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Aubrey Said: Here’s Your Lollipop

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I walked back into the bathroom to get Aubrey and Emma out and in their pajamas. I came around the corner, just in time to see Aubrey propped up and hogging the en-tire bathtub, with Emma cramped up in one corner. Aubrey stuck her big toe out of the water in Emma’s face and said, “Here’s your lollipop…”

And yes, Emma leaned right on over and sucked on her sister’s big toe.

Lovely.

Me: Aubrey, where did you learn that?
Aubrey: Uh, um Aunt B when she was here…

Aunt B who is CONVENIENTLY not answering her phone….hmmm. Innerstin‘.

UPDATE: I called B to let her clear her good name. After hearing the above story her response started with, “WELLLLLL…”

Aubrey Said: Who Peed in My Bed?

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At nap time Aubrey usually sleeps in my bed and Emma sleeps in Aubrey’s bed. They can NOT sleep in the same room during daylight hours and somehow the novelty of sleeping in someone else’s bed helps them to stay in the bed.

Zeb was tucking the girls in tonight, sitting on the bed reading to them and doing the whole bedtime routine. He closed the book and told them to get into bed. Aubrey pulled her covers back, hopped in the bed and said, “HEY! Who peed in my bed?”
Zeb: EMMA, did you pee in Sissy’s bed?
Emma: Well, I fink it was just my cousins.

Her cousins…who live 600 miles away…and haven’t been in our house since January.

Aubrey Said: I Wanna Go to Africa

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This morning when Aubrey woke up I was online looking at a friends pictures from a trip to Africa…Timbuktu to be exact. Aubrey climbed in my lap as I looked at them and asked a million and one questions. Here are just a few of them:
Aubrey: Momma, is that Disney World?
Me: No, baby. It’s Africa.
Aubrey: Momma, why is everyone there tan?
Me: That’s the way God made them. Everyone doesn’t look like we do.
Aubrey: Oh. I want to be tan. I want my freckles to go away. How come those kids are naked Momma?
Me: Because all children in the world don’t have clothes like you do.
She was quiet for a few minutes until we got to some pictures of my friend Johanna riding a camel.
Aubrey: Renember the time WE went to Africa when I was a little girl?
Me: Honey, we’ve never been to Africa.
Aubrey: YES we did! Renember we saw the giraffe, and the lion and the REAL alligator!
Me: Baby, that wasn’t Africa. That was the Birmingham Zoo.
Aubrey: Oh.

Aubrey Said: Sing Me a Wuwa-bye

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After a long day of church, cooking out with neighbors and playing on a gigantic inflatable water slide- my big girls were pooped. I was tucking them in the bed and Aubrey, my almost kindergartner looked me in the eye and said in the sweetest little voice, “Momma, will you sing me a wuwa-bye?”
Sigh. My heart melted and I asked her what she wanted me to sing.
Aubrey: The Dumbo Song, and Momma, will you scratch my back.
There was no way I could refuse her, so I sang to her for a few minutes before I slid over to Emma’s bed to give her equal attention. After singing the chorus about three times, Aubrey raised her head from her pillow and said, “Momma…I fink it’s time for you to weave now.”

Aubrey Said: Mommy’s Work

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Aubrey(4) was touching my laptop this morning and I gently reprimanded her, “Honey, that is Mommy’s work and it’s very important to me. Please don’t touch the computer.”
Aubrey: I know Mommy, I won’t.
Me: Aubrey what is Mommy’s job? (I’ve gotten MANY hilarious responses in the past, including “putting my sister in timeout.”)
Aubrey: To write…
Me: To write what?
Aubrey: Um, Facebooks?

I am torn between being impressed she actually knows what I do…to being a little bit horrified that she KNOWS what I do…

Double Trouble

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Whilst I was trying to say my goodbyes to my sweet in-laws, Emma was in the bathtub washing the paint off of her body ONCE again. Aubrey decided to hop in the tub with her.

We have Elmo Fizzy Bathtub tablets, (the girls call them Vitamin Cs) which we use sparingly, they are fizzy colored bath salts which LIGHTLY tint the water. I use them mostly to entice the little monsters into the water when they aren’t egg-zactly in the mood, but occasionally just because they want to.

Emma was playing in the tub and said, “Momma, can I pwease hab a bitamin c?”
Me: Sure, just one.
She picked one and put it in the water and I went back to saying my goodbyes. In the meantime Aubrey went to the bathroom to get in the tub with her sister. After making one last trip to load the car, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came inside to say goodbye to Aubrey and Emma.
THIS is what we found…
Along with the entire jar which had been filled with water and was furiously bubbling and spewing black bubbles everywhere.

Me: AUBREY BLAIR!!!
Aubrey:We’re really sorry, Momma…

Sigh…I guess it’s Monday.

Aubrey Said: Isn’t that what YOU said?

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Uncle Zack is pretending to sleep while Aubrey and Emma climb all over him, terrorizing him. Zeb called Aubrey over and in a typical older brother move, whispered in Aubrey’s ear, “Go LICK his face.”

Aubrey ran over to a psuedo-sleeping Zack, reared back and slapped him as hard as she could with an open hand.

SMACK!

Zeb: Aubrey!
Aubrey: (completely stunned herself) Is that not what you said?