Our first day in the Magic Kingdom started with the making of mass numbers of PB&Js and packing up all the crap you have to take with you anytime you travel with kids. After a short walk from our hotel room to the bus stop, a bus ride, folding and unfolding the double stroller twice, a quick blood transfusion and another much longer walk- we were there!

We walked through the town square and my children were truly awestruck to see Cinderella’s castle for the first time. We had been at the park for about 30 minutes when Aubrey asked for the first time, “Can we go? It’s hot. I want to swim.” I informed her that no we would not be leaving and she needed to get happy and NOW, Dadgummit!

By the time Emma had her first meltdown, I was in line with the girls waiting to ride Winnie the Pooh. Emma changed her mind about riding about the same time that I saw the EN-TIRE Byars Clan from Jasper, AL! Emma went AWOL and took off through a maze of chains and handrails, while I had to choose between losing my place in line or chasing my kid. Tough choice, but the Byars‘ saved me. I told Aubrey that Jill wasn’t a stranger and to hang on, I would be right back. After safely escorting Emma to Shuggie, I jumped back in line.

My next opportunity to embarrass myself came while we were standing in line waiting to ride the Jungle Cruise. Aubrey (almost 5) saw a little girl her age who was Asian. We kept passing them in line and the girls would examine each other like little girls do when they see someone who looks so different than their own reflection. I can only imagine that Aubrey looked as exotic to the little girl as she did to Aubrey.

They were perfect opposites on the outside. Aubrey with her curly blond hair, freckles sprinkled across her round face, and her bright blue eyes. And the yen to her yang, with straight black hair, perfect olive skin and almond shaped brown eyes. After about our third pass, Aubrey asked loudly, “Momma, why that girl look like she’s from China?” Oh Lawdy.

I explained to her that God made us all different but just because someone LOOKS different from her doesn’t mean they are. I told her that little girl might be from South Carolina, as well. She looked skeptical, and for good reason the girls parents seemed to speak about as much English as I speak of whatever their language is…but I’m not raising a bigot, y’all. I want my baby to know God made us all equal!

By the time we got off the Jungle ride Emma was done. Do you understand me? D-U-N, done! We had a SERIOUS problem keeping Emma’s shoes on her feet. I couldn’t begin to count the number of times someone ran to catch up with us to return them after she had thrown them from the stroller like Danny DeVito threw Momma from the Train. I was attempting to put Emma’s shoes back on her feet while we were disembarking. She took the opportunity to LIE DOWN across the exit…of the boat. There were only about 70-80 people watching as I picked my writhing and screaming child up, threw her and her shoes in the stroller and got the heck out of there.

Preview

Disney World: We went, we saw, we were conquered on a daily basis. Our trip started out with a bang while I waited in the car, with all 3 of my children and Shuggie with ALL of our stuff while my husband PACKED a freakin‘ bag. I am totally and 100% serious. We have been planning this trip for months and in the time it took for me to pack myself AND three kids for an entire week, including snacks, water and sunscreen for the entire family- my husband packed exactly nothing. NOT ONE THING.

He has a very complicated “baggie” system. He likes to try to pack all of his stuff into 2 gallon size Ziploc bags. I finally told him not to ask me for anything in Disney World if it didn’t come out of one of his bags not a granola bar, an Advil, a band aid or sunscreen. All the things he can conveniently NOT pack because I do…love you, honey.

Before we even got out of the state Emma had thrown up in the car, which met with a very sympathetic- “Here we go again…” from Aubrey. So naturally, we stopped at Chick-Fil-A to get food for everyone else while we cleaned up Emma’s puke. This was the straw that finally slapped me in the face with the realization that Emma does, in fact, get carsick. We followed our food stop and detox with a quick trip to the store for Dramamine. Emma (almost 3) learned how to swallow a pill in the parking lot and slept the rest of the way there.

We did Disney-on-a-dime, so while we were ON the resort we weren’t “livin‘ it up” by any stretch of the imagination. ‘Smatter of fact Aubrey walked in the room, sniffed the bed and said, “This place stinks.” Welcome to the Happiest Place on Earth.

I PROBABLY will not be blogging in Disney World, amazing as it sounds. I will be offline and totally engaged with my family. I will, however, be documenting our adventures and giving you a smorgasbord of stories when we get back. If you don’t want to drive yourself crazy by checking my blog 5 times a day (-Natalie, although this is the reason you are Co-Head Cheerleader…) you can sign up in the box that reads “SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL.” (It’s right under the pic of My Chicks.) This will allow you to receive emails anytime I post. If you care, and I realize you may not, but Hey-you’re reading this aren’t you?

T-Minus 10 hours and counting…I’ve purchased a ridiculous amount of sunscreen, bottled water, and snack food. I’ve packed diapers, pacifiers, blankets, cameras, camcorders, and enough Elmo and Tinkerbell panties for every toddler likely to show up while we’re there. I have yelled at every member of my immediate family in the last 6 hours (save Sadie and Shuggie-Thanks be to God for them both) and almost cried twice. Isn’t vacation FUN?

I don’t remember any of this when I was a kid. I remember going to sleep in my bed, briefly waking up in the wee hours as someone carried me to the car, then waking up THERE. I didn’t have to deal with the slave labor aspect of vacation that all parents become familiar with. Deal with it…geez, I didn’t even realized it existed!

As much as I am NOT looking forward to being strapped in a moving vehicle with my dearly beloved for at least 8 hours tomorrow, I AM looking forward to the memories we will make. I can’t wait to see my little girls’ faces light up when they see the Magic Kingdom for the first time. Then it will all be worth it. I hope.

These chicks are getting a makeover by Delicious Designs by Trista!!

Want a makeover for yourself? Well hurry on over to our website and get your order in before May 1st and get a 10% discount.

We are T-minus 8 days and counting before we hit the road for Orlando. My husband has been looking forward to this trip since BEFORE we actually had children. He has been scouring the brochures and maps like a true tourist.

I have REPEATEDLY reminded him that he is going to be with an infant, a 2 year old and a 4 year old, but I’m not sure he gets it. I’m thinking I probably need one of those harness things with a leash (you know the kind kids wear at the mall) for him so I can keep up with him.

At the very least I should probably look into to buying some sort of sedative to slip in his coffee every morning so that he doesn’t scare the children with his overt enthusiasm.

I have a magic lamp. Unfortunately, it’s not the “genie-in-a-bottle-you’ve-got-3-wishes” kind of lamp. It sits beside my chair in our living room and as long as it is burning like the Olympic torch, my children will sleep at night.

My husband, who likes to save a buck wherever he can, has been known to turn off The Lamp. It never fails. He always gets busted when I am awake at 3am with one or ALL of my children. I always flip out on him the next morning, “WHY would you turn The Lamp off?” I’ll say, with bags under my eyes. (He has lived with me for almost 12 years and is used to me being totally irrational.)

Seriously, if The Lamp burns all night everyone sleeps. The Lamp is wired directly to my children’s eyelids, with one flip of a switch you can not only turn off The Lamp, but one of my kids eye’s will simultaneously pop open.

I’ll go green somewhere else. I’ll recycle. I’ll only take 5 minute showers. I’ll turn the AC OFF. I’ll use my leftovers to make compost. But The Lamp is staying ON!