Emma just penguin-walked through the den holding her crotch with both hands and chanting through gritted teeth, “YOU CAN MAKE IT…YOU CAN MAKE IT!”
Me: Emma, do you need to go potty?
Emma: Yip, I want you to show me, Momma. (Translation: I want to show YOU…)
Aubrey Said: Facebook
As usual I’m sitting at the computer working/not-working (aka Facebooking) while my kids play. Out of the clear blue sky Aubrey says, “Momma, who you send Facebooks to?”
Me:(OH-MY-LANTA! Stunned into silence…how does my four year old KNOW FB exists?) Uhh, um my friends I guess…
Aubrey: What-ev-er (complete with an eye-roll, no less.)
Lord help me, when this child hits her teens.
Momma Said
I spent the morning running errands sans children. It was quite fab-a-lous to be by myself and able to think without anyone whining in the back seat.
I spent several hours at the bookstore and library doing “research” (wink-wink) and got a little more than I bargained for at the library. I saw a woman leaving the library with an arm full of books in a sports bra and shorts and get this, flip-flops. She was built about like me, which means even if she WAS at the gym she should have been wearing a shirt. BUT, the flip-flops filled me with doubt…you don’t wear flops to the gym.
Now I’m not going to “front” if you will, I’ve been known to use the “I-just-left-the-gym-don’t-judge-me-card” before. I’ve been too lazy to put on real clothes and pretended I just left the gym, but I at least followed through by wearing running shoes and a baseball hat, and occasionally dousing my face with water to look like I’d been sweating. (OK, so I’ve never really taken it THAT far, but I did have the decency to wear a SHIRT, for crying out loud!)
After my adventure at the library I went to the post office and grocery store, where I was ONCE again called ma’am no less than eight times…I counted. I am OVER this, people. I have a problem being called ma’am by someone ten to fifteen years younger than me and I have a MAY-JAH problem letting a man over 70 carry my groceries to my car…double standard? Yes. Do I care? NO. Would it be too much to ask to let PawPaw run the register and be sweet and send the young whipper snappers out in the ninety degree heat to push buggies and unload groceries? I think NOT!
The Moultrie News
Click HERE to read today’s article in The Moultrie News!
Aubrey Said: Dinner
Me: Girls, your dinner is getting cold. Go sit down and eat.
Aubrey: (In a very high-pitched, I’m-better-than-you-voice) I am a Queen. And Queens don’t eat dinner.
Me: Whatever….
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