Emma stuck her index finger in my face…
Emma: Momma smell dis.
Me: Um, why? Where has it been?
Emma: My booty.
Me: Um, pass. Go wash your hands.

I took the girls to Target today to get out of the house and let Emma (3) spend a little birthday money from her grandparents. As we were pulling out of the neighborhood. in complete silence, TOTALLY out of the blue, Emma yelled, “Wet’s get weady to wock-n-woll!!!”

I love this kid.

Lordy Mercy. I shoulda’ known when the hubster and I planned on watching a movie after the kids went to bed last night that the kids WOULDN’T go to bed. We played Whack-a-Mole for about two hours…get one down, sit down to watch the movie, another POPS up, repeat about 100 times.

At some point I went to put Sadie’s pacifier back in her mouth and noticed the light in the “big girls” room was on…AGAIN. I opened the door to turn off the light, and saw Aubrey lying in the bed while Emma did a VERY John-Travolta-Saturday-Night-Fever-dance on her NIGHT TABLE!
Me: NO MA’AM! You do NOT stand on the furniture, OR turn on the light, Get in the bed NOW! And go to sleep. This was your great-grandmother’s furniture and I don’t want you to get hurt climbing on it OR break something! Do you understand?
Emma: I sobby Momma. I lub to dance on the table.

Um, yes. We ALL know. And I’m PRETTY sure my grandmother just rolled over.

“Momma, why you got salad in you bwa?”

At bedtime a few nights ago, I was lying in Aubrey’s bed with Aubrey (4) and Emma (3), we were just saying our prayers and talking about our dreams, when Emma busted out with:
Momma, I hab one, two, free nuts! (She counted them out on her fingers.)
Aubrey began giggling uncontrollably.
Me: You have three, WHAT? ( I was NERVOUS, y’all. REALLY, REALLY nervous. Remember Sponge Bob Square Penis?)
Emma: NUTS Momma, I SAID (now screaming) I HAB FREE NUTS!
Aubrey: (can’t open her eyes and is now in the fetal position she is laughing so hard.)
Emma went running out of the room to tell her Daddy that she has “free nuts.”
Me: (really scared) Aubrey, what is a nut?
Aubrey: Sumpin’ a squirrel eats Momma!!! (HYSTERICAL laughter) Emma is SOOOO silly!
Me: (DEEEEEP cleansing breath) Yes she is.

I was washing Emma’s hair tonight and she asked:
Momma, why you wash my hai-ah?
Me: Because it’s dirty.
Emma: Oh, wike a cowboy’s?
Me: Um, yeah. Like a cowboy.

Emma and Aubrey are typical sisters. They love each other and on occasion they HATE each other. They have a tendency to get a little WWF from time to time and want to “wrassle” one another. It’s usually fine ’til one of them has had enough then the smack down really begins. One is playing and laughing and the other will be mad as a hornet and D-O-N-E!

A few days ago the girls were playing in the garage and Emma did something that didn’t meet with Aubrey’s approval, I have NO idea what because I was eating dinner. But I heard a “WHACK” then a scream, and Emma came running into the kitchen crying that “Aub-a-rey hit me, Momma!”
Me: I’m sorry, baby. Come here and let Mommy kiss it.
Emma: (Climbs into my lap.) She hut me Momma! (hurt)
Me: I know! You want me to throw her in the trash can? (Look, I’ve never done it, but they think it’s funny to talk about.,,)
Emma: (cries harder) NOOOOO, don’t frow her in da prash can, Momma…I WUB HER!!
Me: OH, honey, she hit you and you still love her?
Emma: Yeah, don’t frow her in da prash, just pank her Momma.

I can guarantee you, had the tables been turned, Aubrey would have voted for the trash can!