Nudge The Nest & Pray They Fly
Before church the whole family was piled up on the couch watching the History Channel with Hubs. He was randomly spewing facts about the Army Corp of Engineers (as he is wont to do- random facts, that is.)
Hubs: Blah blah blah. Blahdy blahdy blah. Blah blah blah blah.
Aubrey: Daddy, you have some crazy ideas sometimes.
Hubs: You have some crazy ideas sometimes too.
Aubrey: Not like you. You have the craziest ideas.
A few weeks ago Aubrey was sitting in my mother’s lap telling her about x-rays. Apparently she had learned all about them in school and had a lot to say on the matter. After she finished her spiel, she paused and allowed Shuggie to oooh and ahhh over her wisdom.
Shuggie: Wow, Aubrey! You know a lot about x-rays!
Aubrey: Yeah. I’m smart as H-E-L.
Shuggie told me, “I wanted to correct her spelling.”
Is it wrong that this doesn’t fill me with shame?
Aubrey is home from school today with an upset stomach. After I realized her run to the bathroom was going to be more than a one time thing, I cut off her milk supply.
Aubrey: Can I have some more milk Momma?
Me: I don’t think so, it’ll make your tummy hurt worse.
Aubrey: Oh. So I can only have like… Sprite and… Popsicles?
Me: Yes.
Aubrey grinned from ear to ear, ducked her head so I wouldn’t see her smiling and said, “I sort of like being sick just a little bit Momma.”
My conversation with Aubrey after school today:
Me: Did you have a good day at school?
Aubrey: Yep. I had stink bombs coming out of my bottom all day though.
Me: Oh. Were you, um… embarrassed or anything? Did anyone hear it?
Aubrey: No, but I’m pretty sure William smelled it.
Aubrey: Momma, do skunks smell?
Me: Yes, they stink REALLY bad!
Aubrey: No! Do skunks SMELL?
Me: Yes.
Aubrey: NO! Can they smell their smell?
Me: You know…I don’t know. I’ve never thought about that. Let’s look it up and see.
Aubrey: Look up skunk DOT COM, Momma.
Me: *snickering* Okay….
*page full of links to buy mary-jah-wana pop up every where*
Me: Oopsie, that didn’t work. Here we go. Yes they can and they hate it!
(I read THIS PAGE to her.)
Aubrey: Huh! I didn’t know skunks smell.
I’m still in Alabama because our AC unit is busted and won’t be fixed until tomorrow, but Zeb and Aubrey went home so she could get to school. She had to miss the first two days and we didn’t want her to miss any more. Even though it is 97 degrees in my house, you don’t need to worry about the two of them. They are sleeping in our guest house, but before you get to thinking I’m all fancy-shmancy, I should make it clear that the guest house consists of a bed and a window unit. So there is AC, but if they need to pee they either have to go outside or hoof it into the house.
At any rate, Zeb sent me this picture of Aubrey this morning since I couldn’t be there. He took her shoe shopping yesterday for a new pair of kicks and she said this morning, that her new shoes made her feel, “like a new person.”
Tru dat, little girl. Tru dat.
I was driving in the car with Aubrey(6) and Emma(4) listening to the radio. I have no idea what song was playing because we have one radio station where I come from, but it was most definitely a woman singing.
This was the conversation in the backseat.
Emma: Dis is a gull singin’.
Aubrey: No it’s not! It’s a boy!
Emma: Uh-uh. It’s a gull!
Aubrey: Momma is this a girl or a boy?
Me: Sounds like a girl to me…
Aubrey: Well! Justin Beaver sounds like a girl.
*crickets chirping*