I’m not sure if you’ve heard about this new thing that Santa has been up to for the last few years. Apparently, he needed a little help keeping tabs on who was naughty and nice and started sending elves to kids’ houses to monitor their behavior 24/7. You may think the elves look like small stuffed dolls but you would be wrong, my friend.
No as legend tells it, these elves have magical powers. Every night while the children sleep, the little elves fly back to the North Pole to tattle to the Big Man about the kids to which they are assigned. But you know elves— so full of life, so full of mischief.
Those little elves are so busy that my Facebook feed is full of other people’s elves: taking a marshmallow bubble bath in the sink with Barbie, hanging the family’s underpants by the chimney instead of stockings, hanging upside day from the family Christmas tree.
Apparently, those little elves are SO busy that their behaviour is quite the hot topic around the lunch table at my girls’ school. Sadie, Aubrey & Emma come home everyday recounting the new adventures of their friends’ elves.
Which may explain why my kids are a bit disgruntled with Santa this year.
While he did send an elf to keep an eye on them, poor Chippy seems to be struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder. He’s listless throughout the day and while their friends’ elves get into all sorts of hijinks at night, Chippy tends to spend entirely too much time on Netflix bingeing on his favorite shows. He lays around the house, sipping on a glass of Merlot, eating gluten free chocolate chip cookies and wearing yesterday’s yoga pants.
Occasionally, Chippy makes a half-hearted attempt to climb the Christmas tree, but it’s just so much work.
Chippy recognizes the total insanity of making a mess in someone else’s house and is smart enough to know, if I was left to clean up after a night of elfish escapades, he could expect to be our dog’s new chew toy before I poured my first cup of coffee. I’m pretty sure what Chippy needs is a little vitamin D– A long vacation somewhere where the sands are white, the water is cool, the sun still knows how to shine and the drinks are served in coconuts— and if he wanted to take me with him, well, that’d be okay, too.
Our elf is Chippy too. He doesn’t do much either. He literally moves from shelf to shelf. He might end up on the tree. We don’t push it but it sure helps my 2 girls get out of bed in the am! Other than that, he’s pretty worthless. So, you are not alone. Those other moms are overachievers and it will come back to bite them! No offense to any of you overachievers!
I was going to try and avoid the elf on a shelf, but my husband’s friend owns a florist and she happened upon him in town one day….and yea I’m the proud owner of an elf on a shelf. All fine and good for my truckdriving mister who will be gone during the week and won’t have to contend with said elf. It is still on a shelf in the box right now. I told him, she’s too young to even understand what it is right now, we would start next year. A bit of a reprieve for now.
Lana recently posted..Not impressed at all…
I have effectively avoided the Elf because he creepy, yo. But yours looks pretty content. Almost too content. Put that man to work!
WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion recently posted..The Sister God Forgot to Give Me
So a week ago, my oldest begged to bring the elf back to life because years ago I packed it away after she touched the elf and said it was creepy. Now, older and comparing notes with her classmates, she wanted the elf to come back. So I pulled that elf out, we renamed it, and then put it on the shelf. The only thing is the elf forgot to move, and in the morning my eldest came screaming in my room that the elf had failed her. Luckily, we had zipped tied the fireplace to keep my toddler out of it. That was OBVIOUSLY the problem.
Your elf doesn’t have seasonal affect disorder. I am convinced the other elves are just manic with major personality disorders. Who would want an elf to destroy their houses on a regular basis?
Jenny recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Christmas Captured- Perfectly Imperfect
My elf Watchie has low elf-esteem, but maybe you’re right, maybe it’s seasonal affective disorder. You can read about Watchie’s elf-esteem issues here if you’re interested, sounds like we have a lot in common!
http://basementblogging.tumblr.com/post/68825706604/my-elf-on-a-shelf-has-low-elf-esteem