Nudge The Nest & Pray They Fly
The latest update from The Moultrie News is that my first introductory column is to run THIS week and we are still waiting on the online columns due to a delay with their web design…I’ll keep you posted about the website, but if you live in Mt Pleasant, be sure to check the paper this week!!
At bedtime a few nights ago, I was lying in Aubrey’s bed with Aubrey (4) and Emma (3), we were just saying our prayers and talking about our dreams, when Emma busted out with:
Momma, I hab one, two, free nuts! (She counted them out on her fingers.)
Aubrey began giggling uncontrollably.
Me: You have three, WHAT? ( I was NERVOUS, y’all. REALLY, REALLY nervous. Remember Sponge Bob Square Penis?)
Emma: NUTS Momma, I SAID (now screaming) I HAB FREE NUTS!
Aubrey: (can’t open her eyes and is now in the fetal position she is laughing so hard.)
Emma went running out of the room to tell her Daddy that she has “free nuts.”
Me: (really scared) Aubrey, what is a nut?
Aubrey: Sumpin’ a squirrel eats Momma!!! (HYSTERICAL laughter) Emma is SOOOO silly!
Me: (DEEEEEP cleansing breath) Yes she is.
I was washing Emma’s hair tonight and she asked:
Momma, why you wash my hai-ah?
Me: Because it’s dirty.
Emma: Oh, wike a cowboy’s?
Me: Um, yeah. Like a cowboy.
I threw in the towel on breastfeeding this week. All you Nursing Nazi’s- SAVE. IT. I’ve read your books, I’ve been to your meetings (one of which was advertised as “Breastfeeding Support Group Meeting Every Tuesday at 1130am. Bring a sack lunch, drinks provided.” Say who?)
And I am O-FFICIALLY over it. Done. Finished. Finito. THE END.
The boob sweat was getting too excessive, plus my back has been killing me from lugging these things around aaaaaannnnd, I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for FIVE YEARS! That is one thousand, eight hundred and twenty five days people. I’m so accustomed to sleep deprivation I could be a CIA operative.
Sadie Plum is enjoying her formula immensely. Which is fab-a-lous…I actually took a bath this weekend without even stopping to consider if she was hungry or when I had fed her last. Usually she waits until I’m in the tub to decide she’s hungry. Ahhh, the joys of formula.
Although my boobs feel like they are full of gravel, I’m wearing three sports bras, an ACE bandage and smell slightly of Chinese stir-fry due to the cabbage leaves in my bra, I have no regrets. This was the right decision for me.
Emma got a package from her Grammy this week full of birthday goodies. There was a small bag of hair clips with tiny little butterflies and lady bugs on them. Emma is somewhat prone to destruction, thus resulting in the untimely death of a few of said butterflies. I rescued the rest and hid them for future use.
This evening Aubrey found one of the poor sad, broken little butterflies and said:
UH-OH! Who breaked this Momma?! Daddy didn’t break this, did he Momma?
Me: Nope.
Aubrey: YOU didn’t break this…did you Momma?
Me: Nope.
Aubrey: You know who’s REAAALLLLY good at breaking stuff? EMMA!
Good call.