Robin's Chicks

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Snow Day

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I realize all my Canadian and Yankee friends are laughing, laughing, LAUGHING at The South right now, but this is the second biggest snowfall I’ve ever seen in my life. (About 3″.) It was 29 degrees last night and I thought. I. Was. Going to die. Wearing long sleeve pajamas with long pants, AND socks to sleep AND an extra blanket on the bed.
One of my friends on Facebook posted last night that it was -14 where she lives. My brain can’t even comprehend weather that cold. I start shivering and shaking with hypothermia just thinking about weather that cold.
Since we haven’t had snow fall like this since ’93 I figured we needed to live it up.
We went sledding on garbage can lids. Listen, when you are used to wearing shorts and flipflops on Christmas Day, you don’t usually have a sled in the garage.
I built the first snowman of my entire life. (War Eagle!) It’s mouth fell off right as I was clicking and I didn’t have the wherewithal to stay in the cold for one more second. Again, because I was sure that death by hypothermia was imminent if I stood outside for even one more second.
And we made snowcream. I used Paula Deen’s recipe and even set my bowl out last night, but something went awry.
Aubrey said, “Mom, this tastes like licking a car.”
I wondered how she knew what a car tasted like… until I tasted the snowcream. And now I know, too.

Happy Birthday to Me!

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Yes I did just wish myself a Happy Birthday. I am 33-years-old today. I’m really excited about it because I was sure I was going to be 34 until one of my friends did the math and told me I was only 33. It’s the best birthday gift ever, because I feel like I gained a year!

I’m spending the day in my happy place, i.e., in pajamas with my kids. Emma (4-years-old) did wake up with 103 degree fever this morning, but she hasn’t thrown up (yet) and Sister Wife called,got my grocery list and went to Wal-Mart for me so I didn’t have to drag all of my kids to the store. (Also the best gift ever.)

I have been channeling Paula Deen today, cooking up a storm and going through an alarming amount of butter. As I put the girls down for naps, Aubrey (6-years-old) asked me what we were going to have for dinner tonight.
Me: I’m making homemade macaroni and cheese, ham and green beans.
Aubrey: Ughhh, Momma. Ham is not healthy for you.
Me: It’s not THAT bad…
Aubrey: It has a lot of salt and is bad for your blood pressure…
Me: Whaaaaaa????

Whose kid is this? And where is mine?? Seriously, y’all. Give her back.

Don’t Test Me, People

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or
Why I Haven’t Blogged In Over A Week

This week has been old-school Robin ridiculous. Three trips to the dentist, three trips to the doctors office, approximately 15-20 hours of sitting in doctor’s offices and about 1.2 million dollars in co-pays and dental fees that are not covered by our non-existent dental insurance. That’s not to mention the butt-sweat and panic attacks I’ve experienced while trying to keep Sadie from log-rolling in the floor or going through random stranger’s purses and diaper bags.

My nerves are shot.

Want a brief photo tour of my butt-sweat inducing week? Only for you…

One of the 800 times Sadie rolled in the floor at the dentist’s office. I picked her up about 750 times. But 30 pounds seems like 300 when it’s all focused on fighting, bucking and pushing away from you.


I wish you could see that I was RUNNING down the hall trying to catch her before she ran into the men’s room. Again, she did this 800 times, so it was pretty easy to snap a picture. And of course, Emma is still in that “I’m-gonna-pee-in-every-potty-in-this-town” stage so we had the opportunity to visit the ladies’ room multiple times. On one of those visits a disembodied voice from a stall said, “You might want to leave.” I mean, REALLY. I appreciate the warning but where else would you like me to do what I came in here to do???

While trying to cook dinner that same day. Sadie destroyed a photo album…

and lovingly sprinkled an entire box of granola all over my house. I’ve been sweeping and vacuuming for 4 days and it’s still sticking to my socks.

On TOP of all that:
1) Christmas is right around the corner & I have to take back the only real gift I had for my kids because it’s not the right size.
2) I paid for three cavities for various family members. (We brush. If you floss your kids’ teeth every night, I would like to give you all three of my kids because you are obviously a better parent than I am.)
3) I had to Google “pinworms” last night. And nobody should ever, EVER have to do that.

Don’t send me e-mail about how I need to “count it all joy”– I GET it. I will survive. I have survived. God’s got this. But sometimes life is hard and your circumstances SEEM overwhelming. And that’s how I’ve felt all week.

Also, I have a new policy for snarky, hateful emails. I will no longer respond to them, but I will post them on the blog, on twitter, Facebook and quite possibly in a handful of different newspapers across the Southeast with your email address and let my friends and Chicks respond. My sister has been begging for a couple of pesky e-mailers’ addresses for months. She’s one email away from getting them.

Help a Momma Out!

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Sooo, Sadie is biting again. Only at preschool where she goes two mornings a week for 3 hours…also known as, Mommy’s Sane Time. This is when I write and do everything I need to do without kids, for the week.

She doesn’t bite at home, and I can’t discipline a 22-month-old when she gets home from school…she’d be totally clueless. I went to school with her and lurked in another classroom to discipline her SHOULD she bite, so of course she didn’t…I need HELP. Please someone tell me what to do…

Sincerely,

aka, Mother of Jaws

O.M.G.

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Sorry I’ve been MIA for the last week, I’ve been trapped in a Stephen King novel-type situation involving a stomach virus which is capable of completely eradicating the human race and turned my innards and those of my eldest, completely inside out.

We enjoyed a little R&R at the local hospital, where we were not able to stay in the same room but were both on the Pediatric Unit. Which was awesome because my room had an outer space theme complete with aliens and a moon man on the ceiling and all I wanted to be growing up was an astronaut. Aubrey got stuck in the circus room with the creepy clowns. She’s so brave, I would’ve been scared to stay in that room by myself. Not that she was alone, Shuggie or her Daddy were with her the whole time.

So let’s see, inpatient hospital stays for my family this year: 5.
Total dollars spent on healthcare: 1 bajillion.
Getting to fulfill my Space Camp dream of going to outer space: priceless.

Momma Drama: Oops!

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I’ve been meaning to post this picture for awhile…guess whose mommy forgot their kid was supposed to wear a white shirt on the last day of school???

Momma’s Medical Mystery: The Saga Continues

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My gallbladder is gone and I feel WAY better than I did before, but it turns out my liver enzymes are still elevated SO, the Hubs and I are driving to Jackson tomorrow to have a liver biopsy. I am not thrilled about this, seeing as how I now have so many holes in my stomach I look like a human colander. But turns out your liver is kind of crucial to existence so we have to find out what’s wrong. Prayers appreciated!