Nudge The Nest & Pray They Fly
After dinner tonight Aubrey (5) and Emma (3) were in the garage with their Daddy. Aubrey was eating a popsicle and Emma came running inside to tell Shuggie (her grandmother), “I axed Daddy for a popsicle and him said no!”
Shuggie: WHAT? Am I going to have to spank him?
Emma: Wellll, him’s not a bad boy. Him just won’t give me a popsicle.
Shuggie regulated. Emma got said popsicle.
While I was in NYC Emma and Shuggie had a lunchtime miscommunication of O’Bryant proportions…
Emma: Can I hab a peanut butta and jeddy sandlich?
Shuggie: Sure.
Shuggie started making the sandwich and Emma interrupted.
Emma: I want a hot sandlich Shuggie.
Shuggie: A hot peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I KNOW your Momma doesn’t cook a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
Emma: NO! A HOT ONE!
Shuggie: I don’t know what your saying baby, you’re going to have to show me.
Emma started marching into the laundry room towards her play-doh supplies.
Shuggie: We’re not doing play-doh right now, honey. It’s time to eat and I don’t know what you mean by a “hot sandwich” but I KNOW you’ve never had a hot peanut butter and jelly.
Emma spun around on her heels, balled her fists and through gritted teeth, GROWLED: I NOT TALKING ABOUT A HOT SANDLICH! I WANT A HOT SANDLICH!
Emma reached into the play-doh bucket and pulled out a giant heart-shaped cookie cutter, that I sometimes use to cut her sandwiches.
Shuggie: OOHHHHH! You want a HEART sandwich!
Emma sighed a big sigh of relief and said with a smile, “YEAH! A hot sandlich!”
Sadie has a new trick. You can ask her where her tongue is and she concentrates as hard as she can and sticks the tip of her tongue out between her lips. Then she looks at you like, “See what I did!” It is precious and adorable and needed to be captured on camera.
I got Shuggie to grab the camera and start clicking away while I cooed in Sadie’s face, “Where’s your tongue? Where is it? Show Momma your trick! Where’s your tongue?”
Emma came running up behind us and squealed, “IT’S IN HER MOUSE, SILLY GOOSE!”
I was getting in the bath tub tonight and Emma asked if she could, “Pwease, pwease get in you tub wif you, Momma?” And I couldn’t say no, so I let her. As I bent over to undress she reached up and smacked me in the booty to give me a Good Game. I laughed a little and she said with a finger pointed at me, “But don’t do dat to me Momma, I don’t wike it.”
Me: OK, I won’t.
Emma: And don’t go pee-pee on me eder cuz I don’t wub dat.
Glad she told me.
After a much needed nap this afternoon, I ran away, I mean…I…uh…I went to run a few errands without my kids. The Stomach Virus from Hell has kept me in this house for the last two weeks straight with very little adult interaction. My children cried when I left like I’d been MIA for the last two weeks instead of sitting right beside them on the couch in my pink Mickey Mouse pajama pants.
When I walked back in the door less than two hours later, Emma was sitting by the door in a trance. She popped up and said, “MOMMY! I been finkin about you!”
Tonight at bedtime I was lying in the girls’ room as Aubrey said her prayers:
Dear God, Thank you for the weather and for making it hot, and cold, and wet and dry. And making the lightning flash in the sky and for the weather. And thank you God for not flushing the earth. Amen.
Me: Emma, your turn.
Emma: Deah Gahd…hmph. No I not! I not pway.
Aubrey: Oooo, Emma you better pray. If you pray God will send you dreams. Good love dreams. You better do it.
Emma crossed her arms across her chest, scowled and stuck her tongue out at Aubrey.
Amen.
Emma just ran up to me and screamed, “HELP! My sthisther is twying to kill me!”