Emma (2) helped me cook dinner tonight. I left the kitchen for MAYBE 2 minutes to pick Sadie (3mos) up. This is what she did in my absence. At least she didn’t dump all of that IN our dinner…

The “big girls” are currently in love with the movie “Matilda”. There is a scene in the movie where Matilda stands on a coffee table and dances to “Little Bitty Pretty One.” It is my girls’ collective dream to reenact this scene OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER again. Usually dancing on the table is a “no-no” in our house, but they do it so often that I finally grabbed a camera to document their table dancing for posterity. Hopefully we won’t look back one day and say “this was your very first table dance….” I need to go pray, now.

I should have realized Emma(2) was going to be a trouble maker when she had to be put in a cage before she was even 18 months old. (Alright, it’s a crib tent, but still!) She could get out of the bed and land on her feet before you could even get out of her room.

I’ve said before that Emma could give Dennis The Menace a run for his money. Don’t believe me? Fine. Here’s proof. Keep in mind that I only take pictures on days that I have a sense of humor. (Hard to believe, I’m sure, but I’m not ALWAYS amused by my children’s antics.) They are always funny in hindsight, but not necessarily hilarious when you have 5 minutes to load up all 3 kids, a diaper bag, bottles, half of their toy box, juice cups and snacks and you realize that first you must clean a jar of peanut butter and a vat of honey out of your wicker kitchen chair. (And yes, that has happened…it wasn’t NEAR as fun as it sounds.)

Here is Emma making breakfast for herself. Aubrey was SO proud of her. “Mommy, her did it ALL by herself.” You don’t say. I think I’m going to start buying Cheerios and just put them directly in the trash can. That’s where they all end up anyway.

Need some soap in the bathtub? You don’t need someone over 2 feet tall…just see if you can scale the shower walls with wet feet. So you might get a black eye…no big deal.

“OH, I didn’t know y’all had a dog…” Yeah, that’s because we don’t. THIS is what Emma did when I took LITERALLY 3 minutes to check my e-mail and look at pictures, the day my nephew was born. LITERALLY THREE MINUTES! Can you imagine what she could have done with 5? I was actually too furious to enjoy the humor on this day. Zeb took the pics and cleaned up the mess while Emma stood in time out saying, ” I sorry. I didn’t mean to. It a ac-ci–dee–ent…” AN ACCIDENT? Get real, kid.

Once again Emma shows her exquisite taste by skipping over the WalMart makeup and going straight for the MAC eyeliner…

What? Like you’ve never drawn on a belt with a Sharpie!

In my own defense, so no one accuses me of not liking my own kid, Emma is a true blessing to me. I wouldn’t change her if I could (well, maybe the places she chooses to go potty and the time she almost burnt the kitchen down by turning the toaster oven on 500 degrees, then putting the kitchen chair back. I didn’t know until I saw black smoke BILLOWING out of the kitchen, but I digress.) I think her diligence in covering her own tracks shows true genius. I find it especially impressive that most of the things she gets into ARE already childproofed. I think she could have a bright future at someplace like Fisher Price. They need her to take their toys for a test drive before advertising them as indestructible…she broke their “kid friendly” DVD player in less than a week. If nothing else, she keeps me and my friends entertained with her antics!