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People I Want To Punch In The Throat- Book Giveaway

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If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook then you have already heard me raving about my friend Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat and her new book, “Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat.” I haven’t really shut up about it since she sent it to me a couple of months ago because it’s freaking hilarious.

Jen’s blog went viral with her Elf on a Shelf post last year, which you’ve prolly already read because I think about five different people emailed it to me in 24 hours–it’s that good.

I started cyberstalking Jen earlier this year and after she figured out how to respond to my DMs on Twitter, we started chatting online. We met up at BlogHer in NYC this year and I was a little nervous about meeting her because girlfriend is FIERCE on the internets. But I had nothing to worry about. I knew when I saw, “Like Erma Bombeck but with F-bombs” on her business card that we were meant to be Bloggy Sister Wives. Jen is awesome and gracious, a spit-fire and hysterically funny– just like I like my bloggy friends.

And she let me punch her in the throat in the Aiming Low photo booth…

Aside from her famous Elf on a Shelf essay which is in this book, my favorite chapter is You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze where Jen writes about cookie swaps. I had tears running down my cheeks by the time I finished it.

Jen sent me a copy of “Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat” to giveaway but I’ve been holding on to it because all my Facebook peeps are filled with a fiery, red-hot rage when Target gets out the Christmas decorations the day after Halloween. Out of respect for Thanksgiving (and my crazy Christmas loving people) I waited until today to giveaway the signed copy Jen sent me!

Want it to be yours? Leave a comment on this blog post to tell me and Jen who you want to Punch in the Throat at Christmas! 

(Contest entries end at midnight Dec 1. Winner announced Dec 2– US addresses only!)

Follow Jen on Facebook & Twitter! Buy her book HERE!

And don’t forget that today is Ketchup’s first birthday! To celebrate the e-book of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves is only $0.99 until midnight! (11/30/12) 

WINNER IS MARLENA RUIZ!

 

 

 

 



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  1. The parents who give you the “stare” when your emotionally impaired child is acting out. Sometimes it moves beyond the stare to a tsk tsk and then a loud “can’t you control your child” sigh. Yep, I have an “easy to love, but hard to raise” child and every mother who has one out there is saying “amen”. :)

  3. Cashiers, managers, stockpersons…..anyone in the grocery store who comments that my husband is dragging my poor cold, sleepy baby out of bed to go get milk at 8am (not 4am, not 6am, 8AM!) on a weekend morning because we ran out and my kids want cereal EVERY DAY. Hello neb-nose, you do not know us. Telling my husband that my child should be wearing a coat when it is 65-70 degrees outside (and they just came from the refrigerated aisle in your store), or should still be in bed when she is be-bopping in the checkout line is ANNOYING. Keep your comments to yourself! My child wakes up at 7am EVERY DAY. She is 3. She does not understand that weekends are for sleeping in yet. She also wants to accompany Daddie on any kind of car trip that she can, especially if her sister does not want to go! She is dressed and has hair combed…does she look malnourished (what are they buying after all!), does she look dirty, does she look unhappy? NO! She is super-hyper and excited which is why I appreciate this 20 minutes of calm morning time when my kids are not fighting over which color spoon… and bowl… and cereal…and add anything that can be found around the house that they want simultaneously. Maybe your kids sleep in weekends but what good is it doing you….you are at work! Everyone is happy with this arrangement, except that cashier. Maybe I should run out of milk every Saturday morning….hmmmmmm

  4. Can we just have one punch?

    I’d like to throw a punch at people who are just rude in general. I was at Starbucks the other day and noticed two things: 1) the majority of people had some incredibly complicated orders and 2) no one says “thank you.” And they’re all “give me,” not “may I have” or “I’d like xxx, please.” It was instilled in me at a very young age that I should always use my manners. It bugs the crap out of me when people can’t bother to be even a little polite.

    • Yes the rudeness is at an all time high. I was at BJ’s shopping, when they started raffling off some jewelry. As the people gathered around, there was one particular woman, who was just so pushy, just moving around the carts & people like they didn’t even exist. Not one excuse me, pardon me, not a word to either myself or the people she kept dodging around. I was just in awe of her behavior. She not only jammed my cart & pushed me not once but 3 TIMES. I almost made a comment on her behavior but since I was taught to be respectful & courteous to my elders (anybody older than me, even by a few years) I didn’t. Probably cause my first instinct was to curse her out when usually I can be pretty calm calling someone out, but she made me see RED!! But if I could’ve I’d PUNCHED HER WITH MY CART. P.S. I. AM. A. HUGE. FAN. OF. BOTH. OF. YOU. Figuratively, I mean. he he

  5. The lady who told me my daughter needed to get her fingers out of her mouth–
    “Fingers?” I asked. “You mean thumb? (the one she sucks when she is tired and it keeps her QUIET!)
    “Yes, that thumb sucking is going to ruin her teeth. You better break her of that!”
    “Okay, Thanks!” (Really I meant mind your own dang business!)

  6. other shoppers in stores. any shopper. any store. shopping is pretty much my least favorite thing that i can tolerate for the majority of the year, and i absolutely lose all patience for it during the holidays what with all of the crazy eyes and sold out everything and long check out lines and i’m stressing myself out just thinking about it. long live online shopping!
    Amanda recently posted..operation knock-down drag-out: week 13.

  7. Robin, Thanks so much for writing such a great review of the book. I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed the Cookie Exchange chapter. I got my first invite of the season last night and I was assured there would be a booze swap as well.

  8. My neighbor who has decorated her house in the Griswold way. Lots of blow up decorations need I say more?

  9. I will actually be spending the holidays with someone I’d like to punch in the throat, so I won’t name that person by name…let’s just say it’s someone in my “family”…ugh…are the holidays over yet?

  10. 1) the list of people I would punch in the throat is entirely too long for this forum.
    2) The title of this book very accurately describes my childhood. I’m a little miffed that I didn’t think to use it as the title of my autobiography.

  11. The overly helpful store employee whose job it is to greet shoppers and who welcomes me repeatedly every time she walks by! Doesn’t she recognize me from 30 seconds ago? And 30 seconds before that? Really? Am I that forgettable?

  12. It’s difficult to narrow this down. How about “people who think they know what’s best for me even though they know nothing about me”?

  13. I would love to punch my dad in the throat!!! Also my mother in law but my dad more, he drains all the fun and happiness out of everything!!!

  14. I would like to punch the store employees, managers etc (namely WalMart) for putting all those toys, dolls, etc out in the aisles….even in the grocery section. I mean, no where is safe to take the kids without the lure of goodies!

  15. All those mom’s who have these huge beautiful houses that are always spotless and their “perfect” children! How do they have any time to sleep? And do they have any fun with their children?

  16. I want to punch my mother-in-law in the throat for always making things more difficult for others so things are more convenient for her!!

  17. I used to want to punch my sister-in-law (husband’s sister) in the throat and various other places. She has a batshit crazy talent for destroying any and all holiday or family events by flying her freak flag with pride. I say “used to” because I voiced the issues and consequences to my favorite doctor and was given a special Xanax prescription to be used In Emergencies during the holidays. If I time things correctly, I spend inlaw family time staring at their Christmas tree with a big smile on my face. If she is really stepping up the crazy, I have learned that watching prison documentaries the week before Christmas is a great reminder of why I would not do well in a prison environment.

  18. I’m gonna throat punch my childless brother for the crap he buys my kids for X-Mas. Every year it’s something I then have to buy additional items for. Last year was the skylanders game. I spent half the year hunting down all the freakin characters to go with the thing. Thanks Bro. Eat fist.

  19. That’s a tough one! so many to choose! I love to punch my husband when i am in the living room Christmas eve wrapping presents and he is in the den watching hunting shows. Also punch him when he keeps asking how long is it going to be! i mean the kids don’t ask as much as he does!

  21. I don’t know why, but “People I’d Like to Punch in the Throat” reminds me of my daughter, a 19 year old, cynical college student, who “hates humanity”……but seriously………I think Jen’s sense of humor would fit right in to our crazy family and I’d LOVE to read her book! :)

  22. I must be in a good mood, that or my medicine finally kicked in cause I don’t want to punch anyone in the throat. I just want a copy of the book signed. :-)
    But if I had to pick a punch it would be to my Odyssey (sorry Jen) for acting up right before the holidays and the 300 mile trip planned the day after Christmas to Disneyland. I love that van with its magic doors and am already coveting the newest model with the magic rear hatch as well. But I don’t appreciate the horrific noise it was making that the mechanic can’t find. :-/

  23. Our sister-in-law isn’t being very friendly this Christmas… she might need a slight punch in the throat.

  25. I started following you because Jen blogged about your book. I liked your blog, so now I follow you too!! BTW…I want to punch bratty, whiny annoying kids in the face in December.

  26. I want to punch the girls who work at Justice. I hate that store. It doesn’t help that the workers are 16 and chipper. Wow, spend $16 more and I will qualify to get that shirt you pulled off the shelf for a mere $20? Because it is a scratch and sniff cat? Am I stupid?? PUNCH!

  27. I want to say my sister-in-law for moving to St. Louis, because now my mother-in-law alternates years going there for Christmas which means now we can’t go to upstate NY for Christmas which is where WE HAVE BEEN GOING FOR CHRISTMAS FOR 25 YEARS where it is like CHRISTMAS HEAVEN and my family is distraught and now we are stuck here in South Jersey but that just wouldn’t be filled with Christmas spirit now, would it? :::::::::::::pouring another glass of freaking eggnog and looking out at the non snow filled yard here in South Jersey:::::::::

  28. I always want to punch my brother in the throat as he gives me parenting tips, tells everyone how much money he made last year, and where they are traveling in the spring. All while his daughter is choking my dog, and he is feasting on the spread of food that everyone contributed to except him
    because “oh I don’t have any cash on me….con I pay you back?” I’d like to go all IRS on his ass….but I would settle for punching him in the throat.

  30. I would love to punch my brothers girlfriend square in the throat. She treats me as if I’m an ex girlfriend of his! It’s bizarre and I tried to be nice up until now. She deserves a good clothesline as well! 😉

  31. I would like to punch people who have newborns withOUT colic in the throat this Christmas. Tired of hearing “Bless your heart…I’ve never experienced that, little Johnny slept through the night our 1st night home. That must be terrible.” Yep, PUNCH!!!!