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Motherhood Hurts. No Really. Ouch.

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Motherhood kicked my tail today. Actually, Sadie kicked my tail today.

Everything I did, she successfully undid in a fraction of the time. Four hours of sorting, folding and ironing clothes? Undone in less than five minutes while I made lunch.

A clean and tidy writing desk? Undone with a pack of stickers in 3.5 minutes while I cleaned aforementioned laundry mess.

Nap time today was preceded by a full hour of screaming and thrashing. I offered everything I could think of: food, juice, milk, rocking, singing, a new car, reading a book. But it only made her scream louder.

Sadie walked nowhere today. Every where she went was against her will and by force. I hurt my wrist this week exercising (you really gotta watch out for those 5lb dumbbells) and every time I picked her up, it hurt.

By dinner I was in tears. I locked myself in my bathroom, took a bath and then limped to my bed. Thanks to squats, lunges and peeling stickers off of hardwood floors all day, I am unable to bend my knees when I walk. And yes, I look ridiculous.

Aubrey and Emma felt sorry for me. I’m not sure if it was the actual tears I cried when Sadie jimmied the fridge open and started stomping deli meats into the floor, or if it was the size of the ice pack I had on my knee. Either way, they brought me Dr Suess’ “Oh The Places You Will Go,” and a glass of ice water and climbed in bed with me. I tried not to sob as I read it.

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Being a mom is hard. But getting tucked into bed by those three? Worth it.

What have your kids done lately to make you smile? (Or are you still hiding in the bathroom??)

Here Comes the Sun

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I am ridiculously happy.

My backyard smells like honeysuckle and there is nothing, save the smell of my children after a bath, that smells as delicious as honeysuckle. My husband cut the grass this weekend. Our yard looks tidy and smells like heaven. This afternoon Aubrey, my six-year-old, made snacks for her two younger sisters and took them outside to play while I folded clothes in the laundry room that overlooks their playhouse.

I have clean, crisp sheets on my bed.

Hubs did our taxes last night and we are getting money back. (WOOT!)

I sent my edited manuscript to my agent yesterday and all of my freelance assignments are up to date.

And I just spent 45 minutes, okay fine, a full hour, rocking my two-year-old to sleep. Sadie is the squishiest, sweetest baby on the planet. She curled up against me while we listened to Allison Krauss via Pandora on my iPhone and I sang along. Every once in awhile she would sing with me, or lean up to kiss me or say, “Dat’s MY mommy,” and pat me on the shoulder.

“Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles starting playing on my phone and Sadie said, “OH! Dat’s my pay-bor-it song, Momma!”

Sometimes, it’s the little things in life that make you happy and I’m thankful to have so many little things piling up around me at once.

Tonight I’ll be sleeping in clean sheets with a fresh sprig of honeysuckle on my night table and this makes me ridiculously happy.

What is something simple that makes you ridiculously happy?


 

 

Kiddie Table

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Last Sunday at church we had a covered dish luncheon. (Yum.) My friends and I put all our kids at a “kiddie table” so we wouldn’t have to deal with them and so we could all talk. As it turned out, the church was pretty full that day and they ended up sharing their table. My friends and I laughed until we cried when we looked up and saw “The Kiddie Table.”

Poor guys.

Bad Mommy/Sadie Sings

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The girls love to take my iPhone into their bedroom for Dance Parties and for this very reason I have downloaded two albums of KidzBop songs from iTunes. But apparently, on more than one occasion, they have chosen to listen to my work out mix instead.
While changing Sadie’s diaper tonight and preparing to tuck the chunky monkey into bed… she sang:
When I collapsed in laughter on her bedroom floor she yelled, “DOP WAPPIN’ AT ME! EE NAH PUNNY!”
Oh, I beg to differ.
If me and my chicks make you LOL, please take LITERALLY 5 seconds and vote for me as one of Circle of Moms Top 25 Funniest Moms!
(And to save some of you an e-mail that was The Black-Eyed Peas “My Humps.” And yes, I realize this speaks volumes about my parenting skillz.)

Just Chillin’

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Sadie can open the refrigerator now. It is super annoying.
I am my mother. “Close the door! Are you trying to cool the whole flippin’ HOUSE?”
Apparently, Sadie was put off by my constant nagging/mothering and decided to send me a little message– Dexter-Style. I opened the fridge last night and had a mini-heart attack when I saw this.
Touche, Sadie. Touche.

(Please ignore the spilled and dried Diet Caffeine Free Dr Pepper hanging out in the corner. I’ll clean it up eventually.)
Thanks to everyone who is voting for me on Circle of Moms Top 25 Funniest Moms! I’m in the top 7 but, Y’ALL these people are FOR REAL. Moms are climbing over each other’s heads and acting like it’s 1984 and there is only one Cabbage Patch Kid doll left. Go VOTE! It’s only ONE click- you don’t even have to enter your email address! You can vote once a day until March 28th! (If you post the link as your FB status I’ll give you my first born child… or the second. The third, as established above, is pretty scary and not housebroken yet, so I’ll keep her for now. But you can have your pick of the other two.)

Spring Break & What NOT To Do At The Doctor’s Office

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I totally can’t believe that Spring Break is ovah! It seems like yesterday it was February and I was looking at the calendar for March while breathing into a brown paper bag, trying to figure out how I was going to fit everything in. I didn’t think there was any way possible that I would be able to meet all of my deadlines, pack my family up and send them in 5 different directions and remain sane. But I did it.
It’s been hectic and I’ve totally neglected my bliggedy-blog. But now I’m back. Mostly. I still have some writing deadlines to meet and a few road trips to make but I can see April peeking around the corner and I know I’ll make it.
If you wouldn’t mind, I would LOVE YOUR VOTE over on Circle of Moms for Top 25 Funniest Moms, the competition is fierce! You can vote once a day. Just click on the link then click on VOTE. Easy peasy, no offering up your first born child, no entering your email address and blood type… just one little click. Thanks for that Boo. I feel better already.
ALSO, since you went to all that trouble for me, here is the link to last week’s (I think, it’s all a blur) column… crap. Now I don’t even remember what it was about… lemme see… OH!! You are gonna love this! This is the one where I get all my feelings out about waiting room etiquette at the doctor’s office— there was an unidentified rash, lots of touching and my chirrens. ‘Nuff said. Go read it, THEN come back and tell me this-
What would you have said to that Momma?

I’m at Camp Y’all

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For reaslies. Sleeping on a bunk bed. On the BOTTOM obviously, can you even IMAGINE me trying to climb down a ladder in dead dark with a full bladder!? Not a good thing.
I am in Jasper, GA at Sharp Top Cove, at a YoungLives training program. (And not in Forks, WA as you may have assumed from the pic. Although, if Edward shows up… I could be awhile.)
YoungLives is a mentoring program for Teen Moms, that is so exciting I don’t even have any words for it. There are chapters across the country and if you are even the least bit interested I would encourage you to Google it, or leave me a comment and I’ll see if I can help you find a club near you.
My kids are scattered hither and yon between grandparents and while I’m learning more about this ministry, I am going to bed without tucking three little blondies at bed at night. I do miss them but, I’m eating 3 hot meals a day that I didn’t prepare, walking gorgeous mountain trails by rushing streams, and meeting some of the sweetest and most fun girls EVER. We may or may not have played Just Dance 2 after all of our meetings tonight. And I may or may not have OWNED Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love.” (Spoiler: MAY. I rocked it.)
And to make me justa little happier, (because don’t I just sound like I’m teetering on the edge of depression???) Look what is ON THE FLIPPING SCHEDULE FOR TOMORROW:
From 9:15 to 10am… look: SOLITUDE. Shut. Up.
No really, be quiet.
I will be having solitude so don’t bother me.