I dug through my closet searching for bathing suits, cover-ups and loose sundresses. My suitcase sat on top of my bed bright yellow with hot pink paisley’s on my white comforter, clothes scattered around my room. I always say I’m going to pack light for the beach. I know I’ll wear basically the same three outfits the whole time. I just never know which outfits I’ll want. So I take them all.
I mentally went down the list of things I planned to do with my kids this week to make sure I’d packed everything we needed. As I packed my swim skirt and big floppy hat for a trip to the water park, I caught myself thinking, “I wish I had a pair of aquasocks…”
I gasped. The horror.
Aquasocks or the desire for them, are a red flag, indicating impending old fogeydom. (I cannot believe that spellcheck didn’t flag fogeydom.)
My mind spun out of control. I saw myself wandering aimlessly around Gulf Shores in my big floppy hat, a mou mou, and aquasocks shopping for my own fanny pack. Which would probably be embroidered with something classy like, “I’d be dead in dog years.”
Visor: check. Cheesy shades:check. Aquasocks that are 3 sizes too small? CHECK!
I shivered at the thought and began sorting through the clothes I’d already put in my suitcase, attempting to narrow things down. I realized I hadn’t actually packed everything I owned— just everything with an elastic waistband or no waistband at all.
The drive to the beach wasn’t nearly as hard as it normally is. Mostly because I finally had a brainwave and brought a babysitter with me. It was life changing to be able to make pit stops not have to unload all three kids and find their shoes every time somebody needed to pee. It was equally as amazing to have someone to talk to for six hours who didn’t screech at me, “MOOOOOMMMM!”
I had almost forgotten about my impending old fogeydom when I cracked a joke making reference to the movie “Dumb & Dumber” and my babysitter looked at me slightly confused.
“You know from ‘Dumb & Dumber’?” I asked.
She shook her head, “I’ve seen parts of it.”
If Harry and Lloyd are no longer culturally relevant, I guess I might as well go ahead and buy those aquasocks I’ve been eyeing. If you need me, I’ll be wandering around Gulf Shores looking for that fanny pack.
Are you seeing any red flags of your own impending old fogeydom? What are they?
Oh m gosh. This is so funny. I wrote w post about something similar to this. How I am turning into ,y parents because I watch the same shows over and per on tv and laugh like I’ve never seen it before. That was the moment I realized I’m not only old, but turning into my parents. Lord help us all.
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Seeing teenagers do ridiculous things and just thinking to myself “kids these days” and “we were never that crazy, stupid, etc”
Also going to the mall in my crocs. This would probably disturb someone who wasn’t marching determinedly toward old-fogeyism.
Oh, but yes. Almost nightly now we complain there is nothing on TV. Let me correct that — nothing but “TRASH” on TV. And by 10pm, we are watching reruns of Frasier. One step away from Gunsmoke, I tell you.
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Almost daily. This week end I told hubby I think I want a mini-van now instead of a four door truck. The look on his face was priceless. I thought then “I have turned from Mama to MawMaw.” I had a van when our son was small and now with a 7 month old grandestdaughter I have come full circle.
Girl! Are you shopping at the “shark?!” We just visited Gulf Shores 2 weeks ago. It’s a favorite beach spot of ours (apparently for us old fogeys.) Enjoy your beach visit and try to at least rotate those 3 outfits
My clues were the SPF 1million in my pool bag, um…just having a pool bag large enough to fit my youngest child in, and giving the teenage pool rats the stink eye when they talk about inappropriate things.
As your friends, please put the aqua socks down and step away!
Don’t feel bad about your sitter not getting the Dumb & Dumber reference. Yesterday I had the pleasure of negotiating an a/c repair and the repair-person said the capacitor had broken (or something), to which I laugh & say “do you mean the flux-capacitor?” referencing Back to the Future…he TOTALLY did not get it. Felt really old and dumb
Hey now.. I’m only 19 and have seen Dumb & Dumber too many times to count. Don’t start looking for that fanny pack just yet. 😉
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Hey now.. I’m 19 and I’ve seen Dumb & Dumber too many times to count! Don’t start looking for that fanny pack just yet. 😉
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You had me pegged at “elastic waistband!!”
However, old fogeydom is a state of mind, I think, and I’m not quite ready to concede that yet, great-grandma or not!
My 16 year-old saw a clip of Princess Bride. I understand his not seeing the movie…but I clutched my pearls when he had NO IDEA who Billy Crystal is. Looks like I’m hitting up the Netflix for some serious home schooling.
Hey now.. I’m 19 and I’ve seen Dumb & Dumber too many times to count! Don’t start looking at fanny packs just yet. 😉
She hasn’t seen “Dumb and Dumber”? Her parents have failed her.
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Aqua socks/ water shoes. Love them. I’ve warn them since I was 33 or so and I’m now 31. Yesterday I was driving home from my dads with my cousins 4 kids ages 7 to 14. The 14 year proceeds to tell me that Bon Jovi is no longer in and neither is Madonna. The 7 year says Bon Jovi rocks. Yep I first felt old then felt redeemed my a 7 year old.
First Fogeydom moment: 2004, I told my mom we needed to leave Hollister because it was too dark and the music was too loud. I was 26 years old.
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HAHA!
Ha! We were at the beach earlier this week, and my husband took our son to the water park so I could have a little beach time to myself. They had a good time, but my almost 50-year-old rocker husband said that next time they go there, the FIRST thing he is going to do is get himself some of those “water shoes” ’cause that pavement was too hot for his tender little feet!
yes, we are getting old(er) and we are our mothers! Scary when it happens – ha! Love the post, and I’ve looked in the mirror and my closet and seen the same things! Found you from Let Me Start by Saying and your trip to BlogHer this year. Totally Jealous and have to go next year!