Aubrey decided AFTER I got in the car pool line this morning that she wanted me to walk her in to her classroom. It was too late to do anything about it and I told her she would have to walk by herself but the other teachers would help her get there.
Me: Aubrey, unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door, it’s time to get out.
Aubrey: I don’t wanna go to school. I want you to walk me.
(PLEASE keep in mind yesterday I INSISTED on walking her and she was totally put out with me because she could do it all by herself…”I KNOW how to follow the arrows, Momma!”)
Me: Aubrey, you have to get out of the car, there are cars behind us and other kids waiting to get out.
I got out of the car with my frizzy ponytail and practically still in my pjs and opened her door.

Aubrey: I won’t walk Momma. I won’t, I won’t take one ssstep.

I lifted her out, put her backpack on her back, gave her a kiss and got back in the car.

She stood stock still until I started driving at which point she started running beside the car…not in a pitiful sad kind of way, but a “HEY, wait! If you drive off you can’t see that I AM STILL STANDING here and NOT moving” kind of way. She was quickly busted by a watchful teacher and marched straight to her classroom.

Don’t worry about her, she looked back at me over her shoulder with an evil grin and waved.

Aubrey just got home from her first day of kindergarten and as we pulled into the driveway she said, “Momma, my legs are so tired I can’t walk one more step. Will you carry me?” I carried her and all of our stuff inside (it’s the first day, she can walk by herself tomorrow) and continued quizzing her about her day.

Aubrey: My teee–cher made me wear my shoes and socks ALL day. Her wouldn’t let me take them off!
Me: (Knowing how she likes to sleep in the buff, I was quite relieved that was all she tried to take off.)

She continued to tell us everything she did all day long, coloring, “learning the calender”, eating lunch in the lunchroom, eating a popsicle for snack time.
Me :Oh Aubrey, that sounds like so much fun! You get to do it again tomorrow!
Aubrey: TOMORROW? (Full volume whine!) I am SO tired, I don’t want to go back!!

Only thirteen more years to go….

I just took this whole circus to the doctor’s office. School starts tomorrow and all three kids have sinus infections, and I have developed some sort of narcolepsy that causes me to want to sleep 24 hours a day, and I thought we might need to check in to that. After seeing our favorite nurse practitioner, getting all six prescription and loading the car up to head home, Aubrey randomly asked, “Momma, how did Sadie get in your tummy?”

Does she REALLY think we’re going to talk about this the day before school starts??? I don’t think so…

Yesterday I was cleaning out a cooler from a neighborhood get together, I took out the extra sodas and beers and lined them up by my front door while I emptied the water out of the cooler. My plan was to immediately put the drinks away, but motherhood called, I got distracted and completely forgot about them.

Until late last night, after Zeb tucked Aubrey into bed. He was putting her in the bed and she said, “I would NEVER throw a beer bottle in the street like Emma did, Daddy.” According to the broken glass in the driveway, Emma’s completely confounded expression when asked if she had thrown a bottle AND Aubrey’s angst-filled confession the following morning- was a complete and total lie.

My question is this…what was it about a full glass bottle of beer that just screamed “water-balloon fight” to my five-year old? I guess next weekend she’ll be toilet papering yards and bashing in mailboxes with her new pink T-ball bat…

Aubrey’s new favorite thing to say after using the restroom: Ahhhhh, what a release!

I took my baby to real school this afternoon, to meet her kindergarten teacher. I left Emma and Sadie at home with Shuggie and made a big deal about going to Aubrey’s school, with just Aubrey.

We met her teacher Mrs. Wood and Aubrey got to pick out a stuffed animal out of a basket to bring back with her on her first day for a safari, which she is VERY excited about. Her first conversation with her teacher went something like this:

MW: What’s your name?
Aubrey: It starts wif an A. (Not sure if she wanted to show off her mad alphabet skillz or was trying to be a smart aleck by making the teacher guess what her name was.)
Me: Her name is Aubrey, and she is so excited about school. Aren’t you Aubrey?
Aubrey: Yeah, I got a kindergarten mat and everything. AND my sthisther got one, but hers not coming wif me. (Emma did indeed ask for a nap time mat and her Shuggie got her one, I am afraid she is going to be heartbroken when Aubrey leaves for school and she isn’t able to go “wif” her.)

We were leaving the school and saw Shuggie, Emma and Sadie rolling up in the double stroller. Shuggie: Aubrey, did you meet your teacher? Is she so nice?
Aubrey: YEAH! She gave me this stuffed animal and her name is Mrs. Log.
Me: Wood…her name is Mrs WOOD.
Aubrey: Huh?

As you may well know, my kids have had a stomach virus for the last month. It crept slowly through my household and lingered with each child for a week or longer, leaving me in my pink Mickey Mouse pajama pants for almost a month.

My mother, the often imitated but never duplicated, Shuggie was coming to town to keep my kids while me and The Hubster head off to NYC to meet with my agent and to have a little mini-vacay, sans children. She was going to leave early on Saturday morning in order to be here before Aubrey’s birthday on Sunday.

I was so excited that as I tucked the girls into bed on Friday night, I grabbed the phone to call Shuggie and see if she was all packed up and ready to go. (Keep in mind that I hadn’t slept soundly for almost a month, and The Hubster and I were both exhausted. The Hubster– who did more than his fair share of cleaning up hazardous waste for weeks on end, and got up in the middle of the night at least as much as I did. I know, he’s awesome and MINE, so watch it.)

Anywho–Shuggie answered the phone and gave me the best news of my entire life. She was less than five minutes from my house! *Cue Hallelujah Chorus and angels singing!* The girls and I opened the blinds and waited for her to pull in the driveway. As soon as Shuggie got in the house, she came in their room with us and knelt beside the bed to hug and kiss and talk to them.

As they were talking and squealing and giggling I noticed how FABULOUS my Momma looked, and that she had lost a considerable amount of weight since I had seen her last.
Me: MOMMA! You look so good! You’ve lost weight, you are so little!
Aubrey: That’s because she’s on her knees.