First things first, you’re gonna need to make Ash & Bobby’s Korean Grilled Chicken, make a TON because you need leftovers!  Slice your leftover chicken and reheat in a skillet.

Quick ingredient list:

Flour street taco tortillas

1 bag of coleslaw mix

Sriracha

Yum Yum Sauce

Toasted sesame seeds

Juice of half a lime

Sesame oil

Green onions

Korean Chicken Street Tacos

To make the slaw combine the following:

Bag of cabbage/coleslaw mix

2-3 Tablespoons Yum Yum Sauce

1 TBS Sriracha (more or less to taste)

1/2 teaspoon sesame oil

Juice of half a lime

Salt and pepper to taste

1 teaspoon toasted sesame seeds

Sliced green onions to taste (2 TBS)

Build your tacos with sliced chicken, top with slaw, Sriracha and a sprinkle of sesame seeds!

So good!

Well. I have big news. It’s going to seem like work news. But really, it’s mental health news.

I haven’t been able to write the way I used to since I was medicated for my mental illness shit. My brain doesn’t work the same way. The meds make my brain foggy. I forget words. Don’t even ask my family about my memory.

The last book I finished writing was “Are You There God? It’s Me, Mommy.” My publisher rejected it and wanted a complete rewrite. On a book I had worked on for 10 years. TEN. YEARS.

I had the conversation with my editor and my agent while still sitting in the circle of chairs in the group room where I was a patient in an  Intensive Outpatient Program for a major depressive episode. 

Let that sink in.

Everyone had left for the day. My notes from the day’s group session were still in my lap, resting on  the blanket I brought everyday because it was so cold in the room. Empty chairs in a circle. And me, being told AGAIN that what I had written wasn’t good enough. And no clear direction. No marked up manuscript with edits or helpful suggestions. Just “No, we don’t like it. Start over. You talk about your depression, go darker…”

Darker??? Darker than being away from my husband and kids for 2 months while I struggled to feed myself everyday? My entire team of doctors and therapists said no way. I was trying to walk out of the darkness, not toward it.

I asked to be released from my contract and spent the next few years feeling like a complete failure. Then I was medicated and every change in prescription and dosage was like twisting a kaleidoscope. Just a twist too far in either direction and my entire outlook shifted, side effects waxed and waned. Sleep was either elusive or all-consuming.

I found a way to be happy again. To be stable. To interact with people and to take care of myself and my kids. To cook dinner and occasionally exercise.

But I couldn’t write. I tried. It was all shit. I wanted to share my mental health journey but I couldn’t look back into the darkness. It was still too close. So I stopped trying. I decided if I was never able to write again, I was okay with it. I mean, I wrote ‘A’ NYTs best-seller– that should be enough. A dear friend, and one of my most trusted readers, Jodi, said to me once, “Nobody makes fun of the guy that ONLY climbed Everest ONCE.” Still makes me laugh. And I held onto that.

Good mental health requires upkeep. So when we moved to Auburn, I found a great therapist and we started from the beginning. The beginning of me. And although it seemed nearly impossible, one of my goals was to write again. Even though opening my computer to a blinking cursor made my heart race and my stomach drop. My therapist made me use the same program I used for writing my books for my grocery lists. Just to get over that fear of the blinking cursor and the blank page. 

I started outlining essays and saving tidbits of dialogue and observations on my phone. Just like I used to on napkins and notebooks stuffed into diaper bags when I was writing ‘Ketchup.’ Little by little, I added notes and said to myself– if this is just for me to remember, that’s enough.

The girls are doing remote school, they’re home every morning, quietly working. So I decided to join them. I told them my goal was to work on one essay a day and I would only work while they were working. 

This morning I sat down to start transcribing my notes into documents. On a blank page with a blinking cursor that no longer makes my chest ache and sweat bead on the back of my neck.  After 2 hours, I had outlined 32 essays. Thirty two. That’s a whole book’s worth. 

From outline to publication, ‘Ketchup’ took five years to finish. I have no idea how long this will take. I have no idea if it will be published and if it is, if I  will self-publish or go back to my publisher… I don’t know. And that’s okay. Because I am SO DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF.

Mental illness is horrible. There are no words. The meds. The side effects. The meds for the side effects. Insomnia. Sleep hygiene. Med checks. Therapy appointments week after week after week after week. But it got me here. And that is truly enough. 

Well. Hello, hello, hello. It’s been so long since I’ve blogged I legitimately forgot how to log in to my site and had to Google it. For the love. It’s hard being this dumb all of the time.

I’m not going to even attempt to catch anybody up on the last THREE YEARS. It’s too much. We’ve moved one million times. We are in Auburn, AL now and planning on staying here for the kids to finish high school. (Hopefully, but I’ve said that before and I was wrong.) Anywho, we have been in a rental and recently bought a house. In getting ready to move I’ve been in the basement all day, unpacking all of the boxes that haven’t been opened since we lived in Mississippi. Almost 5 years ago. While going through boxes and boxes of books, (I SWANEE I have pared down my collection with every move and there are still full boxes that I can’t part with.) I found the baby journals I kept while I was pregnant with each of the girls and it WRECKED me.

I am so glad that I kept them. So many memories I had totally forgotten. One of the entries in Aubrey’s journal was about the death of my grandfather and it was so timely for me. And I think maybe in will be for some other people as well. So much so that I’m blogging for the first time in THREE YEARS.

The world is shifting so much right now. My peers and I are dealing with aging parents. I cannot count the number of deaths that I read about from my Facebook friends every day. COVID, old age, a combination of the both. Deep breath. Being an adult really blows sometimes. So, here goes nothing. Hope this might encourage you, or make you feel seen, or less alone…

Nov 15, 2005                                                                                                                           

Tuesday, 9:03pm

My sweetie girl! This past Friday, my grandfather, (Cleon), Pa’s dad, passed away. Your daddy was gone on job interviews and you and I drove to Birmingham to see Cleon on Thursday afternoon. I think the last time I had seen him was at B’s wedding in June.

I was shocked to see how thin he was. He only 150 lbs and he was 6’4″. He looked so old and sick and frail. But you weren’t the least bit afraid. You probably were the best behaved you have ever been. You sat in your stroller and babbled to him, then you would grunt and kiss your lips at him. I bet I picked you up at least 20 times so you could kiss him.

He was so thrilled to see you. He couldn’t believe how beautiful and sweet you were. Pa and Aunt Diane said it was the first time he had smiled in two months.

Cleon was scheduled to have his left leg amputated on Friday morning from an injury going all the way back to World War II! But the surgery was going to be so traumatic the doctors didn’t want to put him to sleep for it. But he began to have trouble breathing and Friday around noon, he passed away. Trish, Pa and Aunt Diane were all with him.

And although I am saddened by the loss, especially for Trish, I am so thankful that he passed without the trauma of surgery. The saddest part of all was having to watch my Daddy say good-bye to his Dad. And having to watch a faithful and loving wife say good-bye to her husband.

Death is simply a part of life. And to become truly alive, resurrected, we have to leave our bodies. It is so bittersweet. But the sweetness is in knowing we will see each other again. The pastor at the funeral quoted Cleon as saying, “I will lose this battle but I will win the war.”

This is my greatest prayer for you, and I’m sure it was Cleon’s for you as well,. That early in your life you will find and develop your own relationship with Jesus. So that I, along with everyone else who loves you, will have the pleasure of your company for all eternity.

Please, as you grow up, don’t forget or cast aside your grandparents, their love for & the legacy they leave behind is one of the most precious gifts you could ever receive.

I love you,

Momma

Hang in there, folks. Thinking of all of you. Hopefully it won’t be three more years before I post again. But no promises.

This is a sponsored post. 

When we lived in Mississippi the water was so soft it felt like the soap and shampoo would never come off. Not gonna lie, one of the many reasons I looked forward to moving to South Carolina was the idea of hard water. I dreamed of squeaky clean hair and clear skin.

Cut to my first shower– I made the mistake of going for an air dry and my hair was closer to God than it had ever been. Our shower was stained from the minerals in the water and it took me several months before I could get the stains out of the grout. In the meantime, my face was breaking out like I was 14 years old.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been more excited to get an email than we I was approached by Berkey. Super easy installation (according to my husband) and after my first shower, I was able to blow dry my hair to a shine previously reserved for what I called “Alabama hair”– a sheen and smoothness only achieved in my home state.

It’s so good, I can’t get Aubrey and her super curly hair out of my shower. I just ordered a second filter expressly for that purpose. I can’t recommend the Berkey Shower Filter highly enough! https://theberkey.com/products/berkey-shower-filter

This post is sponsored by Luvs.

On Father’s Day, we typically celebrate the men we’ve called Dad, Daddy, Pops or the like. But we sometimes forget the other men in our lives, and the lives of our children who are father figures and have helped to shape our lives. Men like uncles, brothers and teachers who go out of their way to make a difference.

When Luvs gave me a $200 gift card to #ShareTheLuv for Father’s Day, I immediately thought of Aubrey’s teacher– Mr Peter.

We moved from Misssissippi to South Carolina in December 2016, which meant a new school for the girls. On their first day of school at Lowcountry Montessori, we received their class assignments, Aubrey would be in Mr. Peter’s class… and “IT” began.

“IT” being Mr. Peter’s cult following.

The school administrator was glowing as she spoke of him. While escorting Emma and Sadie to their classes, their teachers asked where the other girls were placed.

“Aubrey is in Mr. Peter’s cla–” I was interrupted.

“Oooooh! She’s going to love it!”

“Mr. Peter is wonderful!”

Grown women gushed. They spoke of his vast years of teaching experience and how his love of teaching kept his classroom interesting and fun.

Around town as we made new friends and talked about the girls’ new school “IT” was still happening.

“My friend’s son is in his class. He talks about Mr. Peter all the time!”

“My daughter had him and we ADORED him!”

It didn’t take long for us to begin to understand what all the gushing was about.

Mr. Peter went out of his way to not only make Aubrey feel welcome and a vital part of the classroom– he engaged her in ways she’d never been challenged before.

When Aubrey became frustrated with her English assignments, Mr. Peter– knowing that Aubrey was an artist and an avid fan of graphic novels– gave her the best exercise she could’ve imagined. He asked her to create a graphic novel of her own. Five pages, fully drawn out with a complete storyline.

“And be sure to color all of the panels,” he told her.

Aubrey’s love of art supplies and more specifically, markers, added another layer of satisfaction to an assignment that challenged her intellectually and creatively.

We dreaded the end of the year science project. Until we read the assignment instructions and realized how much leeway Mr. Peter had given.

Aubrey had seen matchstick bottle rockets on YouTube and wanted to create her own, exploring energy conversion and combustion– and also because she’s a middle schooler and wanted to play with matches.

Mr. Peter told her to go for it.

I’ve never seen her so determined and focused. She made at least 100 rockets, recording her successes and failures and was so proud of herself when that first rocket took off!

The look on Aubrey’s face says it all! We now understand the legend that is Mr. Peter and I wanted to honor his contribution to Aubrey’s raisin’ by giving him this gift card!

Luvs believes in affordable, dependable diapers like their Luvs Ultra Leakguard Diapers with NightLock Plus™.  These diapers are softer and more absorbent than before, with large stretch tabs for easy fastening, ultra-leakage protection and a money-back guarantee.

Luvs is sharing the luv this Father’s day with a $2 print-at-home coupon. Click here to access $2 off any one diaper pack.

Print the coupon at home and use it at any mass, discount or grocery stores where Luvs Diapers are sold. All Luvs Diapers are included in this particular offer, except trial/travel sized diaper packs. Print-at-Home coupons expire 30 days from the date the coupon is printed.

Share the coupon and #ShareTheLuv

This post is sponsored by Luvs. 

This post is sponsored by Luvs. Which means there’s a prize for one of you. 

Most moms will tell you they just want a clean house and quiet for Mother’s Day. Can I get an Amen and a Hell Yeah?!

But at the top of my list this year I have a very specific request. I’d like to ask that plans for my breakfast in bed start at noon on Saturday. Followed by a grocery store run. Possibly followed by a practice breakfast that evening.

Last year I sat in the bed for over an hour pretending to be asleep while my husband went to the grocery store because we had nothing resembling breakfast food and apparently my daughters refused to serve me leftover burritos or a ham sandwich. Or a hot dog that had been hiding in the fridge a questionable length of time.

It was not a picture perfect celebration. I had to text my husband and threaten his life and our marriage if he didn’t send coffee while I was being held hostage.

I finally got my breakfast in bed and it was just as delicious as you would expect. **clears throat**

Truthfully and without sarcasm (I’ll try. No promises) parenting kids at 12, 10 and 8 years of age has major perks. They can actually accomplish chores: unloading and loading the dishwasher, doing laundry, putting away their clothes and (GASP) actually cleaning up around the house! They’ve become more independent and it’s crazy fun to watch them grow into young ladies. They’ve even started making their own lunches and getting their breakfasts on their own!

Growing up is bittersweet– I miss the babies they were but love the little people they are becoming. And that’s Mother’s Day present enough. (Unless you are my husband and I want a massage, a facial and a week at the beach by myself.)

Luvs has graciously given me a $50 AmEx cash card to give away. #ShareTheLuv by telling me what you want for Mother’s Day in the comments (on this blog post!) for a chance to win.

In honor of Mother’s Day, Luvs, the official diaper of experienced moms (and dads, too) is sharing the luv and offering a great money-saving opportunity with a $1 print-at-home coupon. Visit http://www.coupons.com/brands/luvs-coupons/ to access a Luvs coupon of $1 off any one diaper pack.Print-at-Home coupons expire 30 days from the date the coupon is printed by the consumer.

In addition, to continue sharing the savings, you can look out for the paper on Sunday, May 28th, for a high-value BrandSaver coupon offering for $2 off any one pack or box of Luvs diapers. The expiration date is 6/10/17.

You can use these coupons at any mass, discount or grocery stores where Luvs Diapers are sold. All Luvs Diapers are included in this particular offer, except trial/travel sized diaper packs.

The official diaper of experienced parents, Luvs Ultra Leakguard Diapers with NightLock Plus™ are softer and more absorbent than before*, with large stretch tabs for easy fastening, ultra-leakage protection and a money-back guarantee.  Luvs provides features babies and parents need for less cost than premium brands.

CONTEST ENDS MAY14th at 12am EST.