vegetable” HERE, or order the paperback HERE! Or order a signed and personalized edition from my local indie store HERE! I sign, they ship! Yay TEAMWORK!
Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me to keep this a secret?? I mean, I am amazing with secrets about real-life-super-important stuff but THIS. Is. Too. Much. I have wanted to just blab it and blab it and blab it.
But I haven’t.
I have waited.
I have been patient. And now I get to tell you. But first, I need a few more lines of text so that all you people on Facebook can’t CHEAT and just read the first few lines and see the title. Nope. I’m gonna make you click a link. Don’t be lazy. It’s just one click for crying out loud.
That should do it.
DRUMROLL PLEASE… (BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I don’t know how to type how a drumroll sounds. Obvs.)
Ketchup Is A Vegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves
BOOM! Fireworks! YAAAAAAAY! Who’s excited?! THIS GIRL!
If you read the blog or my columns, you can expect more stories about motherhood, my family and a little about faith– but also, y’all– I talk about lady bits A LOT. It’s sort of Robin Gone WILD and it’s less censored than anything else I’ve ever published either online or in print.
Which may explain why I have been stress eating chocolate and breathing into a brown paper bag seven to twelve times a day– it’s more me. I was trying to explain to Rachel Hawkins, a writer friend who had been there, done that, how I felt and she said, “Yes! You feel like you are about to be IN YOUR PANTIES ON THE INTERNETS!” And I was like, “Yes! THAT exactly!”
Because I am going to be naked in front of y’all. (Lord, I can’t wait to see the spammers I get out of this post.) I’m showing you more of who I am, exposing more of my weaknesses and making a lot of jokes about genitals. Hey– you have kids and you have to talk about body parts a lot. Like a lot, a lot. (A lot. Prepare yourselves.)
I’m excited and I’m scared and that’s the truth. I was telling Zeb how I felt and he said, “Well, just remember– I’ve seen you naked before and I like it a lot.”
The book is funny so unlike if you were to ever ACTUALLY see me nekkid? Pointing and laughing is highly recommended.
Release date is scheduled for November 12, 2011. Check back for more updates.
Y’all, I am so sorry I’ve been a blogging slacker lately. I’ve been so busy trying to keep up with my kids, polish my manuscript to have it ready for publication, working on a couple of freelance assignments I’m REALLY excited about and just, you know, living and whatnot that I totally dropped the blog ball. (Go ahead and laugh. You know I am.)
In the midst of all this, I was packing my entire family. Zeb and I dropped the kids off at my mom’s for the weekend so I could come to my first EVER writer’s conference in my favorite place on the planet, Auburn. And I don’t mean that in a stupid football fan girl kind of way.
Fun fact: (This is my sarcasm font.) The bell tower at Hargis Hall was on fire when we rolled into town last night.
Almost every major event that has happened in my life has happened in Auburn: it was where I found God on my own after my parent’s divorce (Or He found me. You pick, I don’t care. The result is the same.) It’s where I lived when I met my husband. It’s where we moved to go back to college after taking two years off to do mission work and figure out who we wanted to be. It’s where I had my first real job and bought my first real house and where I had my first real baby. (Not that there is another kind, but I was on a roll.) It’s the place I’ve lived the longest as an adult. (Five years is our record. Everywhere else has averaged about two.)
After the house I spent my childhood in burned to the ground, I’ve always thought of Auburn as home. To be here on the eve of my first book being published? Well, it’s nothing short of poetic.
I was also excited about this weekend because I finally got to meet some friends and writers who have been crucial to my writing journey. People who I’ve only talked to via Twitter and FB but who have been some of my biggest cheerleaders.
I’ve had a great time connecting with writers like Rachel Hawkins.
Jodi, me and Rachel Hawkins. (Who isn’t, in fact, a fictional character.)
BUY HER BOOKS THEY ARE FUNNY & EXCITING AND WE LOVE HER!)
Our cyber friendship was sealed forever when she used this picture in her slideshow presentation about social media. (If you don’t get this you are probably in the wrong place.)
Jesse Spano, “I’m SO excited! I’m so excited…. I’m so scared.”
But my social ineptitude knows no bounds and I can make even the most casual encounter a horror to be recalled for centuries. Take, FOR EXAMPLE, when I introduced myself to NYT’s Bestselling Author, Joshilyn Jackson, after her AMAZING and stirring Q & A session.
If you’re not a writer you may not know but, y’all- it is HARD and lonely. There is no idle chit-chat, nobody a cubicle over doing the same thing you are doing, and possibly, not even anyone in your ZIP code who understands what this process is like.
So to hear Joshilyn speak, to hear her be so encouraging and to explain this journey as “The Long Con,” and how you HAVE to just do the work. You have to just write. To trust yourself. To trust that your muse isn’t going to run out of stories to tell… (God, I wish I had the whole thing recorded.) It was amazing and beyond encouraging.
(Side bar: I am a crier. I cry about EVERYTHING. This is not an exaggeration. Happy tears. Sad tears. Tears of laughter. Any emotion other than “I must now unload the dishwasher,” ellicts tears. And if I’m going to be totally honest, sometimes even that.)
After the session Joshilyn made the enormous mistake of making eye contact with me. She should have gone to Rachel Hawkins’ first session. She would have learned, “Thou shalt not engage the crazy.” I introduced myself and (I am so sorry to the mutual friends/colleagues whose names I mentioned in my intro.) Then, THEN I went on to try to tell her how much it meant to me to hear her story and I started sobbing. Not just one or two tears sliding down my cheek that could be patted away with the back of my hand.
Real tears, streaming down my face a la Tammy Faye Baker with less mascara. (But not by much.)
I was sniffling. There may have been a few hiccups.
I. Was. Mortified. Then I made my next mistake: I acknowledged how cray-cray I was acting.
“Oh my God. I am so sorry. I am such a jackass,” I cried.
“It’s okay! You’re okay!” She assured me.
“No! This is so awkward for you. I’m so sorry.”
“You are alright!! Don’t worry about it.”
She hugged me and patted my back.
She had to HUG ME and PAT MY BACK.
The girls sitting in front of me tried not to make eye contact as they filed out. I couldn’t blame them.
I finally sort of got myself together and went to find my friend, Jodi and told her what I did.
The rest of the day went fine and during cocktail hour I even made myself approach her again to prove to her (and myself) that I was capable of talking without snot bubbles.
The girls that sat in front of me in the workshop ended up at the table with me and Jodi at lunch and we invited our new friends, Kristin & Allie to dinner to meet another one of my cyber besties (WHAT UP HOLLY!?)
During dinner I was telling Holly what an idiot I was and Allie said, “Oh don’t feel bad! It was so endearing! We all know how you feel! I sent Kristin a text and said, ‘Hey, let’s invite the girl that was crying to lunch.'”
For. The. Love. Y’all.
I am “The Girl That Was Crying.” WAAAAH!
Good news: I bet none of them ever forget me.
Bad news: I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
Please go by Joshilyn Jackson’s books, as she may need the money to pay for therapy after being ambushed by an overly emotional socially awkward mother who doesn’t get out much.
So you know how every once in awhile y’all are like, “Hey Robin, WHERE is your book? When is it coming out?” And I’m like, “Dude. This is the slowest process EVER…”
Well, with the blessing and support of uber-agent Jenny Bent, I’ve started the process of self-publishing my first book.
And now you’re like, “But ROBIN, you have an AGENT… WHY are you self-publishing?”
Because we love it! Jenny and I have a master plan that we’ve developed to ensure my long term career success. There are a lot of exciting things going on in the world of publishing. Some people think real books will soon be a thing of the past. Some people think self-publishing is the wave of the future and ebooks are going to rule the world. We want to offer my readers a little bit of everything.
My brother sent me this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, “The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.”
For the longest time when someone asked me, “What do you do?”
I responded with, “I, um, I’m a writer?” As though I needed their permission to be what God has called me to be.
I don’t have that problem any more. I know where I’m going and what I’m supposed to do. I am a writer.
I am a writer.
I write books and I’m ready to share one with the universe.
This book I’m about to birth into the world has been a work in progress for two and a half years. I started writing it right after Sadie was born. (Not really the best time to write a book in case you were wondering.) Right now I am working on the cover design concept and I’ve sent the manuscript to my copy editor to make sure it is perfectly polished. I plan on turning out a high-quality book. I didn’t write this over a long weekend. TWO YEARS and SIX MONTHS, I want it to be perfect.
Jenny signed me based on this manuscript then helped me to transform it. We cut about half of the material immediately and started over. (That was a real gut check.) She helped me to find my voice and focus on my strengths. I have cried tears over this book. Jenny has sent me edits and told me when I wasn’t funny. She told me to, “Show more and tell less,” and after I was like, “WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?” I cried and said, “NO, I CAN’T.”
But I did. I rewrote. I revised and now I’m ready to introduce you to my fourth child. You will have a taste of Robin’s Chicks to tide you over until my second book is finished and on shelves!
Tell your friends! It’s coming!!
And come play with me on Facebook, I’m told I’m highly entertaining. You would be too if your two-year-old was shaving her own legs and your five-year-old was sneaking an iPhone into kindergarten so she could play Angry Birds at nap time.
Photo credit. Her etsy shop is so cute!
