Robin's Chicks

Nudge The Nest & Pray They Fly

Working Mom: THIS Is How We Do It

by

This is for people who ask me, “How do you WORK from home? How do you write with three kids??”  Like this:

Important factors to note:

1) No makeup. (Don’t be jealous of the sexy.)

2) I’m wearing workout clothes and I haven’t been to the gym in over 10(ish) days.

3) I am sitting in my own driveway to use my wi-fi while Emma is at dance class because Sadie was taking her nap in her carseat. She woke up as I was taking this pic and she was NOT impressed.  If I get out of the car she will go bananas. She will not want to get back in her carseat and I will spend the entire time we are in the house telling her ‘No!” Or chasing her trying to get her BACK in the car to go get her sister. So I am writing in the car. In my driveway. #winning.

How do you “do it all”?

 

That’s What She Said- Carpool Edition

by

On the way to school:

Emma: MOMMA! We need to cwean out da woks under our pway house because it’s wike a witter box now!

Me: Huh?

Emma: Dere is cat poop, bird poop… all kinds of poop under dere.

Me: GROSS! We need to get Daddy to get all those rocks out and put some new ones in there.

Aubrey: We never play in there anyway.

Me: Well, Sadie and Annie do!

Aubrey: Yeah, I guess so. They don’t need to play in the cat (in unison with Emma) poop and bird poop…

Aubrey & Emma: JINX BUY ME A COKE!

They were giggling hysterically.

A&E: JINX BUY ME A COKE! JINX BUY ME A COKE!

They matched each other syllable for syllable.

Aubrey: Jinx, buy me a good day at school… (Y’all remember that my kids have NO idea what jinx actually means?)

Emma batted her eyelashes and leaned her head against Aubrey’s shoulder, “Jinx buy ME a great big sister!”

Aubrey: Awwwww! Sisters are better than cats.

Riiiiight.

Bonus story. Because I love you. And I’ve missed you.

Last night Emma said to Zebulicious, “Daddy, I meed to tell you a secwet.” (When she stops rolling her ‘l’s’ and ‘r’s’ I. Will. Cry.)

He leaned over and she leaned towards his ear. As she was whispering in his left ear, her tiny little hand snuck around to his right ear and she stuck her finger in his ear. He jumped.

“Emma! What the heck are you doing?”

“Cause I don’t want the secwets to sneak out!!”

No comment.

Aubrey Said: Is That Why You Have Raccoon Eyes?

by

Last night right after I blogged about going to jail to defend my baby’s right to wear cheap shoes she said, “Momma, are you sooooooo tired?”

Me: Yes.

Aubrey: Is that why you have raccoon eyes?

Little jerk. 

I’m rethinking serving hard time for her and her boots.

Ugg: Mean People Suck

by

 

Aubrey, my seven-year-old, came home from school yesterday and said, “I got bullied today by some big girls.” She’s very dramatic (GASP) so I wondered what this meant in her little head and I sat down to hear what happened.

A: These three girls who are older than me were making fun of my boots because they said they weren’t real.

My kids go to private school and wear uniforms. As soon as the temperature dips below 70 the girls all bust out their Uggs or, in our case, their Target Ugg knock-offs. And SORRY you little monsters but we don’t shell out $100 for shoes we are going to wear for 3 months then outgrow overnight. 

Me: Hmm. What did you say?

A: I said it didn’t matter. I like my shoes.

She is awesome. And I realize these are somebody else’s babies but I kinda want to *punch them in the face. 

Me: What did they say?
A: They kept making fun of me.

Me: So what did you do?

A: I said, “Welp. Guess I’m not gonna play with you guys anymore.” Then I jumped off the jungle gym and just walked away.

Me: I’m so proud of you. (For knowing how to make a powerful exit. I hope she huffed & tossed her hair as she stalked off.)

I realize on the Bully Scale of Mean this is like a 2 out of a 10 and if Aubrey wasn’t who she is that could have really hurt her feelings. (It may have. I remember being picked on in the second grade and even though I wasn’t really upset by it, I remember it to this day like it was yesterday.)

 Lucky for Aubrey, and for me, (AND for those kids AND their Mommas) she seems to care very little what people think of her.

But I realize this is JUST the beginning of the whole Mean Girls bidnass and I’m wondering how I’m going to stay out of jail.

Have your kids been bullied and how did you deal with it? Also will you bail me outta jail if I get arrested for gettin’ wild on the playground with a bunch of second graders? 

*I am not going to punch anyone in the face and neither are my kids. Unclench your butt cheeks.

Sadie Said: Because I’m The Mom

by


Yes. She. Did.

My two-year-old who fancies herself “Mom” to hordes (droves? flocks? herds?) of baby dolls, just threw the Mom Card in. My Face.

It all started after she gave her doll a “bath” then wanted to put lotion on her. I spent twenty minutes trying to explain to her why she couldn’t put baby lotion on a doll.

Sadie: Huh NEEDS it.
Me: No HUH doesn’t. Her skin can’t absorb it. She doesn’t EVEN HAVE skin, Sadie.
Sadie: YES HUH DOES.

Me: Here put some lotion on SADIE. (Refrains from saying, “She puts the lotion on her skin.” That would be weird.)
Sadie: Okay, Momma. Inna put it up.
Me: (Yay.) Good girl.

She took the lotion back to her bedroom and came back with diaper rash ointment.

No. No. Noooo.

Sadie: Momma, my baby meeds dis for huh booty.
Me: No she doesn’t.
Sadie: HUH DOES. Huh booty is all yucky Momma!
Me: No. She. Doesn’t. Sadie, it’s going to make a huge mess on your doll and she will be so dirty. (It’s a cloth doll so this is no wipe off the grease and go sitch. Her doll was going to be stained and goopy and probably never the same IF it survived the washing machine.)
Sadie: I’m gone do it cuz I’M DA MOMMA!!

Touché.

I simply cannot argue with that kind of logic.

What have your kids said lately that left you speechless?