Gots a little sumpin’ sumpin’ up over at Aiming Low today! Go check it out!
Sadie Sings: (Brace yourselves) My Ding-A-Ling
Can someone PUH-LEEZE tell me how I ended up with three daughters and yet STILL we have to discusses male parts on an almost weekly basis? It is, pardon the pun, nuts.
Zeb was out of town a few nights last week and every night when I put Sadie to bed she asked me to sing, “Da Ding-A-Wing song.” And I was all, “Whaaaaaaaa?”
So when Zeb came home, I was about to put Sadie to bed and I called him into the room and said, “What is she talking about? What is the Ding-A-Wing song?”
Zeb laughed. “You don’t have to sing it. She’s knows the whole song. Sadie, sing for Momma, ‘When I was a little bitty boy…'” Sadie didn’t miss a beat. She sang the first two verses of Chuck Berry’s “My Ding-A-Ling.”
When she finished I shook my head with tears streaming down my face (from shame or utter hilarity, I’m not yet sure) and asked him, “So are you proud of yourself?”
THIS is why men need a chaperone almost all of the time. I’m not sure if this was a ploy to get me to stop asking for help at bedtime, or what he considered appropriate lullaby material for his two-year-old daughter. This may explain why my five-year-old was trying to download T-Pain to my iPhone.
What has your husband done lately that made you question leaving him unsupervised with the kids?
(Men, I’m joking. Sort of. If my husband didn’t help me at bedtime, my kids and I would be UP a creek. Vive la Ding-A-Ling.)
Emma Said: I Wanted To Hold That Baby
Today I ran some errands with all three of my girls. My friend Alexandra and her baby boy, Vonte went with us. We drove all over town dropping off copies of Metro Christian Living at area businesses, we stopped for lunch and ran by the library to sign up for a summer reading program.
After we took Alexandra and Vonte home, Emma whined from the third row, “Momma, I weally wanted to hold Alexander!”
Aubrey snorted, “Alexan-DRA is the momma, NOT the baby!”
I giggled a little with the girls as Emma realized she just said she wanted to hold a grown-up.
“Yeah,” I said, “Vonte is the baby…”
“Huh?” Aubrey said, confused. “I thought his name was Cosco?”
“HONEY!! That was the BRAND of his car seat!!!” I yelled.
It is not safe to laugh as hard as I laughed while I was driving. Oh, I’m still laughing at those two.
Sadie Said: Don’t Look at Me 2.0
Oh. Em. GEEEEEE.
Y’all.
Sadie has been soooo two-years-old today. There was A Potty Incident that is worthy of another post entirely, but she got in a fight with my iPhone this afty and I thought I was going to die I laughed so hard.
This is what had happened… (Do not send me angry Grammar Nazi emails. I don’t care.)
Sadie: Momma, I pway game on you pone pweeze.
Me: Ok. *Forks it over*
Sadie: Momma, you hep me pay dat kitty cat peeze?
I pulled up Talking Tom. It’s an app with an animated cat that mimics everything you say in a high-pitched voice. THAT’S WHAT THE APP DOES. That is the entire point. It copies everything you say and says it back to you. Sadie has played this game one MILLION times. I handed her my phone.
Sadie: Hi, wittle kitty.
Talking Tom: *in a higher pitch* Hi, wittle kitty.
Sadie frowned. “NO! ‘TOP DAT!”
TT: *higher pitch* NO! ‘TOP DAT!
Sadie growled. “Mmmmmmmmmm-aaaaaaah!!!!”
TT growled back. “Mmmmmmmmmm-aaaaaaah!!!!”
Sadie stomped her fat little feet and jumped up and down. “Momma, HIM IS WOOKING AT ME!”
TT: Momma, HIM IS WOOKING AT ME!
I was wheezing on the couch I was laughing so hard.
Sadie blew a raspberry at my phone and yelled, “I DON’T WIKE YOU!” She dropped my phone on the coffee table and ran screaming out of the room.
I’m still laughing.
To read about Sadie being mad at the FREAKING MOON for looking at her, click HERE.
Weed Whacker Wheezie
Photo via Greg Adams Photography
I received an email from one of my readers today that was so hilarious, I begged to share it with y’all. Wheezie* agreed only if I would protect her identity. And being a Serious Journalist, I agreed. Here is *Wheezie’s story.
Little Johnny* and I were in his room and I had to “fluff.” It was loud, like shockingly loud. Little Johnny* gasped.
“Momma!! You hear dat weed whacker????” He asked.
I collapsed in laughter and he just kept saying “Dat weed whacker outside sooooo woud!!!” I did not correct him because I didn’t want everyone we see for the rest of the week to know that my fluffs sounds like landscaping equipment.
*Names changed to protect the flatulent.
Got a story to tell that you don’t want your name on?? Momma can keep a secret. Email me, Boo.
Just a few more hours before the Farris Wheel Pottery Giveaway ends!
Random Fact Wednesday
2: Number of wild animals caught at my house this week, not including actual human children. (One possum and one raccoon.)
1: The number of shots fired at my house this week.
8: Number of dominoes that fell out of Sadie’s bathing suit when I took it off of her in our driveway so she could pee in the yard and not in her carseat.
Red dye #7: The color of my chest after sitting poolside without sunscreen for approximately 27 minutes.
Brilliant: Emma’s smile tonight when I told her how important she is because she is the middle sister. (She’s the only one who knows how to be the big sister AND the little sister at the same time. That takes Skillz, yo.)
“Where’s that verse about the two women who get in a fight over that baby?”: What Aubrey said as she crawled into her bed and flipped through her Storybook Bible.
1:2.5- The mother to child ratio at the pool today.
“You know Momma, sometimes after you poop…” :How Aubrey started a conversation with me when she snuck into my room to snuggle after Emma went to sleep.
The only way to let a two-year-old eat watermelon:
5: The number of seconds it’s going to take me to fall asleep after I click “Publish.”
Got any random facts from your day??
Farris Wheel Pottery GIVEAWAY!
Oh have I got the CUTEST prize for one of you!! I just found out that my new friend Haley Farris makes THE cutest pottery in the world. Seriously.
When I saw the pics of her stuff I wanted one of everything but I had to start somewhere so I picked a cute little chicky spoon rest. Because I needed a spoon rest and it’s a CHICK! How could I resist?
Don’t die of cuteness, yet.
I emailed her immediately and told her I needed one of these ASAP and how much were they? Ten dollars. TEN DOLLARS, people! NOW you can die of cuteness and frugalness at the same time.
When I placed my order Haley gave me a chickie spoon rest to give to one of you! ARE YOU SO EXCITED? Sometimes you just need a little happy, and this spoon rest makes me happy every time I look at it.
I can’t wait to send it to one of you! Here’s what you’ve got to do to enter:
1) “Like” Farris Wheel Pottery on Facebook.
2)Leave a comment here and tell me that you did it!
3) For EXTRA entries you can leave a comment on ANY of my blog posts, even old ones BUT only one comment per person per post will count as an entry. (So don’t leave 30 comments on one post because it will only count one time.) And only comments left between NOW and the end of the contest will count!
Contest ends at midnight on Thursday June 30, 2011 and I’ll announce the winner on Friday! Take some time to look around on Hayley’s Facebook page, her stuff is gorgeous and her prices are just as amazing!
UPDATE: THE WINNER IS MELANIE TURNER!!
ALL WINNERS ARE CHOSEN BY RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR.
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