People stared as I walked into Walmart today. It was almost like they had never seen a baby taking a nap in a grocery buggy on a bed made of a cart cover, dirty cardigan sweaters and a tent formed from her mother’s raincoat and sheer ingenuity…
My Peeps: Zoe and Jim
Several weeks ago I was invited to go to brunch with some of my (deceased) grandparents’ dearest friends, Zoe and Jim, as they celebrated their 66th anniversary. My mother lives just down the street from the happy couple and as they have driven less, Shuggie has picked them up for errands and lunch on occasion. My mom always enjoys herself so much when she is with them that there was no way I was missing out!
I met my mother, Zoe and Jim at the restaurant and tried to restrain myself from asking a million questions at once. But I was dying to know how they had been happily married for 66 years and wanted to hear their entire life stories.
I started with, “How did you two meet?”
Zoe answered with a Southern voice as sweet and smooth as buttered molasses, “We went to high school togethah. His friend Tupper would call me and say “I want a date on Friday night and Jim wants one on Saturday!’”
I laughed.
Jim concentrated on his tea.
Zoe continued, “So Jim would come on Friday night and sit in the backseat and pout. And every time Tupper would pay me a compliment, Jim would pipe up and say, “He said that to Mary Sue last night!’”
“Well, he did. And there’s more than one way to skin a cat. It worked didn’t it?” Jim quipped. “Tupper was something else, one minute you’d be so mad you’d want to punch him in his teeth and the next he’d have you doubled over laughing.”
Zoe picked up where Jim paused, “People would ask Tupper what his daddy did for a living and…” she paused cutting her eyes to our server, an amputee with a mechanical hook on one arm, and spoke out of the corner of her mouth, “HE said, “He’s a one armed paper hanger!”
I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.
“When did you get married?” I asked.
They answered simultaneously. “When the ark landed,” Jim said, as Zoe answered, “1944,” and cut her eyes at Jim.
They were engaged for two years and married after Jim returned from his career as a naval fighter pilot in World War II. Jim said he was 42 years old when he felt God calling him to the ministry so they packed up and moved to Fort Worth, Texas from Birmingham, Alabama so he could attend, “The cemetery…oh, excuse me! I meant to say the seminary.”
“Did you pastor after that?” I asked as Jim concentrated on his French toast.
“I tried to,” he muttered.
Jim and I started to speak at the same time, “What is the secret to being happily married for so many years?” I asked. I began to apologize for speaking over him when Zoe reached to pour him another cup of apple cinnamon tea and said, “You’re supposed to be quiet now!”
She turned to me, “Keep God first. Love one another. And have a good sense of humor…”
I looked expectantly at Jim for his input, “God figured I needed all the help I could get.”
I’d go so far as to say that Zoe and Jim might be my most seasoned readers! A special thanks to them for their company, their wisdom and their humor and to their daughter Lanita, in Arizona, for brunch, and for calling her parents every time I post to read it to them.
Momma Said: Happiness
After spending some time going through Aubrey’s baby book with her a few weeks ago, and reading The Happiness Project, I was inspired to get my family photo albums up to date. (I haven’t printed pictures out since 2005, unless it was going directly into a frame.)
Aubrey’s face lit up as she looked at baby pictures and heard stories about herself. She asked me this afternoon as she flipped through the album, “Momma, when you had me did Emma just stay in your tummy?”
I wanted to cry. She truly didn’t remember a time without her sister. I explained as briefly as I could that Emma hasn’t always been around and relived with my girls some of our happiest memories as we looked through the photos.
Those pictures weren’t doing anyone any good on my computer, but printed out and put into an album we had a chance to remember.
I was so inspired by being able to generate our own happiness that I decided to put in a pool. (Ahem.) I sat outside with the girls and tried not to scream too loudly as Sadie got bounced all over the place and climbed up and down the slide with her sisters.
I made sure to take plenty of pictures, because five years from now I want us all to be able to remember this day as well.
Double Trouble: Carpoolin’ It
When The Husbands are out of town, Sister Wife and I like to car pool to run errands. It prevents us from having to drag our kids in and out of the car all day long and we can accomplish in less than two hours, what would have taken us all day alone.
Case in point. Today at Wally World, Sadie and Annie carpooled it while I shopped and Sister Wife picked up some pictures.
I’m pretty sure we’re geniuses.
Super (Silly) Mom: Jessica Bern
Jessica Bern is a mother, stand-up comedian, actress, blogger and writer (try to say that five times fast!) I was introduced to her through Anna Lefler and spent the better part of an afternoon and evening reading her blog, watching her web series and trying (somewhat successfully) not to pee on myself.
Her post about taking her daughter Phoebe out for lunch in New York City, was so hilarious and real, I couldn’t help but fall in love with both of them.
While Jessica is busy writing, filming and um, standing-up, she has also found time to speak at the internationally known BlogHer conference.
I know you will love her as much as I do!
What inspired you to start your webseries?
I had just gotten divorced after 14 years of being married to my husband and his mother. For some reason the extra doses of anti-depressants and powdered donuts weren’t doing enough to assuage my grief so I started to write these essays.
One night, while reading the Calendar section of the L.A. times, I came upon an ad for a café that did readings every Wednesday night. I knew the woman who ran the show from my days as a stand up. Apparently, she did not remember me very well as she booked me to perform right then and there. Anyway, the reception I received from the audience night after night was pretty amazing. Naturally, this inspired to continue to write more and more.
I initially tried to turn the essays into podcasts but many of my friends encouraged me to make them into videos instead. They seemed to think that my facial expressions were the reason people laughed at my stuff in the first place. Frankly, I thought it was because my writing bordered on the genius…ish but apparently, I was greatly mistaken.
How long have you been blogging and why did you start?
The series was not cheap to make although by Hollywood standards it cost me no more than the equivalent of one bran muffin at the Ivy. That being said, I was encouraged to start the blog to draw people in to watch the series, the idea being if they thought what I wrote was funny, then they’d want to watch Bernthis- oh and because writing is way cheaper than filming and gives me way more time to spend with my Oreos.
How do you write and film your webisodes?
I would write the essay and then would break each line down and try to match an image to that line. The image could be a photo or a person/people doing something. I hired a fantastic director/editor who has a great sense of humor and off we went.
I am FASCINATED by the world of stand-up comedy and really admire anyone who has the guts to do it. It’s like extreme writing, if something doesn’t work, I would think you know it immediately. How did you get involved with stand-up? Was it always a goal or something you just fell into?
The idea that one sets a goal to get up on a stage night after night and risk utter and total humiliation is not one I would put much stock in. However, the idea that one is so narcissistic that he/she believes they are so interesting and funny that a room full of people would pay money to listen to them talk, is something I would put A LOT of stock in, so much so, that I did it myself for nine years.
When I was young, I survived being “mean-girled” (we voted and decided this is a word so don’t email me) because of my humor and the ability to forge my mother’s signature so that I could avoid going to school at all. Growing up, I always thought I would be a lawyer. That did not happen as smoking pot, staying out late with your drunken friends and getting good grades are mutually exclusive. After college, I tried journalism but had no desire to spend the best years of my sex life in a small town working my way up to reporting on the goings on in a semi small town and then a small town and so and so on. I wanted to go back to New York City where I was from and just begin right there. Sadly, no one else in the world of on camera news or the New York Times seemed to share my vision. So, naturally, the next step was stand-up comedy. Why are you looking at me like that?
Can you tell us about your involvement with Blogher?
In 2008, it was recommended to me by a fellow blogger that I go to the conference, which I did. I didn’t know a soul besides her and I think we ran into each other for about 7 seconds the entire weekend. I had a blast, however, learned sooo much and knew I’d be back. The following year, I was a host of a Room of Your Own about humor writing along with several other very funny women.
This year, the people at BlogHer asked me, along with Anna Lefler and two other women, to speak on the subject of humor on their “main stage.” I was thrilled and very honored to be asked. I also recently was asked to write my first piece for the actual BlogHer.com website. Rita Arens, who is incredibly generous and a wonderful writer herself, was kind enough to think of me.
Overall, I think the women behind BlogHer are incredibly bright and inventive and I’m very pleased to be a part of their world.
How has being involved with BlogHer affected your career?
Well, I think that being a panelist is opening some doors for me, to be sure. Being a part of the Room of Your Own last year allowed me to be introduced to many bloggers that had never heard of me before so that was terrific. I guess in some ways, it really put me on the map.
What projects are you working on now?
I’m working on revising my series and making a few more of them. I’m also working on finding a brand that I believe in and where I can utilize my skills as a spokesperson, writer, video maker and comic to bring about greater awareness of the product through social media and my mother’s habit of shopping at Lord &Taylor.
Other than that, I’m hoping to keep my daughter away from the driver’s seat of a car until I’m dead and away from the hands of a man until I’m dead, dead.
Be sure to visit Jessica’s blog over on BernThis, and follow her on Twitter! Click for more information about BlogHer.
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