Zeb’s parents are in town for the weekend and this morning for breakfast, Pop Pete had a slice of leftover birthday cake.

Aubrey: HEY! That’s not fair! He’s eating cake!
Zeb: He’s old Aubrey, when you get old you can do whatever you want to, too.
Aubrey eyed Pop Pete.
A: How old ARE you anyway?
Pop Pete: Guess.
A: I don’t know. About a thousand.

Zeb’s mom chimed in, “How old do you think I am? I’m not as old as Pop Pete.”
Aubrey: About a hundred…

Bet they can’t wait to come back!

For the last week I have been planning for Emma’s 4th birthday. Last night, everyone else was in the bed and I was sitting in the kitchen with Aubrey as she finished her bedtime snack.

Me: You know…Emma’s birthday is in just a few days.
Aubrey: Yep. She’s gonna be FOUR! She’s almost as old as me!
(For 2 short months every year, the girls are “a year apart” and they always think Emma will eventually catch up with Aubrey. Bless their hearts.)
Me: I know! What do you think we should get her for her birthday?
Aubrey thoughtfully twirled a curl between her fingers for a moment before speaking.
Aubrey: Wellllll, we could get her, like, some toys that she could chew on because she always loves to chew on my dolls’ feet.
Me: (snickering) You want to get your sister CHEW TOYS for her birthday?
Aubrey nodded her head. “Yep, I think she’ll like it.”

Aubrey and Emma are supposed to be in the bed. Aubrey just came running into the room yelling, “MOMMA! I have to tell you something that Emma is doing that she is NOT supposed to do!”
Me: (sigh) What?
Aubrey: She’s eating pizza.
Me: In the bed?
Aubrey: NO! She sneaked into the kitchen and didn’t even tell me!
Me: I don’t really care, honey. If she’s still hungry, it’s fine.
Aubrey: MOM-MA! You HAVE to care! Her teef will get rusty!
Me: Fine. Tell her to brush her teeth when she gets done.

Tonight I asked my five-year-old what she wanted for dinner. Of course her knee-jerk reaction was, “chicken nuggets.”

After being informed that over processed chicken was off the table, (for tonight, anyway) Aubrey said, “Um how about like, 10 green beans, and those smushy potatoes and salmon…”

Me: You want green beans, twice baked potatoes and salmon?

Aubrey: Yeah. Is that OK?

I made her dinner (I make my potatoes 5lbs at a time, so everything was in the freezer and on the table in 30 minutes.) As she was eating she asked, “Momma, what is salmon?”

Me: Fish.
A: What does it look like?
Me: I’m not sure. We can look it up on the computer after we eat.
A: Good idea. Just type in SALMON.COM.

This morning Aubrey was sitting at the kitchen counter eating her waffle and she said suddenly, “Momma. I feel like there’s a party in my pants…”

Me: You WHAAT?
A: I feel like there’s a party in my pants. There is something hanging on my shorts and tickling me. I think they are having a party.

*blinks, too stunned to speak*

On our way from Mississippi to Alabama the other day I told Aubrey(5) and Emma (3) if they were good girls all day (we had lunch with friends, errands to run, followed by a photo shoot) they could have five bucks a piece to spend at Target.

I overheard Aubrey tell her sister, “Wellll, Emma…you can only have FOUR dollars because I want SIX!”

“Hey! Knuckles for the mad math skillz,” I said throwing a fist over the back of my seat for Aubrey to bump. “But you both get five.”

“Aw man,” Aubrey pouted.

Turns out they didn’t get one red cent…we didn’t even make it past the dollar bins at Target and I had to get my mother to take them back to the car because they were acting like the kids from Lord of the Flies.

Ah, Shuggie. Shuggie is the wonderfulness that is my Momma. She got up yesterday morning and surprised me and my whole family by showing up at my front door. (She thinks she got a wild hair but has no idea I was going to bed and waking up in the morning praying, “PLEASE LORD SEND HELP!”)

Today I picked Aubrey (5) up from school and we were just chatting away on our way home. Aubrey noticed the cloudless sky and commented, “Momma. Too-day is a great day for a sun tan…huh?”

“Yes it is, but you know too much sun isn’t good for you. It will make you have wrinkles.”

Aubrey didn’t even pause, “Like Shuggie?”