Rocky Mountain Oysters

So since Emma Jean has been recovering from her little skurgery, we’ve been having “Chopped” marathons. There are several seasons on “Neckflicks” and our family can’t get enough. We are mesmerized by the chopping, sauteing, sweating and whisking. Aside from America’s Funniest Videos, it’s the one show that the whole fam will sit down and watch together.

This weekend Emma and Aubrey were piled up on the couch watching “Chopped” and I happened to walk through the room, following a trail of Sadie’s discarded clothes– she was on outfit #11 for Saturday and outfits #1-10 were scattered around the house. I bent to pick over a handful of socks as Emma said, “Momma, do you know what Rocky Mountain Oysters are?”

Me: Yes. Gross.

Emma: That was one of their mystery ingredients! Have you ever eaten that? It’s bulls’ balls Momma! Did you know that?? Rocky Mountain Oysters are bulls’ balls!!

Aubrey snickered beside her.

Me: I know. Stop talking about it. I’m about to gag.

Emma: But did you know that before Momma? You already knew that Rocky Mountain Oysters are bulls’ balls??

Me: YES. Stop.

I picked up a few more articles of clothing as one of the “chefs” was interviewed.

Terrible TV Chef to the camera: I’d never heard of these before. I didn’t even know what Rocky Mountain Oysters WERE until I heard the other guys talking about testicles… (Sidebar: Maybe you should’ve watched a few episodes of Chopped to prepare yourself for this “cooking” show. If you are a “chef” on a show on The FOOD Network and you don’t know what Rocky Mountain Oysters are and my SEVEN-year-old does– spoiler alert– you’re gonna get Chopped. .)

Emma: MOMMA. Are testicles and balls the same thing?

Me (OMG): Yes.

Aubrey was wheezing and had tears rolling down her cheeks.

Emma: I didn’t know that. Did you know that Momma? Did you know that testicles and balls were the same thing??

Me: YES.

I ran out of the room at that point hoping the conversation was over. Approximately 60 seconds later Emma followed me to the kitchen.

Emma: Can I have your phone? I need to call Ella Grace? (her cousin)

Me: Sure, as soon as she gets out of church.

Emma had only taken two steps when my brain finally caught up– oh I BET she wanted to call somebody. Thank God for long winded preachers and Sunday morning lunch crowds. And my brother and sister-in-law said, “Amen.”