Aubrey learned how to shoot a BB gun today. I’m not sure who this news is the worst for: me, my neighbors or our new cat. (Please note the handy headband her Daddy fashioned out of rope. Classic.)

So, um…Aubrey and The Boy Next Door played in the mud this afternoon. I guess this is the downside to having a river in my backyard?

I can’t believe this is the first time this has happened. But I just got a phone call from Aubrey’s teacher telling me that Aubrey gave herself a haircut at school today. Aubrey has a head full of curls and recently it has gotten too thick to be held back by the tiny rubber bands we have. Everyday when she comes home from school, I can tell some sweet teacher has pulled her hair back again, but her hair is still in her face.

This morning I took the time to French braid her hair, in hopes of giving her sweet little hands some much needed, hair swiping relief.

Apparently she’d had all she could take today, and she just took out her safety scissors and lopped off the offending curls. Her fellow students ratted her out to the teacher, and once Aubrey realized she was in trouble, she refused to leave the bathroom.

Her teacher took her aside and asked her, “Aubrey, why did you cut your hair?”

“It wasth in my face and I JUST COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

Update: I just picked her up from school and I can’t even tell where she cut it. (Yay for me! Boo for you…I know you wanted pictures, you sicko.) Her teacher is laminating the offending curls to put in Aubrey’s journal at school. THAT is a good teacher.

We all know Aubrey thinks The Boy Next Door is a cutie-patootie, because he IS. This afternoon he and his little sister came over to play outside with us for a little while and there was so much flirting going on I could hardly keep a straight face.

The Boy Next Door climbed on top of our play set and jumped to the ground, provoking many Ooos and Ahhhs from my girls. After jumping from the unseemly height of 36 inches lost its shock factor, The Boy Next Door went to get his bicycle so he could show us his crazy bike skillz.
But once again, after the initial Ooohs and Ahhhs, the girls lost interest and began playing among themselves again. So, The Boy Next Door went totally primal and started talking about killing stuff.
TBND: I killed two ducks today. And one time I (warning, this is a bit graphic) ripped the heads off of 5 ducks with my bare hands. I had fur and blood all over my hands.

It worked.

Aubrey turned around in awe and asked, “How OLD are you?”

TBND: I’m six, and I do dangerous stuff.

I tried to put my kids to bed early tonight. Aubrey starts her new school in MS tomorrow and I wanted her to be well-rested. But Shuggie (my Momma) is here to see the new house, so the girls couldn’t resist getting up a few times to ask for water, and whatnot just to delay bedtime a bit.

After putting them back in bed for the third time, I was consoling a crying Emma, while Aubrey laid in her bed quietly. I kissed Emma and finally calmed her down and made my way to Aubrey’s bed. Her sheet was hanging off the foot of the bed and her comforter was about to fall off the side, so I whipped the covers off of her to remake her bed with her in it.

That’s when I saw it. A bulge in her panties that looked like she was wearing athletic support…
Me: What the heck…(I pulled her underwear down to see that she had hidden a yo-yo in her panties in hopes of keeping it from being confiscated due to our No Toys in the Bed at Bedtime rule.)
Aubrey was laughing hysterically as I took her yo-yo and several other toys she had hidden under the covers. (But thankfully NOT in her underpants.) She continued to cackle, so I had to ask, “Aubrey what else do you have in there?”

“Nothing!” She screamed, barely breathing she was laughing so hard, “Just my butt-hole!”

I had to leave the room before I laughed in her face and returned a few minutes later and told her sternly, “That’s not a very nice word.”

Actual artwork Aubrey brought home from school today.
Aubrey: That’s you, Momma, yelling “Have a good day, Aubrey! I love you!”
Me: Oh, that is so nice! What are those big round things?
Aubrey: Your hands.

Mm-hmmm.

We celebrated Aubrey’s Fifth Birthday with a Princess Pirate Party yesterday. It was our regular Sunday evening crowd of neighbors, friends and family. Our water castle got canceled after a few minutes due to thunder but all the kiddos had a great time anyway.

I made a VAT of homemade spaghetti, we opened presents and finally got to eat the “big giant married cake.” Aubrey was so excited to have all of her family here and very appreciative for her gifts. (Except for the princess coloring book that I got for her, that she REQUESTED. Guess it paled in comparison to her Easy Bake Oven and Benda-Roos!)

Here are a few pics:

Aubrey’s very favorite thing about her birthday? “Eating cake.”