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A Few of My Favorite Things

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This week some of my friend’s helped me celebrate Ketchup is Vegetable’s first birthday by donating their products for giveaways on my Facebook page. If you are looking to do some holiday shopping and want to support small businesses and artists based out of the good ol US of A, I HIGHLY recommend all of these items!

Bethany from Loopholes donated two of her super cute (and VERY affordable) necklaces. Folks were all but throwing elbows to win!

Jewelry made by my friend Ellie of One Crafty Mother (blog), her Etsy shop, Shining Stones is full of beautiful and inspirational handmade jewelry. Not only is Ellie an amazing writer and artist but she works tirelessly in the recovery community helping women all over the country who are recovering from addiction. You can find her brand-spanking new podcast HERE!

I met Karen from Playful Planet at Creative Alliance ’12 in Ojai, CA this year. When she described one of her products, a DVD called Storyland Yoga— I flipped out. I’ve become obsessed with yoga over the last few months and anytime I was practicing at home, Emma and Sadie wanted to join in. Obviously they needed to be centered on my mat, underneath me to do so. Storyland Yoga is an interactive DVD for kids which combines story-telling and movement to keep your kids totally engaged. It’s a genius idea! Me and my girls are hoping for more DVDs!

My friend Amber is just finding her feet in the blogosphere but she has one of the few blogs that I read religiously. The Unconventional Doctor’s Wife is witty, warm and insightful. Amber’s honesty and creativity inspire me. As do these ADORABLE stamped leather bracelets she is making…

B, my sister, started calling me earlier this year and reading passages from Lela Davidson’s first book, “Blacklisted from the PTA.” I knew I was going to love her immediately. I bought her book, started following her blog and was able to meet her at BlogHer this year and confirm what I already knew to be true. She is amazing. Her second book, “Who Peed on my Yoga Mat?” was just realized and I loved it. Loved. It.

Miki McCurdy is one of my favorite people on the planet. I’m trying not to use the word amazing again, but I don’t know how else to describe her work. I met Miki after seeing countless family photo shoots she had done around Greenwood. The thing that stood out to m the most was that in one picture, Miki could totally capture the spirit of a child. That sounds almost ridiculous but if you like her Facebook page you can flip through her work and see what I mean. I don’t know how she makes her colors pop like that or how on a Sunday afternoon she was able to: shoot the cover of Ketchup in my kitchen, take new head shots for me, and get all five members of my family to look at the camera and not just “cheese” but be themselves. And her paintings…

I can’t even… words fail me.

Her use of color– amazing. (I couldn’t help myself.)

And of course, my bloggy Sister Wife, Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, whose holiday humor book “Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat,” is TEARING up the Amazon bestsellers’ list right now. (Because it’s really, really funny.)

I can’t say enough how grateful I am to all of you for reading, telling your friends about the blog and my books, leaving comments and sharing your stories (which makes me feel less crazy)… for all of it. Because of YOU my dreams have come true. I wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl reading Judy Blume and The Babysitter’s Club but I never thought it would happen. So thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I’m going to make available the option to order signed books directly from me in the next few days– stay tuned!

 

People I Want To Punch In The Throat- Book Giveaway

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If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook then you have already heard me raving about my friend Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat and her new book, “Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat.” I haven’t really shut up about it since she sent it to me a couple of months ago because it’s freaking hilarious.

Jen’s blog went viral with her Elf on a Shelf post last year, which you’ve prolly already read because I think about five different people emailed it to me in 24 hours–it’s that good.

I started cyberstalking Jen earlier this year and after she figured out how to respond to my DMs on Twitter, we started chatting online. We met up at BlogHer in NYC this year and I was a little nervous about meeting her because girlfriend is FIERCE on the internets. But I had nothing to worry about. I knew when I saw, “Like Erma Bombeck but with F-bombs” on her business card that we were meant to be Bloggy Sister Wives. Jen is awesome and gracious, a spit-fire and hysterically funny– just like I like my bloggy friends.

And she let me punch her in the throat in the Aiming Low photo booth…

Aside from her famous Elf on a Shelf essay which is in this book, my favorite chapter is You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze where Jen writes about cookie swaps. I had tears running down my cheeks by the time I finished it.

Jen sent me a copy of “Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat” to giveaway but I’ve been holding on to it because all my Facebook peeps are filled with a fiery, red-hot rage when Target gets out the Christmas decorations the day after Halloween. Out of respect for Thanksgiving (and my crazy Christmas loving people) I waited until today to giveaway the signed copy Jen sent me!

Want it to be yours? Leave a comment on this blog post to tell me and Jen who you want to Punch in the Throat at Christmas! 

(Contest entries end at midnight Dec 1. Winner announced Dec 2– US addresses only!)

Follow Jen on Facebook & Twitter! Buy her book HERE!

And don’t forget that today is Ketchup’s first birthday! To celebrate the e-book of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves is only $0.99 until midnight! (11/30/12) 

WINNER IS MARLENA RUIZ!

 

 

 

 

Ketchup is a Vegetable On Sale for $0.99

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This time last year I was just about to squeeze out my book baby and I was feeling the labor pains! To celebrate a great year of dominating the Amazon charts, and getting to live my dream I’ve been throwing Ketchup a birthday party on my Facebook Author page all week.

I’ll be giving away two signed copies of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves Monday (11/26) through Friday (11/30) as well as some great gifts donated by friends. Handmade jewelry, paintings and books by some hilarious writer friends!

There’s still some great stuff going on over there. But don’t forget to head to Amazon before midnight! Ketchup is on sale for $0.99 for 24 hours only!

Make sure you “like” my author page so you don’t miss anything! 

Happy Child’s Day– Said No One Ever

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Yesterday on the way home from school my eight-year-old, Aubrey said from the backseat, “Momma, I made you an early birthday present at school today.”

My birthday isn’t for another month.
Me: Thanks baby! What is it?
She passed me a card she made that actually said, “To Momma, From Your Eldest.” I’m not kidding when I say I am raising Anne of Green Gables over here.

What other eight-year-old do you know that uses “killjoy” casually in conversation??

I glanced at the card before passing it back to her to read out loud to since I was driving and she had written her poem in yellow highlighter. Aubrey read and while I gushed about how much I loved it, my six-year-old, Emma started sucking up.

Emma: Momma when we get home I’m going to make you a really, REALLY awesome card. Just like I did for Mother’s Day, and kind of like the one I made for Daddy for Father’s Day but BETTER…

Emma got quiet for a second then said, “HEY! How come there is a Mother’s Day AND a Father’s Day but there’s no such thing as Child’s Day!?”

Insert maniacal laughter from the front seat.

Me: Because EVERY day is Child’s Day.

Don’t forget to hop over to my FB page, I’m giving away 2 copies of Ketchup is a Vegetable today through Friday (11/30) & have lots of other giveaways as well!

Happy Birthday to Ketchup! (Lots-O-Giveaways!)

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This time last year I was just about to squeeze out my book baby and I was feeling the labor pains! To celebrate a great year of dominating the Amazon charts, and getting to live my dream I’m throwing Ketchup a birthday party on my Facebook Author page!

I’ll be giving away two signed copies of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves Monday (11/26) through Friday (11/30) as well as some great gifts donated by friends. Handmade jewelry, paintings and books by some hilarious writer friends!

Then on Friday, Ketchup’s actual birthday, I’m marking the price of the e-book down from $5.99 to $0.99 for 24 hours only!

Make sure you “like” my author page so you don’t miss anything! 

Confucius Says: Would Your 8-year-old Like a Job?

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Sometimes I am certain my children are smarter than I am. On occasion, the words that come out of their mouths leave me wondering when we ate Chinese last and if they are stockpiling fortune cookie messages. Last Friday, I picked Aubrey, Emma and a friend up from school and as we made our way across town to get Sadie the conversation turned to boys.

“They are so annoying!” Their friend said.

“Boys are annoying at your age… and in middle school… and in high school. Really forever, I was going to stop at college or when you get married but actually? They’re always annoying.” I said. The girls exploded in giggles.

Aubrey piped up from the backseat, “Cats are just like girls.”

“How?” I asked.

“They never want to be touched. They just want to be left alone,” she said.

Her friend agreed, “Yeah and dogs are like boys… they ALWAYS want to be touched and they always bother you and won’t leave you alone.”

We howled with laughter as they gave me the run down of the day’s playground drama. Aubrey mentioned that someone at school had been trying to boss her little sister around on the playground, “She is PUSHING it with Emma. I’m not going to let her be mean to her.” I smiled, thankful that my girls have each other.

On Saturday Aubrey and I got to spend a little time alone getting ready for her small birthday party. (Her actual birthday was in August. I’ve outdone even myself by postponing her party for almost four months. We’ve been busy.) Aubrey ran errands with me and she brought up the playground incident again.

“You know,” she said thoughtfully, “bullies are like cooking marshmallows on the fire. They are all black and gross on the outside but on the inside they are gooey and sweet. They are just sad.”

“You are totally right, most of the time when somebody is being ugly to you it’s because they are sad about something. How’d you get so smart?”

She smiled, “You told me that last year, remember?”

“I remember talking about bullies but not marshmallows.”

“Oh, well… that was just an illustration,” Aubrey explained.

I smiled at the wisdom of my eight-year-old and wondered if she could get a part time job writing the fortunes for fortune cookies.

Confucius says, “Make S’mores out of your enemies.”

A Thanksgiving Memory That Will Never Fade

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As per my usual bloggy Thanksgiving tradition I am sharing the one story my grandmother would probably never want me to share… Enjoy the awkwardness and may your turkey induced coma be long and uninterrupted!

The smell of poultry seasoning transports me back to my Momma’s Alabama kitchen in November of 1998 faster than Michael J. Fox in a Delorean. Every Thanksgiving, as soon as I open the canister of spices — it’s as though I’m standing there, watching the scene unfold before me…

My mother slid the cornbread dressing into the oven as my younger sister and I chopped vegetables and stirred pots. The turkey was almost done and the smell of roasting meat filled the house with its rich scent. The sounds of football and male conversation drifted in from the den as my Grandaddy, brother, husband and uncle attempted to stay out of the way.

My petite and proper, Southern Baptist grandmother, Dot, was dressed in her Sunday finest and chatting with us as we prepared our Thanksgiving feast. Her white hair was permed and perfectly coifed. Her red size five pumps were the exact shade of her lipstick, her knock-off Chanel suit, red clip-on earrings.

I took a moment to pause, mentally, and appreciate the beauty of what we were sharing. Three generations of women, gathered around the stove and giving thanks for all the blessings we enjoyed. Cooking recipes that had been tweaked and handed down through my family for generations — what a gift!

I became teary as I realized that my grandparents were getting older and that one day, all too soon — this crystal clear moment would fade to a hazy memory.

The channel changed in the next room and now instead of hearing Sportscenter, we began overhearing news reporters discussing President Bill Clinton’s recently discovered indiscretion.

“Mmm, it’s just shameful,” Momma said as she stirred the gravy.

My sister and I nodded in agreement as my grandmother said in her very Southern drawl, “I just cain’t believe he had oral sex in the Oval Office. What is this world coming to?”

I made eye contact with my sister right before I almost lost consciousness from the shock. But I was now certain that this particular Thanksgiving would never fade into the recesses of my mind and for that, I was thankful.

PSA: Be sure to like my author page by clicking on the Facebook box in the top right hand corner of this page. To celebrate Ketchup’s first birthday, I’m going to be giving away 10 signed copies next week AND a signed copy of my friend Jen’s book Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat!