Nudge The Nest & Pray They Fly
Just in case you were wondering, I am still going to be an online columnist for The Moultrie News. They are totally rebuilding their website and have had a few delays, it should be up in running in the next week or two and I will post the links and info as I get it!
Yesterday’s rainy day activities lead to me saying “CLEAN UP. Pick up your toys. NOW!” “If I have to pick up your markers ONE MORE TIME I’m going to throw them in the trash, do you hear me???” -about 100 times.
By yesterday afternoon, we had ALL had enough of each other. The kids were tired of me telling them to clean up and HEAVEN KNOWS, I was tired of saying it. I was in Aubrey’s bedroom with her, “helping” her to put her books back on her new book shelf The Best Hubby in the Universe just built.
Me: Aubrey pick up your books now! I’ve told you about 20 times, I’m not going to say it again. The next time I say it, I’m going to take ALL of your books out of your room again…remember that?
Aubrey: (growls at me, literally)
Me: I’m serious. You’d better get busy.
Aubrey: (throws her hands up in the air and ROLLS HER EYES) UGH! You are making me nuts!
Me: (giving her the “Momma-stink-eye” which caused her to flash back to the Hot Sauce Debacle of a few days ago…)
Aubrey:(smiles REALLY big) Hee–hee, I’m JUST kidding Momma…You make me GOOD nuts. I LOVE my new bookshelf SO much it makes me crazy nuts, like that Momma. It’s SO cute it’s nuts…hee–hee–hee.
Emma has learned a new phrase…poo-poo head. (Responsible party- you KNOW who you are.) This is almost a 4 letter word and definitely the worst word she knows. Our good friend TJ (4) has been hanging out with us a lot this weekend and whenever he and Aubrey get distracted and aren’t giving Emma enough attention she’ll scream at the top of her lungs, “POO-POO HEAD!”
Which leads to a chorus of whiny, nagging voices singing in unison, “Emma said poo-poo head!” (In the tattle-tale-tone-of-voice…you know the one.) We have tried time out, sending her to her room, ignoring her (by ‘we’ I mean me and the two 4 year-olds) and ostracizing her when she talks “ugly.” All to no avail.
Finally, at lunchtime today, Emma said “poo-poo head” one too many times. She wasn’t even calling anybody a name, she just said it for the shock factor. In a fit of desperation, I swept her off of her seat and on to the kitchen counter and did something I’d only heard about before…I grabbed a bottle of hot sauce. Aubrey elbowed TJ at the table and said, “Ohhhh, this ISN’T going to be cute!” I dabbed some hot sauce on my finger, pried her mouth open and put it on her tongue.
Emma’s crying was short lived but she was traumatized enough to tell me about 100 times:
“I not say poo-poo head anymore!”
I’m thinking if she’s repentant it doesn’t count, right?
Here’s the dealio: My dream is to be a published author. It’s something I’ve wanted since I was about 12-years-old.
Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading and for all the positive feedback!
Despite her deep love for catching frogs and lizards, Aubrey (4) is a “Girl’s Girl.” The child loves makeup and getting her nails done and will occassionally cry herself to sleep if she can’t sucker someone into “bassaging her back.”
When I get ready in the mornings…or I should say- the mornings I’m allowed by my children to take 3 minutes and slap makeup on my face, I usually have a crowd of little girls lined up and begging for makeup.
Aubrey: Momma, I want some of your scara.
Me: What?
Aubrey: Your scara.
Me: HUH?
Aubrey: YOUR SCARA!
Me: OH! MA-scara!
Aubrey: No I want Your-scara, not My-scara!!