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Win a Signed Copy of the New Edition of Ketchup!

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Hello lovelies!!

St Martins is giving away FIVE signed copies of the brand new edition of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves! This edition is even prettier than the last AND includes a sneak peek into my next book Are You There God? It’s Me, Mommy. 

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If the link above doesn’t work you can cut and paste this link into your browser: http://us.macmillan.com/SMP/promo/KetchupIsaVegetableSweepstakes

Don’t forget you can pre-order books now, and if you REALLY love me, you can share this link with all of your internet friends and tell them how hilarious Ketchup is! Just share this link on any of your social media outlets:  http://www.robinschicks.com/books

My book tour is posted here, but if you would like to be added to my e-mail mailing lists for updates about my tour schedule, Ketchup and Are You There God– simply leave your e-mail address in the comments or email me at robinschicks(at)gmail.com with the subject: mailing list– no need to write anything else!

Thank you so much for your continued support and I’m looking forward to seeing so many of you on tour!

xo
Robin

Pre-order Ketchup NOW!!

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If you’re wondering where the heck I’ve been, I can tell you. I’ve been sitting on my couch for the last two months writing like it’s my job– cuz it is my job.

I know the whole publishing thing can be confusing for folks who don’t deal with it all the time, so here’s what happened.

November 2011

My agent and I self-published Ketchup is a Vegetable & Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves.

January 2012- August 2013

Busted my butt promoting Ketchup: going on book tour, to conferences and generally just pimping my book.

September 2013

Ketchup hit the NYTs, WSJ and USA Today bestsellers lists.

October 2013

Signed a two book deal with St Martin’s Press. They purchased Ketchup and my work in progress, Are You There God? It’s Me, Mommy

Hard copies of Ketchup disappear from the internet like a snitch on The Sopranos.

November 2013-March 2014

Ketchup gets spit-polished by copy editors at SMP and ready to be re-released. I make revisions on Ketchup and write like crazy to finish Are You There God. 

March 17, 2014

I will turn in my finished manuscript of Are You There God to SMP, then I’m driving to the beach with my husband to sit on the balcony and vegetate for a week.

April 1, 2014

Ketchup will hit shelves nationwide and be back in print!! This means no more selling books out of my Patty Peck Honda Odyssey and not having to keep up with my own invoices (GLORY to God!) AND it means it’s going to be SO MUCH easier for your friends to buy it!!

This is the same book that was previously published, with a little bit of a makeover and a couple of bonus essays in the back that will give you a peek at Are You There God? It’s Me, Mommy which is scheduled to be released early next year.

Here’s a link to all the retailers that will be carrying Ketchup. (You can also cut and paste this link into your browser window:  http://www.robinschicks.com/books)

If you REALLY want to help a sister out, PLEASE post this link all over the interwebz: http://www.robinschicks.com/books

Ketchup is available for pre-order RIGHT NOW and this is a really big deal for sales. So if you read Ketchup and loved it and would recommend it to all of your friends, give me a little internet lovin’ and share the link!

I’m going on book tour and I can’t wait to see so many of you!! Click here to see the entire tour schedule! 

(And THANK YOU so much for everything you have done to help me get here. My book never would’ve been successful without all of you cheering so loudly! xo –Robin)

Oops I Did it Again

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Things you shouldn’t talk about on Facebook if you are a Christian living in the Deep South who also is somewhat of a public figure: Gay people and Civil Rights.

It’s possible that I have once again alienated a large portion of my readership by not conforming to what is status quo around these parts.

The same bill that was passed in Arizona then vetoed by the governor is in the Mississippi Congress right now. I changed my profile picture to protest what I think is a violation of human rights.

I never knew rainbows made people so angry.

I never knew rainbows made people so angry.

Then the questions started coming.

“What’s this?”

Me: This is me not wanting to live in a state that would pass laws that would set us back 50 years. This is me wanting to be on the right side of history and publicly telling my gay friends that I love them and I think Jesus does too. And this is me saying I’ll never give my business to anyone who discriminates against people for their personal beliefs.

“Jesus, does love them… And we should too. But, he didn’t condone sin – he died for it. The Cross is our reminder of the extent of His love for us and His payment for what He declares sin. Standing up for what is right? What standard determines “right”, for the Christian, is God’s word. He defines right, not us. And His side is always the right side of history.”

Me: Yes that’s what the Old Testament says but Mark 12: 30-31 “Jesus said, ‘And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.No other commandment is greater than these.’”

In my personal opinion to mistreat someone because of the “sin” you see in their lives is NOT loving your neighbor as you love yourself unless you want people to start getting turned away from businesses for ANY semblance of sin in their lives. I’m not going to be the one that tosses that stone. My job is love people regardless of what I think about their life choices. The God I serve is big enough to deal with that on His own.

 And honestly, I’d rather God rebuke me for loving a sinner too much (is that really a thing) than rebuke me for neglecting “the least of these.” I’d rather err on the side of love.

I don’t get it. Honestly, I don’t. You have to know that I raised as a VERY conservative Christian. But where I was raised that came with a lot of other crap– a lot of leftover racism and hatred that was prettied up with a carefully chosen Scripture or two. There was a very prominent “separate but equal” viewpoint about African American people. I didn’t question it for several years even though it never felt right to me. I heard things like, “They are just different than we are.” “It’s okay to be friends with them but you just don’t want to marry one of them.”

The stance of so many Christians today about LGBT people reminds me so much of the racist views of the past and several months ago I decided I simply couldn’t be silent anymore.

Largely, my readership was very quiet about what I said– which in the South means they weren’t happy. My regulars who almost always comment on my posts were silent and I realized I’d probably lost a portion of my readers. But then I started getting emails from the gay community– heartbreaking, moving stories from real people who had been hurt by the church– cast out and told that they were too dirty, too unworthy for God. It broke my heart and made me more determined to publicly love them.

But now that I’ve stirred the pot, I’m ready to just go all in and say everything I want to say on the subject. Fact of the matter is– if I’ve lost readers over this issue, they’re going to be burning copies of Are You There God? It’s Me, Mommy to keep their feet warm at night.

So let’s just do this thang– if the church thinks homosexuals are sinners– what is the church doing to reach them? How many people who are sitting in church every Sunday have gay friends? How many people who think they are sinners are going out of their way to get to know them and LOVE them and show them God’s love?

Doesn’t the Bible say that it’s the goodness of God that draws man to repentance? (It does.) Why does the church think that telling them they are sinners is going to bring them in? Why aren’t churches AGGRESSIVELY pursuing them? Because if the church really believes that it’s a sin and a choice, shouldn’t that make LGBT the most unreached people group in the world? And the easiest to reach financially?  You don’t even need a passport!

I can read, I know what the Bible says about homosexuality I also know that it says we should stone women who aren’t virgins on their wedding nights. I am not God. I am not Jesus and it’s above my pay grade to think that I have the discernment to know somebody’s heart.

I believe the Bible, but I also believe that the God I love is too huge, too majestic and too all encompassing to be contained in between two leather covers. I cannot fathom the mind and the depths of God’s love for me, so it terrifies me to make a judgement on anyone else’s lifestyle. *I’m too focused on what an asshat I am from day to day.

*Someone shared this video from Momastery on my page last night and it was right on point.

I don’t understand the confusion between morality and civil rights.

Morality- what YOU believe to be right or wrong.

Civil rights- rights that protect individuals’ freedom from infringement by governments and private organizations, and ensure one’s ability to participate in the civil and political life of the state without discrimination or repression.

Do people really think anyone should be denied basic civil rights for being “immoral”?

Where does that bus stop?

Can morality be legislated?

For me, the bottom line is this– Jesus said in Matthew 25: 41-45,

“Then he will turn to the ‘goats,’ the ones on his left, and say, ‘Get out, worthless goats! You’re good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

I was hungry and you gave me no meal,

I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,

I was homeless and you gave me no bed,

I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,

Sick and in prison, and you never visited.’

“Then those ‘goats’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn’t help?’

“He will answer them, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.’

Post Dinner Cleanup Dance

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We dance while we clean because– WHY WOULD WE NOT?!

Also, it makes my kids think they are having fun whilst they are cleaning. Everybody was really into it tonight and I took a little a 15 second video for Instagram. Sadie didn’t feel like she got enough face time on camera so she made me film just her— because she’s Sadie.

Naturally, Aubrey and Emma were not going to be outdone and demanded their own dance solos. Aubrey was really getting into hers– so was I, which is why I almost choked to death when I realized that Sadie wasn’t just walking by the camera…

I’m posting this with Aubrey’s blessing. She ain’t ashamed of her dance moves– and that’s obvious.

 

Emma & John Currence Sittin’ in a Kitchen

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C-H-O-P-P-I-N-G…

So it went down like this:

Emma was sick for a month with asthma/upper respiratory virus.

Leaving her allergist’s office in Oxford, MS at lunch time, Emma requests a “fancy place,”  for lunch.

I agree because a) I like to eat and b) she’s been sick for a month without complaint.

We went to City Grocery where Emma charmed her way into the heart of our server, Jennifer, and eventually into the kitchen to get her first behind the scenes look at a professional kitchen.

I wrote my weekly column about the whole shebang. (Which was eventually picked up by my friends over at HuffPo.)

Someone in my newsfeed recognized Jennifer and put the link to the post on her wall.

Jennifer sent me a really sweet email.

Jennifer’s MOM sent me a really sweet email.

Jennifer’s sister went rogue and tweets the link to James Beard Award Winning Chef and owner of City Grocery, John Currence.

John Currence tweeted back:

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I tweeted back:

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He tweeted back:

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I explain everything that has happened to Emma. She loses her mind.

 

John emailed me to set up a time for us to come back and asked what foods Emma likes and dislikes. I called her into the room and typed as she talked:

Honest to God the kid will eat anything. She loves salads and was totally peeved today that there were no healthy choices at her school Valentine party and actually told her teacher, “You’d think somebody could at least bring fruit or something!!” 
 
She says she doesn’t like tomatoes, squash or zucchini, or spicy peppers. 
 
She loves: greens, turnip greens, onions (sauteed she says) chicken, sushi (couldn’t make this stuff up, I’m just taking notes), all fruit. She says steak is her favorite meat. Her eyes are glazing over the longer she talks about this. 
She said she’s always wondered about sweetbreads. (Are you crying yet?) 
She LOVES fish. 
 
She says “I just want to feel like a real chef in a real restaurant cooking for real food for lots of people.” (Guess this is her mission statement.) “Because I’ll feel like I’m really helping them.”
 
She says, “Ask him if we can do appetizers, an entree and dessert. And tell him I like LOTS of food and really fancy food.” 

Best Valentine’s Day, EVER.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oxford’s City Grocery with my Foodie Kid

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After battling The Stomach Virus of 2013 and emerging victorious, I have spent the last two weeks battling my seven-year-old’s asthma. We have driven all over the state of Mississippi, chasing her allergist from office to office like Thelma and Louise, minus the convertible.

Emma is an excellent patient and even in the middle of a coughing fit, red faced and hacking away, she’ll give you a thumbs up to let you know she’s hanging in there.

Last week we headed to Oxford, MS for a doctor’s appointment, afterwards I asked Emma, “Baby, what do you want for lunch? There’s a Chick-Fil-a here…”

“Can we go to a restaurant? Like someplace fancy?” She asked.

I like to eat good food, so this wasn’t really a hard sell but Baby Girl had been so sick and so sweet for so long, it was a done deal. We headed to the reknowned City Grocery on Oxford Square.

Emma fancies herself a foodie. Since she was old enough to stand on a stool beside me in the kitchen, she has been enthralled with the art of cooking. As I reach for spices to add to a recipe, I open them and let her smell them and tell her their names. We’ve done this for years, so I trust the child when she tells me my chili needs more cumin.

She is obsessed with cooking shows like Top Chef, Chopped and the Youtube hit “Nerdy Nummies.” For Christmas everything she asked for was related to cooking, she has her own basket of kitchen utensils in the kitchen and her very own cooking show on Youtube, “The Very Serious Cooking Show.” If you haven’t seen it, you are missing out.

Recently we were walking through Tuesday Morning, Emma had $20 of her own money to spend and instead of finding her on the toy aisle, I found her holding a full set of stainless steel flatware. She’s committed.

We were seated at City Grocery and Emma was pleased to have a “real” menu placed in front of her. You’ve never seen eyes roll until you’ve seen someone hand this kid a children’s menu. Emma and my mother looked over the menu trying to decide what they wanted. (I didn’t have to look: Shrimp & Grits, y’all.)

Shuggie, my mom, asked, “What do you think Emma?”

“I want the Grilled Shoulder Tender,” she answered.

I glanced at the menu:

Grilled Shoulder Tender

Grilled  teres major medallions, potato puree, fried brussel sprouts, charmoula 

Mom and I laughed.

“Do you even know what that is?” I asked.

“Nope, but I’m gonna try it.” She grinned.

Our waitress, Jennifer, came back for our orders and raised her eyebrows a little at Emma’s.

“I’m serious. The kid will eat anything,” I explained.

“Excuse me, where is the restroom?” Emma asked.

“Go straight back towards the kitchen then take a left,” Jennifer said. “Just don’t go in the kitchen!” She joked.

Emma’s eyes got huge and she could barely walk for staring back into that glorious vortex of steam, stainless steel and sweat.

I laughed, “You’d better watch her! That’d be a dream come true for her, the kid is crazy about food and cooking.”

Mom and I talked to Jennifer and told her about Emma’s love and appreciation for cooking, good food and about The Very Serious Cooking Show.

“I love it! So many kids just want chicken fingers and fries!” She said.

Emma wandered back to the table, still looking over her shoulder towards the kitchen and finally sat down. She sipped her water and tapped her fingers on the table, “What’s taking so long?”

She answered herself before I could say a word, “They’re probably working on the presentation,” she mused.

A few moments later Jennifer brought our entrees to the table and Emma’s eyes were bigger than her plate. She ate with glee and abandon, only stopping to mutter between bites, “Mmm, so much flavor. So juicy. Mmmm, this is amazing. Amazing. Mmmm, the flavors!”

We shared bites from each other’s plates and Emma almost cleaned hers.

“Can we get desert? My Shoulder Tender tank is full but my desert tank is still empty.”

I snickered as she told Jennifer, “We’re going to share the Chocolate Chess Pie.”

By “share,” she meant two bites for me, one bite for her grandmother and the rest of the bites for her.

As she was licking the chocolate syrup off the plate, Jennifer came back to the table, “I have a little surprise for you. I checked with the kitchen and they would love for you to come back and see them.”

Y’all.

You could’ve knocked that kid over with a feather.

“Really?! Really!” She squealed, shoveling the last bite of pie into her mouth. She wiped her face and leapt to her feet and I followed the two of them to the kitchen.

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Jennifer walked her down the line, explaining everyone’s jobs and pointing out the grill top where Eric had just cooked her Grilled Shoulder Tender, Emma leaned across the counter, gave him a thumbs up and said, “It wasAMAZING.”

“Who’s the Top Chef?” Emma asked.

“Well, Brian is in charge of lunch,” Jennifer explained.

Emma grinned from ear to ear as we left the kitchen. She thanked Jennifer and we headed back out into the cold with our bellies, and our hearts filled to the brim.

Where I’ve Been

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It ain’t a pretty picture, y’all.

We had a wonderful low key Christmas at home here in Greenwood, MS. Shuggie came to visit for a few days and the girls enjoyed playing with a few new things and being at home. Zeb used his remaing vacation days for the year to be at home with us and built the girls the most amazing sets of bunk beds you’ve ever seen in your life. If you follow me on Facebook, (And if you don’t, what’s the hold up? ) you have probably seen pics.

My sister-in-law was expecting her third child and since being great with child with two kids out of school for weeks is a situation I undertand, I offered to bring her kids to my house for a couple of days so she could lie in the bed, eat icecream and watch Netflix.

We met Gracie and Dubbie (heretofore known as Patient Zero) in Columbus, MS at a Chic-Fil-A and headed to my house for a few days. We had one and half days of cousin fun. All five girls squeezed into brand new bunks, chased Moses around the yard, used popcorn like confetti in my living room and played so hard that they passed out in seconds at night.

And then.

In the middle of the night, poor little three-year-old Dubbie (her nickname) began vomiting violently. My sweet, sweet, amazing, precious, handsome, manly man husband didn’t even wake me up. You read that right. He spent the entire night in the bathroom with our niece and cleaning up vomit. Early the next morning we packed everybody up and my mother drove Dubbie and Gracie home, in hopes that the virus wouldn’t spread to my family.

Yeah. That didn’t work.

Forty-eight hours later, Aubrey, my oldest threw up at the dinner table. I spent the night in the bed with her and in the wee hours was woken by the sounds of Zeb doing the same. Twelve hours later I turned green. The next 3-4 days are a blur. I literally can’t tell you anything that happened during that time frame other than I got up from the bed, walked to the bathroom, then got back in the bed. At one point I walked down the hall and glanced into the living room to see Zeb passed out on the couch, partially covered with a pink princess blanket.

Emma and Sadie were on mattresses and cushions all over the floor and scattered between them were multiple bowls, paper towels, tissues and half drunk cups of Gatorade. I briefly wondered what the heck was going on in that room but then I was back in the bed and unconscious.

The next week I spent washing every towel, washcloth, set of sheets in the house. Two of my besties, Forrest and Paul, lent me a carpet shampooer— having a friend with a carpet shampooer is better than having a friend with a boat or a pool. I shampooed every rug in the house. Twice.

The whole family was wiped out and writing a column was laughable. We were living on chicken broth and sips of Gatorade for a long while there.

But Sadie just told me she was going spelunking tomorrow and I have no idea really what that is, how she knows what that is and/or if she actually intends on going spelunking. So that should give me something to write about for next week. And the bright side? I met my 2014 resolution before the clock ever struck midnight on December 31st. That last 10 pounds? Gone.