We were in the car on the way home from the gym and Aubrey(4)says:
Momma, Sadie(5 mos) has a belly button just like us, huh?
Me: Yep, she does. How’d she get it?
Aubrey: By God. He made her SOOOO special. Sadie is a very special woman to us.

Yesterday’s rainy day activities lead to me saying “CLEAN UP. Pick up your toys. NOW!” “If I have to pick up your markers ONE MORE TIME I’m going to throw them in the trash, do you hear me???” -about 100 times.

By yesterday afternoon, we had ALL had enough of each other. The kids were tired of me telling them to clean up and HEAVEN KNOWS, I was tired of saying it. I was in Aubrey’s bedroom with her, “helping” her to put her books back on her new book shelf The Best Hubby in the Universe just built.

Me: Aubrey pick up your books now! I’ve told you about 20 times, I’m not going to say it again. The next time I say it, I’m going to take ALL of your books out of your room again…remember that?
Aubrey: (growls at me, literally)
Me: I’m serious. You’d better get busy.
Aubrey: (throws her hands up in the air and ROLLS HER EYES) UGH! You are making me nuts!
Me: (giving her the “Momma-stink-eye” which caused her to flash back to the Hot Sauce Debacle of a few days ago…)
Aubrey:(smiles REALLY big) Hee–hee, I’m JUST kidding Momma…You make me GOOD nuts. I LOVE my new bookshelf SO much it makes me crazy nuts, like that Momma. It’s SO cute it’s nuts…hee–hee–hee.

Despite her deep love for catching frogs and lizards, Aubrey (4) is a “Girl’s Girl.” The child loves makeup and getting her nails done and will occassionally cry herself to sleep if she can’t sucker someone into “bassaging her back.”

When I get ready in the mornings…or I should say- the mornings I’m allowed by my children to take 3 minutes and slap makeup on my face, I usually have a crowd of little girls lined up and begging for makeup.

Aubrey: Momma, I want some of your scara.
Me: What?
Aubrey: Your scara.
Me: HUH?
Aubrey: YOUR SCARA!
Me: OH! MA-scara!
Aubrey: No I want Your-scara, not My-scara!!

As I’ve mentioned, Aubrey graduated from preschool today. She did a great job singing all her little songs and Momma was oh so proud. Our first school assembly consisted of her standing on stage and picking her nose for approximately 5 minutes in front of the entire school…and all their families. So really anything would have been an improvement.

I had one of my favorite boys in the whole world with me, (and one of Aubrey’s best friends,) Tristan, or TJ or PJ…depending on Aubrey’s mood. TJ is in LURVE with some electronics, the kid can make my Blackberry do things I can’t replicate using the Owner’s Manual. So while I was taking pictures, Zeb was taking video, TJ was standing in the middle of the aisle with all the parents leaning in get a good shot with my phone!

I held it together while they were singing but completely LOST it when the slide show started. I can remember MY preschool graduation (Shout Out to all you Christ United Methodist Kids!) How can my child be here already? It didn’t help me at all, that I was holding Sadie, my 4 month old who looks exactly like Aubrey did as a baby.

It made my memories of Aubrey’s babyhood seem more like flesh and blood. I could close my eyes and smell Sadie’s baby smell and be flooded with memories of Aubrey. All of those sleepless nights, all the crying, the disciplining, the laughing, the tickling, the chasing-it’s gone by so incredibly fast that sometimes when I’m holding Sadie I could swear it’s still Aubrey.

I tried to control my WEEPING, so as not to embarrass my newly dubbed “kindergartner.” After the slide show, Aubrey turned around in her seat and whispered to me, “You know how that made me feel Momma?”
“How?” I asked her as I wiped my eyes.
“Just a little bit sad.”
Me too baby girl, me too.

I was prepared for a really emotional day today. Aubrey (4) graduated from preschool (more on that later) but I was in a somber mood when I sat down to check my email this morning. Everyone was dressed and ready for school so I let the girls watch Sponge Bob (who I detest) until time to leave for school. I overheard Aubrey say: I hope he doesn’t have a penis.
*BRAKES SQUEALING! Blank stare*
Me: Aubrey, come here!
Aubrey walks towards me with a little sideways grin, “What?”
Me: Um, what did you say? (We have discussed body parts before this was RANDOM and we’re about to leave for school. I do NOT want to have this conversation with her teacher later!)
Aubrey: (giggling uncontrollably) Heehee, penis.
Me: Do you know what that is?
Aubrey: (actually snorts she’s laughing so hard) Yep, it’s a boy’s coo-coo.
Me: (Sigh, Lawd have mercy on my soul…) That’s right, but it’s private (Hello World Wide Web!) and we don’t talk about it at school.
Aubrey: (STILL snickering) OK Momma.

Dear God, PUH–LEEZ let us get through the last day of school!

I’m sitting here just working away. Aubrey (4) was playing with Sadie (4mos), Aubrey yelled from the living room floor:
MOMMA, Sadie needs a bath!
Me: Huh?
Aubrey: Sadie needs a bath, her face and neck smell like cheese!
Um, gross. I’m going to go bathe my baby. Now.

I tried to trace this line of conversation back to it’s origin but was totally unsuccessful. For some reason or another Aubrey and I ended up talking about guns….like I said, no idea where this came from.
Me: Guns are very dangerous and only adults can touch them.
Aubrey: Yeah just boys.
Me: NO. No kids. If you ever see a kid touching a gun you RUN and tell a grown up. (I was an ER nurse y’all, I’ve seen bad stuff.)
Aubrey: Yeah, just grown ups. Are guns more dangerous than bears?
Me: Yes. (I mean how likely is it she’s going to run into a grizzly in Mt Pleasant???) Guns are more dangerous than fire. (The fireman came to her school and since then she’s all about stop, dropping and rolling.)
Aubrey: Yeah, guns are more dangerous than bears on fire. Right, Momma?