For one week ONLY! Buy Ketchup is a Vegetable & Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves on your Nook or Kindle for only $0.99!
Buy it! Tell your friends!
Having a Bad Parenting Day? Well, it Could Always be Worse
Yesterday, one of my best friends in the world sent me a series of text messages that brought me to my knees. I was doubled over in my kitchen, with tears streaming down my face from laughter. I’m pretty sure she was crying too, only she wasn’t laughing.
You know how sometimes you think you are having a bad day, then you talk to somebody else who is having a REALLY bad day and you are all, “Thank you JESUS for my life just like it is!!”
That.
Not for the weak of stomach.
Here’s Lori’s story as it unfolded via text…
Lori: Um hypothetical possible emergency… Have any of your girls ever eaten their own S***? Not a lot, just a little? Did u call poison control? Asking for a friend…
Me: LOL. No and No.
Lori:
Me: You are welcome and wth?
Lori: I’m overstimulated with motherhood right now. L (her 4yo son) called me into the bathroom to tell me, “You know how I always wanted to know what poopoo tastes wike?”
I said, “No.”
He said, “Well I ate just a wittle one.”
I was trying not to hyperventilate in front of him.
I said, “Well I bet it tasted pretty bad so don’t ever do that again. You could get really sick.”
He said, “It was pretty NOT bad.”
I started texting B (her husband who is a pharmacist.) and while I did that L started putting on my makeup. B says if it was someone else’s S*** it would be a bigger deal. I just keep hearing the saying, “Eat S*** and die,” in my head but he looks ok so far. Now we have to leave for his hip hop class. I need a xanax.
Me: OMG. I’m forwarding all of this to Blair. (My sister. Strictly for entertainment purposes. I’m a really good friend.)
Lori: Somehow I knew you would. I thought for sure Emma would have eaten a turd.
Me: Lol!
Lori: Beeteedubs that little monster won’t eat my spaghetti but his S*** is “pretty not bad”?!?!
Me: CRYING!
Lori: Ditto. For different reasons.
Me: Perchance, did you have relations with Bear Grylls roughly 5 years ago?
Lori: WTH? I’m pretty sure I didn’t.
Me: Cuz he’s the only person on the planet I can think of who drinks his own pee and eats elephant turds.
Lori: Well… He seems successful.
Me: I think I just herniated an ovary.
Lori: Now he’s in his hip hop dance class. I’m in the lobby watching them practice on the TV. If they had a show called, “So You Think Your Ginger Can Dance,” no one would win.
Me: Lol. You should hit an open mic night on your way home.
Lori blogs over at Loripalooza and I’ve posted this story with her blessing. I’ve left out her son’s name in the hopes that one day, when he gets his first computer and Googles himself, this won’t pop up.
Got any good “It Could Be Worse” stories??
For My Friend Courtney
This is a guest post by one of my besties, Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat. Courtney is one of our blogging buddies. I was going to write a similar post, then I read Jen’s and realized she’d perfectly said everything I wanted to say. I’m reposting it here with her permission.
I did this in honor of my friend Courtney who blogs at Our Small Moments.
This week Courtney had to endure the untimely loss of Scott – her best friend, her soul mate, her husband, the father of her young children – to cancer. He was just 34 years old.
This week Courtney became a widow and a single mother in the blink of an eye.
Courtney is one of the kindest and strongest people I have ever known. While Scott had his treatments far from home, Courtney had to continue working full time and caring for their children. Never once did Courtney’s optimism waver. She was Scott’s most faithful supporter and Scott tried so hard to recover for his family. Although their time together was short, the love they shared was amazing and inspiring.
I know it doesn’t sound like it, but I have never met Courtney in real life. We are “bloggy friends” and yet I feel closer to Courtney than some people I see all the time. We were both lucky enough to find ourselves included in a group of generous women who support one another through the highs and lows in our lives – online and off. Besides blogging, we’ve been there for one another through pregnancies, new babies, house sales, illness, and loss. We have weathered Scott’s illness together.
We’re scattered across the country and we’ve tried our best to be there for Courtney as much as we can. But all we want tonight is to be with Courtney. To hug her and hold her hand and cry with her. We want to hug her sweet little children and tell them it’s going to be alright. But we can’t. Because we’re just so damn far away.
Ever since we heard the news, we’ve been putting ourselves in Courtney’s place. We’ve been asking ourselves, “Can you imagine the sadness, the fear, the anger, and the heartache Courtney must be feeling now?”
Can you?
I can’t even guess and yet I’m sitting here crying as I write this because that’s all I can think about. I think about her kids who are so close in age to mine and I think about Courtney trying to explain to them why their dad is no longer with them. Why he can’t be at another soccer game or ballet recital. Why he’ll never tuck them into bed again. I think about Courtney and how she must go on alone now, without her best friend by her side. I think about how empty Courtney’s bed must feel without Scott beside her. How quiet her house must be without his company. I think about the overwhelming tasks that she must accomplish in the next few days. It would be all I could do not to curl into a ball and try to escape.
We felt so useless and powerless to help our friend. Our group went back and forth with ideas to help Courtney (send her meals, send flowers, etc.) and then we heard about a real need she has. Something we could actually help her with. A burden we could actually lift no matter where we were.
As you know, cancer isn’t cheap. Scott battled cancer for almost a year and the bills have mounted very high. Courtney is a single mom now with one salary. We know that many of her friends and family who live close by will take care of food and help her with her children and will be there to listen, but those medical bills will loom over her for months or years even. We realized that we were in the perfect position to help her alleviate those bills.
That’s why we started a fundraiser at Give Forward. All of the money we raise will go to pay the medical bills that were accrued during Scott’s illness. We’re sharing it with our readers, because we know that many of you have been touched by cancer and by loss and you know exactly how Courtney is feeling tonight.
We would hope that you would feel moved to help Courtney and her children. Help her sleep better at night knowing that the medical bills aren’t closing in on her. It doesn’t have to be a big donation, every little bit counts and is so appreciated. And if you’re in a position where you can’t donate we understand. Courtney is a praying person and I know she’d be grateful for a prayer for her and her beautiful children.
If you’d like to help Courtney and her children, please click here.
We are almost HALFWAY to our fundraising goal, please give what you can!
xo Robin
My Happy Place: Studio A Yoga– A Giveaway for Greenwood Peeps
So if you follow me on Facebook (and if you don’t– what’s the problem?? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.) you know that I spend a lot of time at Studio A. I try to do an hour of yoga everyday if I can and Studio A makes that really easy for me because they are constantly adding new times and classes so that I can sneak up there without kids and get my bliss on.
If you didn’t read my post about my love affair with yoga— you should. I also made a vlog talking MORE about how much I love The Yoga and how it’s changed my life.
I love it. I am slightly obsessed. And Studio A is probably my favorite place in all of Greenwood– there is a fireplace on one end for Hot Yoga and a waterfall on the other that tinkles and splashes a little while you are breathing.
The instructors are amazing. I couldn’t pick a favorite teacher if I had to– each teacher brings something different with them to class: a soothing tone, a love for props and making sure you are super comfortable, a lifelong knowledge of practicing yoga, a gift of convincing you that your body is stronger than you think and that you can IN FACT stand on your head. (If I can do that, anyone on the planet can!)
They all bring something different to your practice but all of the instructors are accesible. They don’t mind if you ask a question during class. They will push you to work hard, while reminding you not to push yourself too far and injure yourself. They offer modifications constantly, “If that’s as far as you can go then stay right there! That’s great. If you want to take it a little further, try this…”
No pressure. I love that.
They also have mats, bolsters, blankets and blocks. All you need to bring is your little old self!
Because of my boundless love for Studio A (and my extremely large mouth) they have offered to do a giveaway for THREE free months of yoga! BOOM!
All you have to do is like Studio A on Facebook and leave a comment here letting me know that you did it!
(Already a member at Studio A? You are still eligible to win! Just like the page and comment here. If you don’t leave a comment I won’t know you are in the contest!)
If you aren’t from Greenwood but love yoga, I’d still encourage you to like their page, they are constantly sharing great articles and videos related to practicing yoga and I think you’d really like it!
And let’s just face it– when have I EVER led you astray?
That’s what I thought.
*Contest ends at midnight on July 19th! Only good for residents of Greenwood, MS.
The Best Things in Life Never Change
Hidey ho there neighbor! If you’ve been missing me, like I’ve been missing you for the last few months, make sure you are keeping up with me via social media! Even when I’m traveling and not getting a chance to blog as often as I’d like, I’m still Tweeting, Facebooking and Instagramming til my little heart’s content! I’ve been away from home for so long that I actually needed a map to get back to my house. Who am I kidding? Y’all know I need a map to get anywhere I’m going— and by “map’, I mean a GPS with an actual voice who speaks very slowly. After a weekend in North Carolina and two weeks in Alabama, I had a chance to spend a lot of time with my brothers, sister and all of our kids. I pushed my nephew, Bo, on a Big Wheel down the grassy hill behind the house where my mother grew up. I remember doing the same thing with my grandfather thirty years ago, only then, I was riding a wooden, wheeled giraffe and that hill was more like a mountain. I remember the “whoosh” of my stomach dropping as I slid down the incline with my hair flapping around my face. Back then there was a huge oak tree right in the middle of the yard. My Grandaddy tied ropes way up high in that tree and fixed a wooden plank swing from the ends of it. Me and my sister took turns in the swing, the ropes were so long we soared over his head. He’d push us until we were breathless then we had to, “Let the cat die.” I’m not sure where he got the expression but that meant you got one last push then as soon as the swing stopped moving your turn was over. Thirty years ago, the yard at the house was so shaded you couldn’t see the neighbors house behind you. The tornadoes of 2011 changed that, and now you can see clear across Cahaba Heights to Red Mountain. The landscape has changed, the tree along with the swing is gone, but some things remain the same. The stairs still squeak when you walk up from the basement, a treasure trove of junk, spare hammers and a mini-trampoline that will comfortably seat four of my nieces and nephews at a time. The house still smells like my grandparents even though they have been gone for years. 
The laundry shoot from the bathroom closet to the basement is still a main attraction for children under eight-years-old, mainly boys. The grass is still as thick and plush as a brand new carpet, cushioning bare little feet as they chase each other squealing through the yard.
Where the huge oak used to be
And the things that really matter? The whoosh of a tiny tummy as it’s owner squeals down the not-quite-as-steep-as-I-remembered grassy knoll. The thrill of a water gun fight with cousins who will let you squirt them directly in the face. The satisfaction of scarfing down a meal after spending all day in the sun, followed by strawberry shortcake and a squirt of whipped cream directly into each child’s mouth. Passing out on a palette of quilts surrounded their cousins… well, those are memories that my kids, my nieces, and my nephews will hold tight to for the rest of their lives. And those are the things that will never change. 
Top 3 Things I Want You to Know About Sponsored Posts
If you’ve been around here for very long, you may have noticed that all of a sudden I’m writing a lot of sponsored posts. I’m all “#SPONSORED!! #AD!! #NoButIReallyLikeThis Product!!! Holy Hashtag Batman!!” Boo– I don’t want you to be confused so here are the top three reasons I write *sponsored content!
*Sponsored– any post for which a blogger receives compensation, either by payment or free product
You know how sometimes people say things like, “What would be your dream job? What would you do for free because you love it so much??” My answer would be this. What I’m doing right now– writing, blogging, flying all over the country meeting interesting people and learning from them, then sitting down and telling y’all all about it. And I did do it for free for almost four years. Because I love it!
But what if your passion snowballed into your dream job and you realized all of a sudden that you could do what you love– EXACTLY what you love– and get paid to do it??
Boom. Sponsored content.
Here are the top three things I want you to know about my sponsored posts:
1. I will never post sponsored content without telling you that’s exactly what it is. (Aside from being illegal, it’s bad form and that ain’t who I am!)
2. I will never post about a product or service unless I think it has value to my readership. I do not say, “Yes” to every offer that comes my way. And if I’m telling you about something it’s because I a) Totally humiliated myself in the using of said product and you need to hear my story, or b) I think it’s something you are really going to love.
3. I don’t want you to ever feel like I think you are only a consumer– because you are NOT. Not to me. Most of you are my friends, online or in real life, and the rest of you are part of my tribe– you comment and like and lift me up when I post about depression or my crappy parenting and I don’t want to ever jeopardize that!
Do I want to get paid to do what I love? Of course I do. Do I want to become an endless stream of commercials– absolutely not!
What’s your take on sponsored posts?
Hey Look! I’m A Real Gardener!
I am super excited to team up with the *Home Depot to write this series of posts on fixing up my yard, ‘cuz I couldn’t have done it by myself! This is a sponsored post…
Normally when I say “we” worked in the yard, I mean, my husband, Zeb, worked in the yard while I sat in the shade and nodded my agreement at any questions he asked.
I think his tractor’s sexy.
But this year after teaming up with Home Depot to #DigIn to my Thriller, Filler, Spiller project, I haven’t been able to stop planting things.
Pretty!! I did that! (And they are still alive!)
After yoga and a quick trip to the store on Saturday I came home with a carload of gardening supplies, a few bales of pine straw for mulching, rosemary, cilantro and basil— for planting and eating.
Drawn by the strange site of their mother, elbow deep in dirt, my children flocked to my side in amazement.
“Momma, WHAT are you doing?” Emma, my six-year-old asked.
“Planting herbs to cook with,” I explained. “Close your eyes and smell this then tell me what it reminds you of,”I held the sweet basil up to her nose and she inhaled.
“Pizza!” She yelled.
Aubrey, Sadie and our honorary O’Bryant, Elizabeth, all sniffed and agreed— basil smells like pizza, rosemary smells like chicken, and cilantro smells like soap!
Sadie, my four-year-old, helped me plant zinnia seeds along the fence in our backyard. We laid on the dirt and I handed her the seeds one by one. I hope I never forget the way her fat little finger looked— fingernail bit down to the quick, dirt covering her hands, as she carefully poked each seed into the ground and asked, “Like dis Momma?”
“Yep, just like that.”
Sadie decided to take a nap & wait for the seeds to grow…
In the late afternoon Sadie and I stole a quilt from the house and carried it to the shade of the barn in our backyard. I was hoping she might fall asleep after an action packed weekend, instead we ended up playing I-Spy where she beat me fair and square.
Sadie’s I-Spy game face.
Sadie decided she needed a snack and as she walked to the house I stretched out on the quilt. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the cool breeze blowing off the river. I marveled in the perfect weather and the split second of time that is Springtime in Mississippi before the mosquitos start swarming.
I was still stretched out with my eyes closed when Sadie came back. Before I could roll over and open my eyes she whispered loudly, “Shhhhh! Momma’s sweepin!” She folded the edge of the blanket over my legs, kissed my sweaty forehead and patted my grimy hands. “Shhhh! No Moses!” She scolded our dog. “Momma’s asweep!”
I wondered how long she’d let me lay there and before I even finished the thought she was tapping me on the forehead, “Hey, will you open dis? It’s twicky.” She asked, passing me her granola bar.
That evening, once everyone was scrubbed clean and tucked in their beds, I realized why my husband isn’t capable of keeping his eyes open once his head hits the pillow. The best planting I did all day is when I planted my butt in my own bed and fell asleep, a little sunkissed and tired in the best way possible.
It’s home improvement time, and The Home Depot has everything you need to #DigIn for Spring. No matter what projects you want to tackle, they have great values on all you need. They’re ready to help you with renovation ideas and expert advice, too.
Get over $300 in email exclusive savings each year, sneak peeks on new products, monthly lawn & garden ideas for your region and access to The Home Depot’s gardening experts. Click here to join the world’s largest garden community today! Or go to http://gardenclub.homedepot.com/ to see some of the many benefits of membership.
This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of The Home Depot.
- « Previous Page
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- …
- 30
- Next Page »