Aubrey and Emma went to ballet class today. Aubrey has been before but today was Emma’s first class. At dinner tonight, Aubrey said, “Momma, at ballet class today no one was wearing anty panthies.”
Me: How do you know that?
Aubrey: Cause I didn’t see any sticking out of their leo-tarts.

During bath time tonight Aubrey asked some very pressing questions about her Daddy.
“Mommy, when you marry my Daddy, he have hairy armpits or did him shave them?”
Me: I think they were probably hairy.
Aubrey: Did everyone say, “Ewwww, GROSS! Him have hairy armpits?”
Me: Mmm, nope. I don’t think so, I don’t remember anybody saying that.
Aubrey: (VERY disappointed) Oh.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s out there, regardless if you shave your pits or not!

Aubrey has learned a new word…or so SHE thinks. The word is “useless” and I have figured out from the context in which she has used this word that she THINKS it means “fragile, precious and valuable.”

For example, “Momma I be really careful with my grandmudder’s plate…they are SOOOO useless.” and my personal favorite “Mommy, I will be so gentle with Sadie, she is so useless.”

We’ve had a few close calls in the choking department lately, which has lead to several discussions about what to do when you’re choking and never running when you have food in your mouth.

The girls were chewing gum AND running and Emma began to cough. I reminded them they were not supposed to run with anything in their mouths and Aubrey said, “Yeah, or my Mommy will have to do the BEEEEEE-HIND!”

Say who?

Aubrey rode with me to the airport to pick up my sister and her family yesterday.
Aubrey: Momma, who’s going to sit with me?
Me: Whoever you want to baby.
Aubrey: I think I want B. (her aunt)
Me: OK.
Aubrey: Uncle Blake gonna sit with you?
Me: Yep.
Aubrey: (REALLY concerned) Momma, if him asks you to marry him you just say NO WAY JOSE and keep driving!!

While I was cooking dinner on the grill for our house guests last night, Aubrey and Emma were inside with their aunt and uncle in baby heaven. They had “one girl baby and one boy baby” as Aubrey put it. And don’t you think for one second that child missed A THING. (If you will, a moment of silence for the Sponge Bob Square Penis Debacle of 2009…)

During Tucker’s very first diaper change in our house Aubrey said, in her very best four-year-old baby talk voice, “Ooooooh, look at his little penis! It’s soooo cute! Look at his cute little penis! It’s just a little circle! Boys have a penis! AND girls have a coo-coo! Oh isn’t it cute?”

“Momma, you make the best toast in the whole wide world ever!”

If you actually ask me for a recipe, I’ll be praying for you…