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Sonic Somebody-Punch-Me-In-The-Face-Until-I-Lose-Consciousness Hour

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This Monday morning started with me waking up a full 45 minutes late because apparently I am amazing at turning alarms off in my sleep. Oopsie.

I sprinted into the kitchen to throw food at my kids and pack their lunches. (It should be noted I haven’t gotten my heart rate up that high in about six months.) In said dash to feed my children for the entire day in fifteen minutes I knocked an open Diet Coke can out of the fridge, filling my shoes and soaking my night gown.

(Sidebar: YES, shoes. I think we’ve pretty much covered that you don’t walk barefoot in my house because my kids are nastee. Right? And it’s too hot here for slippers. Technically they are sandals. Birkenstocks if you have to know– but bottom line? Full of Diet Coke. With lime. Good grief y’all love some details. 

ALSO- I do this THING with Diet Coke where I open a can and leave it in the fridge and sort of take a swig whenever I walk by. On average I’d say my Diet Coke consumption is average to low but I hardly ever just like SIT down and drink. )

The day started with a bang but everybody got to school on time and I got to stay home with this little nugget.

Gonna have to homeschool this one. She’s too snuggly for school.

 

and worked through a huge stack of business cards I got from BlogHer. I filed the cards into four categories:

1) Brands

2)Bloggers

3)People Whose Cards Were So Confusing I Couldn’t Tell You Anything Other Than Their Name

4) People Who Are Not On Twitter. (I hate to say it- not really- but I threw all of these away. I mean how HARD are you trying to build something if you aren’t even on Twitter. I can’t imagine paying what it costs to go to a conference and not using the single most powerful and effective tool available. Which BY THE BY, is free.)

Sadie & Moses laid under my desk to help.

MOVING ON…

Sadie and I chilled at the house all day. Dora and Diego babysat while I worked my way through cards, wrote a couple of columns and um… yeah. That’s it. There were a lot of cards.

Took me about 10 hours to go through.

We went to pick the bigs up from school and APPARENTLY Dora & Diego aren’t really into napping so Sadie hadn’t had one. I had told the kids we could go to Sonic and about half a mile from where I needed to turn to either go to my house or to Sonic, Sadie started freaking out.

Sadie: I MEED TO GO POTTY.

Me: Really? (Well founded skepticism folks.)

Sadie: YES!

Me: Fine, we’ll go home and you can go.

She panicked, unsure if that meant we wouldn’t go to Sonic.

Sadie: I don’t Meed to go.

Me: Are you SURE?

Sadie: I DON’T MEEEEEEEED TO GO!

We flew into the parking lot where my kids changed their orders approximately 467 times while I was talking to the little dude in the speaker.

Me: I want two coconut slushes, one powerade slush and a large Diet Coke with Vanilla. (Nectar of the Gods.)

Him: So you want…

Emma: WAIT! Can I get cherry?

Me: Whatever!! I’m sorry can I get one cherry?

Sadie: I want cherry too!

Me: Sorry make that two cherry… one powerade slush.

Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

This went on until I finally told my kids to zip it and told the dude we needed four slushes of ANY variety and a vat of Diet Coke with Vanilla. I was still mourning the early morning loss of my Diet Coke with Lime.

This is the point when I took a moment for a little Mommy Reverie and wondered again how much it would cost to have bulletproof glass installed between me and my kids…

 

And ALSO? Why do they call it “Happy” Hour??

How was your Monday? 

*This post is not sponsored by Sonic or Diet Coke. But it should be.

** Do not be jealous of the sexy.

 

High Fashion, Python Clutch & Loving Myself

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On Facebook yesterday I shared a link to a flashmob organized by teachers and faculty to Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe. It was one of those things that was happy, fun and uplifting– and made me cry like a baby.

I’m that girl. I cry if something is really funny, OR really sad, OR really happy. Kristen Bell explained it to Ellen perfectly. If being sad is 0 and being happy is a 10, anything less than 3 or greater than an 8 makes me cry. (I saw you just shake your head at my crazy.)

BlogHer’12 was crazy. 5000 women in one location– the New York City Hilton. It was everything you would expect from having 5,000 women together. There were lots of amazing women to laugh and share with and their was a smattering of mean girls who only treated you like you were worth talking to once they saw your name badge and realized how “important” you were.

Friday night BlogHer hosted a fashion show featuring a handful of bloggers. I went to support my roommate Pauline Campos but wasn’t expecting a whole lot. It was clothes. And I mean YAY! Fancy designer clothes! Pretty! Sparkly! I cannot afford you! But I got a whole lot more than I expected.

The show started with blogger, Laurita Tellado rolling herself in her wheelchair onto the stage. As the music started pumping she STOOD UP out of her chair and walked the runway with a confidence that gave me chills.

By the time Pauline made her way to the catwalk, I had crabwalked to the very front of the runway to take her picture like a proud Momma.  (Yes I did crabwalk at a fashion show.) I sat in the floor, with tears rolling down my cheeks as blogger after blogger WORKED IT down the runway.

Pauline working the runway.

No one was a size ‘zero’. No one was what the mainstream media tells us in beautiful, but every one of those women was stunning. Gorgeous. Their confidence literally took my breath away.

I’m not a size ‘0’ nor do I want to be. But there are times, like every other woman on the planet that I wish my body was different or my clothes fit me in a different way. And this may sound ridiculous to you but this is why I LOVE me some accessories. Regardless of how  tight my jeans are or if I can actually zip the dress I wanted to wear, a new pair of shoes or a sassy purse can be enough to give me more confidence.

This is why I was SO excited when my friend, Annsley Popov, sent me a clutch from her designer line of handbags and accessories, Presmer. She sent me the natural Marie clutch, which I had sort of been drooling over for awhile.

I loved seeing women with bodies like mine on the runway. I loved seeing them in designer clothes that I would have assumed weren’t made any larger than a size 4. And I love that Presmer’s bangles and purses can add a little designer punch to even the most simple wardrobe.

Check out Presmer’s line here!

Disclaimer: In exchange for this post I was given a Presmer clutch for review. HOWEVER, I only review or promote items I genuinely think my audience will enjoy. I hope you do! 

Breastfeeding: The Final Chapter

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I threw in the towel on breastfeeding this week. All you Nursing Nazi’s- SAVE. IT. I’ve read your books, I’ve been to your meetings (one of which was advertised as “Breastfeeding Support Group Meeting Every Tuesday at 1130am. Bring a sack lunch, drinks provided.” Say who?)

And I am O-FFICIALLY over it. Done. Finished. Finito. THE END.

The boob sweat was getting too excessive, plus my back has been killing me from lugging these things around aaaaaannnnd, I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for FIVE YEARS!  That is one thousand, eight hundred and twenty five days people. I’m so accustomed to sleep deprivation I could be a CIA operative.

Sadie Plum is enjoying her formula immensely. Which is fab-a-lous…I actually took a bath this weekend without even stopping to consider if she was hungry or when I had fed her last. Usually she waits until I’m in the tub to decide she’s hungry. Ahhh, the joys of formula.

Although my boobs feel like they are full of gravel, I’m wearing three sports bras, an ACE bandage and smell slightly of Chinese stir-fry due to the cabbage leaves in my bra, I have no regrets. This was the right decision for me.