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Marriage Equality: I Can’t Be Switzerland Anymore

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My Facebook feed is worse than it is during football season right now — and if you live in the middle of SEC football, where weddings and funerals are planned around Game Day, that’s saying something. There is a lot of indignation, passion and red signs for equality. There are also a lot of red crosses, which oddly confuse me because I don’t know if those people are against same-sex marriage or just pro-Jesus or what?

jesus equality

 

I don’t want to write this post. I want to be Switzerland. I want to keep my mouth shut. I am a Christian in the Deep South. I make my living by writing funny stuff and making people laugh. But I made myself a promise last year: I promised that I wasn’t going to hold back anymore. That I wouldn’t let fear of what other people think of me, keep me from speaking my truth.

I don’t WANT to be controversial, but here is the thing: I have gay friends. Good friends. People I love. And if I was sitting at a table eating lunch with one of them and someone walked up to us and started saying things like, “You are disgusting. God is disgusted by you. You shouldn’t be able to be next of kin for your partner. You don’t deserve to be a parent. A child would be better off in foster care than being raised by you.”

If you were saying these things, out loud, to one of my friends? To their face?? I daresay that I would STAND up from the table, take my earrings off and tell you exactly where to step off.

I realized recently, as I sat in a restaurant writing earlier this week that I was doing exactly that: sitting idly by and letting people think that I agreed with them by not standing up for my friends.

I know this isn’t going to win me any cool points, especially in the South. In fact, it’s possible that I’ll alienate at least half of my regular readers, but I’m not about to sit at the table while people yell stuff at my friends and keep my mouth shut. Lately, I’ve found that I’m having a hard time making eye contact with my gay friends because of my silence.

Maybe you don’t have any gay friends. Maybe you don’t know anyone who lives a lifestyle a little different from yours. That lifestyle might not be the same as yours in one significant way, but I’m willing to bet my bootie and the booties of all the booties that MUCH of that person’s life IS the same as yours. Because, you know, it’s a human life.

They have a story, a family and struggles — just like you. And maybe, just maybe, if you got to know someone who is a little different from you, instead of labeling them, you’d start to see how beautiful, vulnerable and human they are, too.

I don’t believe same-sex marriages are a threat to my marriage. I believe same-sex couples can and do raise healthy, happy and beautiful children. Sometimes even better than heterosexual couples and INFINITELY better than the foster care system can.

And y’all may not know this, but I am a Bible thumper. I love Jesus and church and potluck dinners and prayer meetings and my gay friends. One of the scariest things I ever did as a writer was admit how much I love Jesus because I didn’t want my more liberal friends to assume that I hated them. I came out of the Jesus Closet in the last few months and promised myself and my readers that I wouldn’t hold back.

So here’s the thing: WHO CARES!? I get it. I know what the Bible says, and even if that’s what you believe WHY would you spend so much time fighting against something you disagree with instead of fighting FOR something you are passionate about?

Last time I checked there were still a ton of kids in this country and all over the world who are starving and orphaned. People are still homeless. There are people hurting in our communities, people who need to be loved unconditionally, who need a friend. And sadly, for the church, a lot of those people are in the gay community because the church as a whole has made it CLEAR that they aren’t welcome or wanted here unless they repent.

And all I’m saying is, I’m really glad that’s not how Jesus loves me.

We need to remind ourselves that this issue isn’t being put before the church. It’s being put before the Supreme Court and I, for one, am thankful that our country was founded in a way that how someone else feels or believes, doesn’t affect my right to live my life the way I choose.

“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” In my Bible that’s in red print ’cause Jesus said it. I want to be like Him.

 



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    • Ditto! Sometimes it gets very lonely being a progressive southerner…especially in Mississippi!

  2. Robin, I’m so proud of you for writing what you believe. You’re absolutely right, we’d never stand by and listen to someone insult our friends and family, why would you read it and not speak up? Most of us would speak up and defend our friends. It’s no different on your blog. I’m glad you’re my friend.
    Jen at PIWTPITT.com recently posted..New Zealand Mum Who Left Her Baby in the Car

  10. Great post and good for you for standing up and saying what you believe!! We can’t stay silent and watch injustices happen. It reminds me of that “First they came for…” poem. If we don’t speak up (or stand up and take off our earrings) for others, there won’t be anyone to stand up when they come for us.

    I am not an extremely religious person, but I’d like to think Jesus would be happy when two people find each other and decide to enter a committed relationship in which they love and support each other, are kind to one another and their friends and neighbors, provide a stable, loving home for children who they will teach to treat others as they would like to be treated regardless of their genders. Moreover, I think religion should have no bearing on the issue. The U.S. is not a theocracy. We have separation of church and state for a reason and all persons should be treated equally under the LAW.

    Ok, I’ll stop now and climb down of my soap box. Really just wanted to say thank you for posting!

  14. That’s the thing. This isn’t a CHURCH issue. We aren’t deciding who can and cannot attend this or that church. We are deciding a LEGAL issue I. A country that is NOT ruled by a church. That, some would say, was established for the SPECIFIC purpose of NOT being ruled by a church. So I don’t understand why the church has ANY say whatsoever in these issues!! This debate isn’t about whether or not God wants people to be married. God is not part of this equation. I obviously don’t get into fb fights about it bc I just don’t GET it. I don’t understand why it’s even n issue. I’m confused.
    Jennifer recently posted..Photo Dump

  15. You just scored big cool points in my book and I will totally hold your earrings if you hold mine. I am so tired of people thinking if you sandwich your hate in between bible verses that it’s not hate, it’s religion. No, it’s still hate. To say stuff like “Hate the sin, love the sinner” does not make the fact that you judge someone’s lifestyle a sin noble and accepting. It is still judgment and it is still hate. The only thing you can say to a gay person without being a hateful bigot is “I love you for who you are, I accept you for who you are.” I will now step down from my soapbox. Can I get my earrings back now?
    Lisa recently posted..Behind Closed Doors

    • Lisa I agree.

      When my partner and I got married here in California people actually said things like “hate the sin, but the love sinner”. I found that so incredibly hurtful and judgmental that they were deciding my marriage was a sin. I also didn’t appreciate being called a sinner. Some people need to learn their manners, it is not polite to go around calling people sinners and their loving, committed relationships a sin! Doesn’t the Bible say thou shall not judge?

      Thank you.
      Sally_K recently posted..Supreme Court, Prop 8, DOMA and My Marriage

  17. Great post. Well said. I think there are a lot more “bible thumpers” who think like you but are afraid to stand up.

  18. Thank you, thank you!!!!!!! MY facebbok feed is getting littered with horrible, bigotted comments and links too. As the Mother of a gay son I applaud you and your courage to post this. I can not understand why people feel so threatened???? HOW could 2 people marrying threaten them? My son goes to church every Sunday, volunteers at a food bank and kitchen and does countless other things. I am VERY proud of him. I appreciate your post, found it on Facebook!!!!:):) XO, pinky

  20. Thank you so much for writing this. I never really thought much about this subject at all, until my rainbow child came along. We knew when she was very young that she was gay and it is not an issue. It helped me understand that we all are born this way. Nothing worth doing ever gets done by sitting on your hands. Every generation is called on to stand up for other’s rights. love is love

    • Thank you, Robin, and thank you, Michele. Michele, I too, have a gay child, and I, too, knew from the time he was about 4 or 5 that he was gay. God made your daughter and my son and every other gay person. And if we are to be who God made us to be, then they should proudly be who they are; gay and all! It frustrates me to no end when ‘religious folks’ pray for gay people to come around, or get ‘back on track’ or whatever. They’re praying to the one that created them!! Our support and love of our children, just the way they are, gives them courage and strength to face the world. So thank you; it helps knowing I have company in my corner!

      Erin

  22. Robin, I have loved you and your “sweet, sweet spirit” since you were born. It is so gratifying and makes me so proud of you to see the woman you’ve become. You have said exactly all the things I’ve been thinking and haven’t said. I am going to do better because you’ve inspired me to do better! Love you much!

  23. Thank you for writing this. It is vital that we break down those stereotypes and really look at what is at the heart of the issue-no pun intended! And I had no idea about those pink crosses…guess none of my FB friends are sporting them!
    Jennifer Wolfe recently posted..Feeling Depleted

  24. A small voice from Kansas (we won’t even begin to talk about the stupidity coming from MY state government) says, “THANK YOU FOR THIS!”

  25. Sounds so much like my post today that probably pissed half my family off.. my favorite part was i’m really glad that’s not how jesus loves me, rock on that was awesome :] <3

  27. Thank you for this. I dont think enough people realize that you can be a faithful child of God and still support your gay neighbor’s marriage. They do not have to contradict eachother. They can be in harmony. You and I are proof. Again, thank you.

  29. Any marriage that does not lead to the “creation of children” is condemned. Which means that because I had a hysterectomy, evidently, my marriage to my husband is, well, not a marriage. You know, once upon a time, “gay” meant happy. My gay friends have done nothing but bring me joy. I can’t wait to start being able to attend their weddings, and share their joy with everyone. Truly, God loves us all, and I think that in joy and love there is peace. God wants peace. In derision, fear, and hatred, we only feed the devil.

  30. I am not a christian but I am very spiritual and this post made me smile so so so so much. I have very close family members who are gay and a lot of friends who are as well and I live in a supremely catholic neighborhood so I get a lot of flack and I tried to keep quiet for a while. Didn’t work. I have much too big a mouth for that. So now I shout it from the rooftops! Thank you for writing this post it made my day :)

  33. I think you’d be amazed at just how many “southerners” agree with gay marriage. Many people who consider themselves conservative (like me and many of my friends) are socially center or left-leaning. The whole country forgets about people like us — and we are a large majority. We’ve gone to school with other races, have gay family and friends, we get along with everybody. (we just want fiscal responsibility and yes, our 2nd Amendment right) It’s just the extremes on each side of the argument that you hear over everything else. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, married for 15. We have three kids. We have not once turned to each other and said “this gay marriage is ruining our straight marriage!” My husband cousin and her companion are some of the most important people in our lives, they’re good to each other and are very strong in their faith. And it makes me mad that a person here in Texas can get married eight (yes, 8) times with two of the marriages a year and two months apart from each other, but this couple who has been devoted to each other for over a decade can’t do it once.

    And on a side note, as a court reporter for our area CPS court for years, I can tell you that not once did a gay couple get their kids taken away for abuse, neglect or any other reason for that matter. It’s always been the straights. You know why? Because there are no “accidental” babies in gay families. Each child brought into these families was worked for, and are truly wanted. And I cannot wait for the cousins to have a child. They are going to make great mothers. Both of them.

    • I love the CPS court reporters comment. Gay couples kids are fought for and wanted, not accidents. Lets support them.

  34. As a proud Christian AND a southerner I have to say I agree with most all of this post. Everything except where you intimate that the bigots are only in the south. Sadly, they are everywhere just as there are loving and lovely people in the south who agree with this post. So if we’re making a stand against unfair categorization and to leave the judgment to the One who is qualified to make it, then lets leave other disparaging remarks and judgmental spirits out of everything. Thanks for writing this.

  35. Well, there are a lot of people I don’t love and I’m not gonna start loving them cuz Jesus said I should, but I have gay friends and I like them so much it makes me question a lot of the values I was brought up with. And I think you have to have kind of a lot of life miles under your belt before you can be sure what your very own values really are. And I really can’t see someone legislating personal value systems or anyone shoving their’s down your throat. But that’s just me.
    Virginia Llorca recently posted..MY BEST BLOG SO FAR

  38. Thank you. This was beautifully stated. I agree whole heartedly. Love is love, and how can love be wrong? Even more so, why would The United States of America be restricting something based on a religious belief!? That is not what our country is about.

    I often struggle with my own blog in stating some of the things that I believe strongly. Especially since I am friends with many people of many different beliefs and while I don’t agree with all of them I do respect them. As I am writing this I am just realizing that since I am friends with them and I respect their differing points of view, if they are good friends to me they should be able to do the same! AmIRight?

    Thank you, great blog. I look forward to following you!
    Momma O recently posted..Ready for Summer?

  41. Thank you, thank you! I am a mom to four boys, I am married to a woman and am also a foster parent. You couldn’t have said it any better.

  43. Amen and amen again. The commandment above all others was to LOVE. It doesn’t affect my marriage at all if my gay friends are able to marry each other. And making it legal for them to have the right to marry doesn’t force any church to marry them. Thanks for speaking out on behalf of Southerners who love Jesus but believe in equality in human rights.
    Leslie recently posted..Zona’s Butterflies

  45. It’s like you read my diary :) I like to say that Jesus told us to love and that is what I do. I love. I’ll be judged one day for my own life, but until then I am going to love everyone like Jesus loves me.

  46. I was sitting in a Mexican restaurant while reading this…tears running down my face while I shared this with my partner and a friend…thanks for being you Robin!

  48. Thank you Robin. You put all of my feelings in such eloquent and perfect words. I am a Christian and I am pro choice in every aspect because my God has always promised us that we have the ability and right to CHOOSE and without choice we can not be HIS children. Once again, thank you.

  50. I, too, felt like I had to “come out” about where I stand on the issue. It was a little bit of a struggle because so many people I know are so conservative. But I felt like it was the right thing to do. I am SO OVER people hiding homophobia behind their so-called Christianity. I always go back to the WWJD thing. Jesus would love you regardless of your sexual orientation. So why shouldn’t I? Your gay and lesbian friends are lucky to have you. Great post.
    Meredith recently posted..The Post in Which I Get Controversial

  51. Thank you! It’s a blessing to see a Christian actually trying to be Christ-like instead of full of hate. There is hope for all of us!

    And I’m totally with you on gay marriage. Thanks for this post!

  52. Robin and friends, I too am a southern girl and a Christian and I must stand for what is right. Marriage was established by God (not governments) and in His word is a very clear description of what marriage is: the union of a man and a woman. It also condemns same sex marriage and the city of Sodom was destroyed because of such. God does love us dearly (everyone of us) and He allows us to choose whether or not we follow Him but there is NO choice in what is or is not sin – that is clearly defined. I am sure some if not most of you would be outraged if the decision before the Supreme Court today was whether tax advantages would be given to a pedophile who wanted to be married to a child, or to a man who wanted more than one tax credit because he was married to multiple women. I mean that would be their choice right? Our society is little by little watering down what is acceptable – in my lifetime alone (and I am only 50) divorce – there was only one person in my class with divorced parents, what is on tv – go back and watch a few oldies, what is acceptable clothing – there are clothes on the rack for 8 year olds that is not appropriate for most teenagers, the number of unwed teenagers giving birth, use of drugs, use of guns for school shootings – there was a shotgun in the back window of just about every truck in the parking lot at my redneck high school and I don’t remember one accident/shooting, etc, etc. I too have friends that are gay and I love them but no, I can not agree with or stand up for their choice of lifestyle. Thanks for allowing me to stand for what I believe is right and express that opinion. Love you all.

    • The same arguments were made against interracial couples not so long ago. Being gay is not a choice. Just like you did not choose to be straight. Being gay is not a deviant behavior. Being gay does not hurt children. Many churches and religions will not accept gay marriage, and that is their right. Many people do not understand and that is their decision. But this is the USA and we don’t have to follow any church or religious doctrine. I respect your right to your beliefs. I am happy that you have gay friends whom you love. Please talk to them more and try to understand that they are are not diseased or mentally ill or depraved. Please look into their hearts and know that God made them just as beautifully as he made you. Much love to you too.

    • CJ I appreciate you respectfully expressing your opinion without turning it into a personal attack. Thank you!!!

    • I echo Robin. Debate is so much more productive when people approach it from a place of respect. I love rational people :) CJ, I agree with many of your points. Our society is watering down a lot of what is acceptable. Some of it is unconscionable; some of it isn’t worth the effort to oppose. However, I don’t put gay marriage into this category; I put it in the category of human rights. Allowing gay couples to marry is certainly different than allowing a pedophile to marry a child. Consenting gay adults making their union legal hurts no one. It doesn’t threaten my marriage. It doesn’t threaten my children. It doesn’t threaten the health or well-being of anyone, and it really doesn’t affect anyone except for that gay couple. But a pedophile marrying a child is a situation of power inequality, of abuse, and an act born not from love but from sickness. In terms of a man marrying multiple women: do I agree with that? No. Would I live my life that way? No. But if all adults are consenting and love each other, does it matter? No. That’s just the way I see it. No one is asking religious organizations to change their stance on gay marriage right now. What we are asking that gay and lesbian couples are allowed to make their unions legal. If God does indeed feel that who they are and what they do is sinful, that is between them and God. It is not for me to condemn, just as it is not for me to condemn anyone’s sins, for I myself am a sinner. I feel that we as humans can never really begin to understand God’s purpose for the way things are in the world. All I know is that He would not want me to actively try to make another’s life difficult simply because he or she lives their life differently than me.
      Kelly recently posted..My Minivan Isn’t Cool, But My Music Video Is

    • You need to get your facts straight. Marriage of some form or another is present in all human cultures throughout history… cultures that have absolutely nothing to do with your Judeo-Christian beliefs. I think one of the greatest strengths of the US is how we are composed of many different cultures, and we should not let one group try to impose their values on everybody else.

  53. I am a huge “Bible thumper” 😛 and I am amening you and nodding so hard my head just might fall off. I know we don’t know each other, but I love you sister. I practically stalk you online and I quote you quite often. Thank you for not holding back!

  54. CJ you left out the most important part. We’re not talking about marriage in the eyes of the church- we’re talking about marriage in the eyes of the law. Pedophiles are not allowed to marry children because having sex with children is ILLEGAL. Whereas older gentleman having sex with ‘underage girls’ is NOT a sin. I’m sure you don’t need me to cite the dozens if biblical references of this happening. I understand your stance, an I’m one of the few of my generation who do believe that homosexuality is a sin, so it’s not that. It’s just the basic fact that this is a LEGAL issue. The government has NO RIGHT to make laws based on a specific religion. And please, no hate mail about my saying it’s a sin. I’m a sinner just like all y’all and I believe that no sin is any worse than any other. In this country, we have the right to practice any religion, and we’re supposed to be protected from having any religion forced upon us. No one is asking God to recognize marriage. We are demanding that our GOVERNMENT recognize marriage. There is a HUGE difference.

  55. And also, as far as sins go, I’m wearing a sweater made of two different materials (sin) I had sex before I got married (and my government still recognizes my marriage) (sin) I lie to my children on an hourly basis (sin) and last week I had sex on my period (sin). I also eat bacon and shellfish (sin). And still, all these sins later, and the government doesn’t give a shit. So seriously. This has to stop. I wasn’t even that fired up about it before, but now I’m hot.

  57. I hope you don’t mind that I shared your post on my wall. Thank you for being a TRUE Christian by espousing that LOVE is the message, not intolerance, judgment and condemnation.

  59. AMEN, Robin! It really is this simple: God IS love. God WANTS us to love each other. The government has no business trying to regulate that or get in the way of two people who want to commit to each other out of that love. Thanks for standing up and representing Christians who can read between the lines and understand the true meaning of the gospel. I would sit at your lunch table any day (without my earrings just in case we need to throw down.)
    Leslie @ The Bearded Iris recently posted..Does this sobriety make my butt look big?

  61. Thanks for writing this and taking a stand, Robin. It makes me proud to call you a friend. I live in the South (as an Indian immigrant, married to a Wisconsin boy, mother of first generation Americans…there’s a lot to the dynamics of my life), and too few people who speak with a voice of reason speak up. If more people like you spoke up, the South could start to debunk some of those atrocious stereotypes.
    IlinaP recently posted..Victoria’s Secret Should Be Kept Under Wraps

  64. YAY ROBIN!!!! I stayed in Switzerland until recently too, and it’s nice to see someone who understands how a Christian can support equality across the board! Love ya Girl!

  65. And I thought I loved you because you reminded me that ketchup IS in fact a veggie. Ha! Now I love you even more. And I’m your Jewish girl in the Southern world friend who is going to find you and hug you at BBC Charlotte, whether you like it or not. Love these words. So very much.
    Andrea recently posted..I’m a StrongMom. Are you?

  67. I agree with alot of what you are saying except for you are taking the bible term literaly yes Jesus wants us to love one another that means to love not be sexually involved with one another. Love to respect one another, care for one another, have best interest for one another. Bottom line is God has rules for us to follow we are not following his rules. Rather that be stealing, killing, adultery, etc, etc, Our Nation is turning away from God and living for ourselves rather for him. We all will have to face God one day and be judged for our doings.

  70. I choose to NOT leave out parts of the Bible that I don’t agree with (ie. certain sins). We are to take the whole counsel of God. Yes, we are to love others as the 2nd greatest command behind loving God per the New Testament. However, that doesn’t mean we omit living in accordance to the rest of God’s Word. How do you deal with God’s standard on this? You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination. – Lev. 18:22. So here, God is calling it an abomination. Are you taking issue with God based on your article? The way I relate to my wonderful friends and family who happen to practice the gay lifestyle is to continue to love them without embracing the sin that they are perpetuating. They know where God and I stand on the topic. If they are to be validated as a person because of their sexuality, then I see that as an issue. Our sexuality doesn’t make us who we are in our hearts. They want us to accept it so that they don’t have to deal with the sin. Most don’t even want to call it sin. God didn’t make us that way. Anyway, I am choosing to stand on the Word and not follow the social mob. That doesn’t mean I don’t love the people in my life. In fact, I think it means I love them more because I care enough to want God’s best for them, instead of watching them continue in something that God has deemed destructive. I’m choosing God’s way instead of my way. We are to protect from the stone throwing, as Jesus did, but we are also to help them “go and sin no more”. Many are forgetting that last part.

    • Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t claim to know the mind of God but if it comes down to it, I’d rather look Jesus in the eye and have Him say, “I can NOT believe the way you loved those dirty rotten homosexuals,” than to look at me and say, “How could you have been so harsh and cold to my children? Depart from me.”

      I understand where you are coming from and I don’t want to fight or argue with anyone. So I’ll pray for you and you pray for me and we’ll call it even. Deal?

      • Who says it is harsh and cold to address any sin issue in love? Jesus addresses sin. So, I guess I’m just not following the love yet ignore sin concept. Scripture says it’s both. Should we beat people over the head with it? Obviously not. But, to totally ignore sin in our lives doesn’t align with the answers seen in Scripture. Granted, as believers, we are really only to call out other believers in gentleness to point them back to repentance. Not-yet-believers get a pass because their eyes aren’t really open to the truth yet. However, we all need to be guided as to what is right and wrong in love (based on Scripture). We’re seeing the effects now of that not occurring. Watch any newscast and you will see it. We’re seeing people under the banner of “christianity” go against God’s doctrine because they aren’t studying the Word to know what it says. We are also seeing some under that same banner spout hate. Neither of which are the thing to do. I agree, I do not want to argue. I probably sound passionate about what I’m saying. However, I saw the need for the full truth of God’s Word (not my opinion) to be shared on this topic. I wish I only had more time to include the Bible references in detail. Happy Easter to all here, and I will be praying. Blessings.

        • Just one question (made with all due respect) where in the Bible does Jesus Christ say anything about homosexuality? What scripture are we not following when we accept homosexuals as our equals? I am not looking for random quotes from Leviticus, who also tells us that a man must marry the women he rapes or that beating slaves is acceptable. I am honestly asking where in Scripture, does it say anything at all about homosexuality or homosexual behavior? Thank you I look forward to a reply.
          Momma O recently posted..Ready for Summer?

          • Jesus says nothing about homosexuality…but Jesus DOES say divorce is a sin except if the wife commits adultery…but I don’t think anyone is going to tell divorced people they are sinners…I have to remind myself not throw Bible verses in someone’s face because it will surely bite me in the butt!

          • There are several other passages in the Bible that address homosexuals and their behavior. However, I noticed you made a point of asking where in the Bible that Jesus himself said anything, but you already knew the answer to that right? Still, I’m not sure why that matters, because Jesus was not the only person in the Bible to deliver God’s messages to us. It almost sounds like you’re inferring that if Jesus Himself didn’t say it, then we don’t have a Christian duty to uphold and obey God’s commands.

            I’m not an expert at all, but my understanding(I’ve gleaned this from many sources, not just a couple) is that anything in the Old Testament that is addressed again in the New Testament, is something we are still obligated to observe and obey as Christians, regardless of whether or not Jesus was the one who said it. If it is not mentioned again in the New Testament, then we are no longer required to adhere to it. That is why we have done away with many of the things in the old testament that used to be customary, such as the examples you cited, and countless others such as unclean foods, tassels on our robes, and the inequality and mistreatment of women.

            Anyway, to answer your question, check out http://www.blogos.org/compellingtruth/Romans-1-homosexuality.html If you are sincere in your quest to know more about whether God changed his stance on homosexual behavior, then you won’t mind reading the article link I posted. In fact, you can type “homosexual” in the search box on that site and find *many* biblically based articles that discuss in great detail what the Bible passages say, and it is very thorough in the study of the ancient terminology to be as accurate in translation to those times as possible. I hope you are really earnestly searching for the truth, rather than just looking for evidence to back up your argument in an attempt to appeal to more “worldly” viewpoints. If God wants to reveal something more to you, but you have closed your mind to it, then it won’t matter what you read or how clearly is it stated to you. A LOT of people are this way – it comes from our free will – we can harden our hearts to the point that God himself can’t penetrate it without force. The average non-Bible scholar can take any verse and minimize it, twist it, or take it out of context to make it prop up their lifestyle and fit their needs. Cults and scammers do it all the time. I prefer to read what highly educated Biblical scholars, with decades of study, have to say on the matter. To ignore what God says multiple times in the Bible, and the expertise of scholars, is akin to deciding that the expert opinion of your mechanic, and a second opinion, doesn’t suit you, so you ignore their advice and keep driving your ailing car, even though you are warned that this will cause damage down the road. Sure, you can tell yourself it’s okay and your car won’t break down, but that’s not what’s going to determine what happens.

            Peace and Love to you all. :o)

          • Sorry it took me so long. I was spending Easter with the family. New Testament Romans 1:26 – 27 “Because of this (previous verses, Christians are rejecting God and thinking they knew better than God), God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.”
            The family, which is the first institution created by God, is the basic building block of society. It is clear that God intended for marriage to be between a man and a woman. It is also obvious from His Word that same-sex relationships are perversions of His original plan. God is a good God. He wants what is best for all of us. How many times do we try to circumvent Him and think we know best? Usually, that doesn’t work out so well for us. He sent us His Word – the Bible – so that we can know His best for us. However, we have to read it in context, and literally, and the plain meaning all together so that we can understand what He’s saying to us. Unfortunately, so many these days (probably unknowingly) are thinking they know what is right by whatever sounds good and feels good or what they’ve heard on TV or heard in schools or heard from the rogue pulpits, but it’s leading down a wrong path.
            My precious uncle (who has homosexual tendencies) deals with this topic every day, and he handles it in light of Truth. It hasn’t always been this way. Once, he was hit in the head with a brick that someone threw because he was walking with a man at the beach. On a separate occasion, he was arrested for public activities related to this. How it broke my grandmother’s heart and all of our hearts! Years later, he is happy now and living according to the Word. I’m sure he has struggles, but he is living in peace. Bottom line, the Creator’s ways are best, and we really shouldn’t try to put our own spin on them, even if it feels or sounds good. We all have to make choices, and I know many minds are made up here. I just hope that if we are going to take a stand under the banner of Christianity (also sometimes a loose title these days), that we are following what our God-inspired Bible says – all of it. I do want to end with the statement that the primary thing we should be proclaiming is the gospel message and expanding our Lord’s kingdom. These side issues seem to be detracting from that, which is unfortunate. Thanks for listening.

  71. A friend posted this link on her FB page and I have to stay I totally agree with you. As Christians, it’s not our job to judge what others do or how they live their life. I’m glad Jesus loves me UNCONDITIONALLY. I think this world would be a better place if we all loved that way.

    Great post!!!
    Rachel recently posted..It’s OK Thursday and My Sweet 16 Picks

  72. This post is truly the best one I have read about this very issue…I love me some Jesus and I also love me some gay people–ALL people, that is.

    Thank you for writing this with such grace, insight, and honesty.

  73. We must have very different friends because I haven’t seen one of those crosses in my stream yet…which makes sense since I’m a liberal Jewish girl in Southern California. I love how you have kept your faith but also kept an open heart and mind about gay marriage and parents. Religion doesn’t change, but the world does, and we all have to adapt to how the new and different will be in our lives, whether liberal or conservative, Jewish or Christian straight or gay. Bravo!
    Sharon Greenthal recently posted..Dear Bride: How Not to Talk to Your Groom

  74. I’m a southerner too, and wish I would have said this. Like you, I’ve been quiet and I shouldn’t have. Everything you said, I’ve agreed with for years. Well said and thank you.

  75. great post!
    I had never thought about the fact that just because one posts things in a vague non-personal way- really doesn’t change how we should react. if someone said something hate-filled/ uncalled for/ offensive to a friends- we would speak up! so why not when its on the internet? likewise- we ought not post things vaguely that we wouldn’t say to someone’s face. good thinking!

    this was a tiny part of you are right- this is a tiny part of your post but this is a government fight today. if gay marriage becomes legal nationwide, it’s going to force churches to defend their beliefs on the issue on their own turf. no more buffer to say its a moot point as its illegal in the state. will be very interesting to see how that plays out when it comes down to having clergy bless unions/ceremonies- whatever evolves.

    thanks for your awesome post!

  78. “And all I’m saying is, I’m really glad that’s not how Jesus loves me.”

    Such a perfect sentence. I just started following your blog and was intrigued by what you would say in this post. I’m part of the Literary Junkies Book Club and we’re so excited to chat with you in the near future. Taylor, from Pink Heels Pink Truck, highly recommended getting your book and so I thought I’d check out your blog. This was an awesome post and I am so looking forward to reading more from you. Thank you for the future opportunity.

    Kim
    Kimberly Erskine @ The Simplicity recently posted..The Book Chat: Are You an Aspiring Author

  82. Well said! I’ve been holding back as well especially after the elections, which felt just as angry as this current topic. But, like you, I’ve decided that I need to speak out too. I think it’s important that we all keep speaking out especially regarding equality. Thank you for posting! I’m going to share it on my Human Being facebook page.
    Susanne recently posted..Let’s Ditch the Labels

  84. I, as a Christian, am against gay marriage. It’s not at all because I hate gay people. I have many gay friends. It’s just that I believe that there is a more fulfilling relationship for them that can be found by receiving the love of The Lord and obeying his commandments.

    By redefining marriage in this way, what will the future hold? Two consenting adults should be able to have an incestuous marriage. Polygamy should be legal.

    Our courts make judgements based on moral principles that are, though not stated, Christian. No lying, stealing, etc. We are free in this country, but we were founded on Christian principles. Our founders who dedicated their lives to creating this countries wanted it that way. We need to make a clear choice and stand up for what our founding fathers fought for.

    • Megan, I would like to ask you the same question that I asked a previous commenter, that I have not gotten an answer to. The question is (made with all due respect) where in the Bible does Jesus Christ say anything about homosexuality? What scripture are we not following when we accept homosexuals as our equals? I am not looking for random quotes from Leviticus, who also tells us that a man must marry the women he rapes or that beating slaves is acceptable. I am honestly asking where in Scripture, does it say anything at all about homosexuality or homosexual behavior? Thank you I look forward to a reply.

      Also, Thomas Jefferson said: “Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law.” He also said “And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerve in the brain of Jupiter. But may we hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated reformer of human errors.
      -Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Adams, April 11, 1823

      I believe our founding fathers fought for us to believe as we want without fear of repercussion or coercion.

      While I respect your beliefs and respect your right to believe them, I do not have to follow your beliefs nor should anyone else be forced to abide by them.
      Momma O recently posted..Ready for Summer?

      • Hi Momma O,

        Thank you for your respectful reply.

        I have understood the New Testament verses Romans 1:26-27, 1 Timothy 1:9-10, and Jude 1:7 to regard homosexuality. This scripture is from 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (Amplified Bible):

        “Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality”

        The “do not be deceived” portion has always stood out to me. Though these things may bring temporary satisfaction, I know from my own experience that a relationship with Christ can turn his children’s lives completely around in ways they never could have imagined and bring them everlasting joy.

        I am no expert on our nation’s history, but I do know that our currency states “In God We Trust” and we pledge our allegiance to “One Nation Under God.” If I went to another country, I would respect and abide by the principles on which it was grounded, though I might not agree with them.

        Religion aside, I believe that if we redefine the definition of marriage, we will have to do so for all kinds of couples. Why is polygamy wrong if they love each other? Why is incest wrong if they love each other? These people can claim that they are discriminated against as well and rightfully so. If gay marriage is legalized and the definition is changed, where will the line be drawn?

        With all of my friends, regardless of sexual orientation, I don’t ever tell them how I think they should live because I have NO authority to do so!! I encourage ALL of my friends to just pray and have conversations with the Lord regarding their relationships and I offer my support in any way I can. What the Lord leads them to do is between them and the Lord. But, from a national perspective, I just think that if we redefine marriage for one type of relationship, we should all be ready to redefine marriage for ALL relationships.

        • You need to study your history: Both “In God We Trust” and “One Nation Under God” were added in the 1950’s as part of McCarthyism and had nothing to do with the founding of this country. Personally, I think things should go back to they way they were before all the anti-communist craziness.

    • Are we as Christians the only religion to have these “moral” principles? Also, as I remember history…and it has been quite a while…our founding fathers came here to get away from religious tyranny…forced to be a part of The Church of England. Why should the Religious beliefs anyone has be forced on others? If you don’t agree with same sex marriage or homosexuality, just say so, but please don’t use God as your excuse. He is so much bigger than that.

      • Hi Ann,

        1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (Amplified Bible): “Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality”

        The word of our Lord, spoken through Paul.

        I know that God is so much bigger than all of our sins – Jesus sacrificed himself so that our sins would be washed away. It’s the biggest, most merciful blessing we could ask for! We all sin everyday, we’re human, yet we can always go to God and start anew. Amen!! But that doesn’t mean that God condones all that we do, like the Scripture says. I read it to mean don’t be fooled by worldly satisfaction and temporary happiness. The best treasure of all lies in a relationship with Christ.

      • Another issue is that churches will be forced by the GOVERNMENT to go AGAINST their beliefs because folks wanting same-sex marriages will obviously go to churches and want marriage ceremonies. Does anyone see anything wrong with that picture? The same groups touting separation of church and state will totally obliterate that concept. This is another huge reason the Church is pushing back. It also opens a can of worms where someone could marry their dog or someone could have 18 wives or whatever. It will not stop and sadly society will decline just as in the Bible. Anyhow, this is all just setting the stage and expected.

        • Actually, this is NOT true. Churches can and do refuse to marry people for a variety of reasons. They don’t believe in inter-faith marriages, inter-racial marriages or the couple hasn’t fulfulled the church’s premarital requirements. Churches will NOT be required to marry anyone that they don’t want to marry. There are plenty of churches who will marry gay people.
          Barbara recently posted..Michelle

  85. Just came here from another blog (It’s A Dome Life) and am now following your blog as well. Also? Share this on FB cuz you rocked it. Thanks for standing up. It’s scary, especially when family and friends will throw you into the fire over things like this, so I have mad respect for you. While I am not a Christian, I believe Jesus of the Christian Bible would be pleased with your support for marriage equality and human rights. After all — Jesus had it right. It’s only his wonky followers who get it wrong so very, very often. xoxo
    Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz) recently posted..Keystone Habit — Get one.

  86. Also, for the record, Jesus Himself didn’t say anything at all about same sex marriage. We know what Paul and others had to say but Jesus was silent. I’m pretty sure he had bigger fish to fry. Such as telling us to take care of each other – even people who we don’t think DESERVE it – and to not judge others.
    Barbara recently posted..Michelle

    • What about what God says? Paul was called to be an apostle by God and set apart for the gospel of God. Therefore, we should probably listen to what he says as well. No? Either we choose to obey God’s Word or we choose to do what we want to do.

      The main thing is for each person to accept that He died to take the place for all of our wrong doings, to believe that He arose from the dead to give us eternal life with Him, to confess that we are ALL sinners and have done wrong, and to turn from that sin to follow Jesus from now on into eternity. What an awesome message of hope and peace! That’s where we need to focus — on that love, and out of that, we follow him as Lord of our lives.

      Because He loves us and believers love Him, we want to follow all of His teachings and obey Him. We don’t want to be willingly choosing to live in our sin just because we like it or are prone to that in our sinful nature. In fact, as believers, we shouldn’t feel normal in sin. Once we are believers, we don’t want to remain in our filth. We want to please our Savior with the help of the Holy Spirit, even if it’s difficult to do. Sure, we’ll mess up, but we continue coming back to our Savior when that happens, and turning from sin and letting his perfect grace cover us. It’s not a license to sin, but a turning from it.

      Most of us who are speaking out on all of the issues within the Church (including divorce) do care about those dealing with sin (including our own). If we didn’t, we would take the easy road and go with the tide like everyone else. We just know that going against God’s Word is destructive to the person and others in their lives – based on His Word, based on our own lives or what we’ve seen in history and already happening in the world now. It’s more of a warning than judging. Only God is the judge.

      We are all precious in God’s sight, and I pray that eyes will be opened to see His full Truth on this subject and His Word overall. I pray that each one will daily dig into the Bible, seek God’s Truth (not what each wants to match his/her own desires) and pray over the text. I pray that lives will be changed as a result.

      • Hi Barbara,

        Just my thoughts..

        Paul’s words were not words that he came up with himself. The Lord himself spoke through him. Thankfully, the Lord assures us that nothing will be added or taken away from the Bible that He has not written through his disciples.

        Revelation 22:19 – 19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

        In regard to the statement that Jesus had “bigger fish to fry,” the Lord knows the number of hairs on our heads! I believe that if an issue is important to His children, it’s important to the Lord.

        Just because you don’t support someone’s actions does not mean that you shouldn’t love them or care for them. That’s actually exactly what Christians are called to do: instead of hating something that is not familiar, Jesus showed us that we should love and care for all of brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless of their walk of life, and, together, support one another in developing a relationship with the Lord.

  87. WOW!! Those are just the words I believe Jesus would speak if he stopped by …..And they are words of love for your religion and love for His creation. It is through your words…..I see the truth of God…Thank You!!!!

  88. I’ve had to come back and read your post again, it is honestly one of the best I’ve read. I’ve actually enjoyed most of the responses (on BOTH sides!) Honestly before this topic plastered my facebook feed, I did not have an opinion on it. The more I hear bible verses quoted and people spouting words of hate and anger (on both sides) the more I support the Marriage Equality ticket. The more I, as a Christian, question my own faith, which has always been unfailing in the past.

    I’m curious to wonder how many people think that homosexuality is a choice. I’ve met people who experiment of course, but when I think of marriage equality I think of the people who grew up knowing they weren’t interested in or attracted to the opposite sex. I think of the children who were/are feel out of place in High School, who are made fun of and cast out because they wrote a girls name instead of a boys name on their PeeChee. I think of the people who suffer in silence living a lie in order to make their peers happy. I can’t imagine MY God would create a child to suffer and yet I know in my heart that these children were born as they are.

    I have to wonder if some people believe that a Christian who loves someone of the same sex and has had a long, loving relationship of someone of the same sex is not praying hard enough or asking Jesus to come deep enough within their hearts. Do they think they are just pretending to be Christian to be with the cool crowd?

    And finally I am so confused how we can be so hateful and angry and mean to other human beings. I don’t remember anything in the Bible about hating other people. And if it’s in there, honestly I may have to rethink my own faith. I don’t think it’s our job to judge other people. We aren’t supposed to stand on a hill and point at random people and shout that they’re going to hell! I think we’re supposed to love and lead by example and educate our fellow man. Robyn, I loved how you said

    Thank you again and I apologize for the rant. I think I kept it nice =)
    Susanne recently posted..Marriage Equality

    • Wow, I promise I wasn’t drinking when I wrote that. I guess it’ll teach me to try to write with two little kids jumping up and down on my lap and swinging from my neck! :) What I was going to actually quote was one of your final things

      Susanne recently posted..Marriage Equality

    • I will NOT accept your apology as it is completely unnecessary!;) I agree, I have enjoyed the dialogue here and I appreciate SO much that people have been civil. Passionate? Yes! But disrespectful? Not at all! That’s kind of awesome!

  89. God Bless You, Robin! That was a well written and thought out post that put into words what I have been trying to say for a while now. I am a Christian and I believe that the LGBT community should have the same rights that all Americans have. We are, after all, a part of the human race and the human race was conceived by God. He gave us free will because He loved us. And despite all the wrong things that we do, He still loves us. That is such an awesome thing to know.
    I am so glad that this post was on Huffington Post for all to see. I’m now going to be checking your blog daily! :)
    From a born and breed Ohioan,
    Susan Ryder

  90. Lovely post, thumbs up for writing that.

    One little comment though – as an atheist, I’ve often been struck by how selectively certain Christians know their Bible. For instance most Christians know about Gen 19 (Sodom and Gomorrah) and use it to bash gay people – but few of them have ever heard of Ezekiel 16:49-50 which lists the sins that led to the destruction of Sodom – and does not mention anything remotely resembling homosexuality. Although I do not believe the Bible, I can still read it – and from my analysis there is nothing in the Bible that condemns homosexuality unless one obeys all of the laws of the old testament (no bacon and all that).

  91. I am so glad the Huffington Post posted your blog. I have been an out gay man for almost 30 years. I am Christian and very proud to say it. Jesus has been with me through so many crises. I feel his presence all the time. I also very proud to say I have many fundamentalist Christian friends. We don’t ignore my sexuality. I don’t not ignore their beliefs. I feel their love. I know for a fact they would defend me if necessary. I also know that they may not always vote they way I would. I respect that. I respect them. They respect me and my views.

  93. FINALLY reading this and nodding in agreement the whole time. Sure, nodding about my support of gay marriage rights, but really nodding about needing to come out of the closet about my support.

    You’re amazing, Robin. I’m glad I know you. And if I wanted to marry women, I daresay I’d put you on my short list.
    Ninja Mom recently posted..Spring Break but I’m not broken.

  95. I’ve been Switzerland for a few years — since my younger sister came out after college. But last year she and her partner decided to marry in DC, and I had to explain to my kids that I was going to a wedding. For two women. And the love dam just broke loose. This year the kids and I are going to DC on vacation and staying with their gay aunts. Because we’re family. And I want my kids to see that the “marriage issue” is not an issue, it’s people. People we love.

    Thanks so much for writing this post. Fund you on HuffPost, and I’ve now subscribed to your blog. Keep on telling your truth!

  96. Hello Robin!
    I am writing all the way from Brazil to congratulate you on taking a stand. I am gay, have been with my husband for ten and a half years, and we finally got married last September. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
    All we want is to be taken seriously. There is way too much prejudice to go around. Whether because you are black, white, poor, rich, fat, thin, gay or straight. We just want to be loved and share our lives with the people we choose, regardless of their gender.
    I was truly touched by what you wrote. I wish you all the best, and, hopefully, the complimentary messages far outnumbered the hate mail.

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  7. […] The stance of so many Christians today about LGBT people reminds me so much of the racist views of the past and several months ago I decided I simply couldn’t be silent anymore. […]