Aubrey, my seven-year-old, came home from school yesterday and said, “I got bullied today by some big girls.” She’s very dramatic (GASP) so I wondered what this meant in her little head and I sat down to hear what happened.
A: These three girls who are older than me were making fun of my boots because they said they weren’t real.
My kids go to private school and wear uniforms. As soon as the temperature dips below 70 the girls all bust out their Uggs or, in our case, their Target Ugg knock-offs. And SORRY you little monsters but we don’t shell out $100 for shoes we are going to wear for 3 months then outgrow overnight.
Me: Hmm. What did you say?
A: I said it didn’t matter. I like my shoes.
She is awesome. And I realize these are somebody else’s babies but I kinda want to *punch them in the face.
Me: What did they say?
A: They kept making fun of me.
Me: So what did you do?
A: I said, “Welp. Guess I’m not gonna play with you guys anymore.” Then I jumped off the jungle gym and just walked away.
Me: I’m so proud of you. (For knowing how to make a powerful exit. I hope she huffed & tossed her hair as she stalked off.)
I realize on the Bully Scale of Mean this is like a 2 out of a 10 and if Aubrey wasn’t who she is that could have really hurt her feelings. (It may have. I remember being picked on in the second grade and even though I wasn’t really upset by it, I remember it to this day like it was yesterday.)
Lucky for Aubrey, and for me, (AND for those kids AND their Mommas) she seems to care very little what people think of her.
But I realize this is JUST the beginning of the whole Mean Girls bidnass and I’m wondering how I’m going to stay out of jail.
Have your kids been bullied and how did you deal with it? Also will you bail me outta jail if I get arrested for gettin’ wild on the playground with a bunch of second graders?
*I am not going to punch anyone in the face and neither are my kids. Unclench your butt cheeks.
Daughter 1 was called a freak show at her new school last month. She handled it better than I could have evn imagined!
Heather, what is with the phrase freak show? I have heard this several times this week!!!!!! Ooh, it gets my blood boiling just typing it.
So ugly, I truly hope if my kids ever act like this, which I’m sure at some point they will, that they get caught and called out. It’s so not okay.
Agreed! I don’t mind when my kids get called out for their bad choices.
What the french toast. Some kids are just bass moles. I think you (and Aubrey!) handled the situation quite well. If I were a momma, I’d be sorely temped to go Momma Bear on all their azzes.
And I would TOTALLY bail you out.
BASS MOLES. You win comment of the day. Adding this to my personal vocab list!
I will drive to Mississippi and go to jail with you. Soooo, we really do need to find someone to bail us out.
I will cut a grown person.
So Lori and Blair are out as potential phone calls.
I think we should rally a group of “Chicks” go all go to Target and buy their “Ugg” boots, so when the young ladies in question make their “not real” comments, our girls can say, “No, YOURS are not real!”
Remember the scene from The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, where the psycho nanny goes to the school playground and threatens the bully that’s been picking on the little girl she watches?? My sisterwife and I always say, when we hear about eachother’s kids getting picked on, “I’m going up there to get all Hand that rocks the cradle if that little punk doesn’t watch it!”
We had a very similar situation last year with the same type of girls. Lu was so excited to wear some new (to her) clothes one day, that were passed down from an older girl at her school who she loves and adores. Some twerp asked, “Where did you get that outfit??” and when L told her, proudly, “MARY! You know, she’s a FOURTH grader here!” The little brat said, “All you ever wear is hand-me-downs! My mom buys all my clothes at the mall.”
And the same kid also told her that her jeans weren’t name brand, her she’s weren’t Nike, and a few other things. It bothered me way more tan it did L. And I think part of the reason why was because I realized, she’s a SECOND GRADER. So her own mother must have taught her all of that. Because how else would she have even known to look for and say those things?
Anyway, sounds like you did wonderful in that situation. And yes, I’ll bail y’all out!
Adding “Hand that Rocks the Cradle” to my personal vocabulary.
I just read an article yesterday about bullying and little girls. I think oftentimes, girls are worse with cutting words and put-downs. It sounds like you are raising a confident woman who can stand up for herself. Of course, when we get home, we all feel a little twinge of hurt, but your baby did the right thing!
Here’s the problem. These children, I believe, are mirroring behavior they see AT HOME. Parents and other siblings displaying unloving judgment toward others. Then, once they get to school with that mindset, there are others who support their ignorance, so they band together.
My children attend private school as well and I am already seeing the “fashionistas” talking about brands at 4-years-old! Seriously?
Keep up the good work at home and I believe our children will learn from our example and grow up to be loving and compassionate children who don’t care if they have Uggs on their feet or Keds.
Thanks Beth. I’d like to think they didn’t learn it at home because that makes me feel a little pukey but I guess that’s really the only explanation.
Of course, they don’t learn everything at home, but I think they get an overall idea of what is acceptable based on the adults they admire around them. Your kids sound like they are seeing a pretty good example in you!
Elizabeth Rago recently posted..The Sweat Fest is Over! Anticipating Fall in the Midwest…
Oh, my! How did your site post info about my post. That is super fancy and spooky at the same time!
I need names. Pronto. Second grade is about to get a lot harder for somebody’s kids.
This is totally hypothetical, but you can really psychologically scar a child by making disturbingly scary faces at them while their parents aren’t paying attention. It’ll just be their word against yours and it doesn’t leave bruises. Totally hypothetical.
LOL!
Sorry to hear that Aubrey is already being exposed to girl meanness, but I’m sending her some mad props for how she handled it. You go girl!
She is pretty awesome.
Well, us – you know, the REAL mom’s, the ones in the trenches raising our own kids (not letting Nannies/TV/society do it) know that:
Frugal is the new cool!
So, not to incite a riot – but your little one would be the better bully – the Ugg buying parents are so NOT COOL!!!!
AMEN!
My little one is almost five and has been bullied by a little girl for almost a year now. Nothing big…just the usual- “You’re not my best friend today” – “You’re not invited to my Birthday party.” It’s been amazing how much this has stuck with VK and how often she’ll come home talking about this pint- size she-devil. So, needless to say, angels sang when they were placed in separate classes this year. I was secretly thrilled because I didn’t have to give her an invitation to VK’s Birthday (take that!). But yesterday, as the two girls waved goodbye across the school parking lot, my precious child asked if we could give her one…even though she’s not in her class. I always told her to be the bigger person, to keep being her friend- and now I’m having to swallow it and give the child an invitation. Isn’t it amazing how much our feelings are connected to our children’s? I just really hope, for everyone’s sake, that this little girl is sweet about getting an invitation…cause if not, this Mommy will have to figure out how to be the bigger person…even with a 3 ft head start.
I’ll start a savings account just for Mama Bails.
I FEEL you! I’m so proud of Aubrey for being the bigger person but the part of me that REALLY still needs Jesus to intervene, wanted her to say something to put them in their place. He’s still working on me.
THIS is the only reason I didn’t want Ava to start school!!! I won’t miss her, I don’t want her hanging out with ME all day, but I certainly don’t want her around THESE girls!!! And this is a PRIVATE SCHOOL!?!?!?
I am literally crying. I hate it. I HATED school, all of it!!! I can’t let Ava go through this!!! And what the hell?!?! Why do these girls have real uggs? Do you live in Orange County?
I know this isn’t very coherent. But I’m THAT upset about the entire situation. Insert compliment about Aubrey being mature or whatever here.
Jennifer recently posted..A Day in the Life
And PS, I think you should remove the disclaimer about not really punching anyone in the face. You SHOULD punch someone in the face! As someone else said, I will CUT someone who does this to us!!!
Jennifer recently posted..A Day in the Life
Ahh! I just got it. ugG instead of ugH!!! HAHAHAHA! So clever, so clever.
Jennifer recently posted..A Day in the Life
Jenn. I love you so hard.
I can remember being picked on around middle school age. When “boat shoes” came in to style. You know leather bass type shoes, loafers that tie basically. Anyway coming from a home of 2 working middle class parents, they always did the best they could but sometimes I went without said leather boat shoes. My mom found a pair at payless but they were not leather they were a synthetic leather? I didn’t care I was happy to get them. I wore them to school the next day only to be taunted from 3 to 4 people with a new nickname. Pleather. Hey pleather where did you get your fake shoes?” While their shoes may have had a hole or two in them apparently that was ok, but pleather would not roll. I tell you, you never forget when someone is mean to you. And even if my mom would have had the 100 to pay for Uggs she wouldn’t have either. I wouldn’t do that. Because in real life they out grow them in literally 3 months. That’s wasting money, don’t these women know any better?
Preach preacher!!
Hi! I’ve been reading your site for a long time (passed along to me by some of your BFFs from the metropolis of Jasper!) but have never posted. First – I LOVE your blog and creepily sometimes feel like I know you (I’m not a stalker I promise!) Secondly, I just had to reply on this one. I know everyone is saying it, but KUDOS to Aubrey for taking the high road! You’re obviously doing a fabulous job raising them, blip (yes, I’m the one whose family that came from!)
I will NEVER forget my first year at a private school. It was 7th grade (awkward stage of my life to say the least) and I had come from another private school but one that didn’t focus on brand names and money. I wore Jordache jeans that I thought were the coolest things since leather keds – they even had little patches on them with cool stuff like peace signs – and a few of the girls in my class made fun of me for them. They all had Guess jeans with the triangle patch on the hiney. There was one girl in particular who would have parties and invite EVERY person in my small class of about 45, but leave me out. I cried and cried to my parents and couldn’t understand why anyone would be that ugly. My parents couldn’t understand how anyone else’s parent could allow that behavior since they were obviously the ones who paid for the party and sent the invitations. After my mom’s hurt for me (translation: her desire to come at that girl’s mom like a spider monkey) calmed down a little she talked to me about taking the high road and killing with kindness. Later that same year, I was voted class favorite at my new school full of Mean Girls. This is not being said to toot my own horn, but more to illustrate that people DO notice the good kids over the better dressed, “cooler” kids and in the long run (and the short run) it doesn’t matter one bit if you’re wearing fake UGGs or Jordache jeans. I was at that school until the day I graduated and ended up making great friends. Unfortunately what I did learn is that these girls who made fun of others DEFINITELY learned the behavior at home. Name brand clothes, expensive first cars (I drove a hand-me-down OLD Geo Prism, while they got Range Rovers – at age 15!) and top of the line shoes were the norm.
Your girls will appreciate things way more than the little turds that have the brand name items. They’ll also be the ones to stand up for the next little girl who is wearing the WAY more practical knock off item. And my guess is that all 3 of your beautiful girls are probably the favorites out of their classes!
Wow – sorry that was so long!
Girl. Do you know the only thing I love more than blog stalkers coming out of the closet??? Comments. LONG ones!! You need to come play on FB! Robin Wiley O’Bryant!
When my son was about 15 years old the topic came up about where everyone lived. J said “I live about 12 miles from town out in the country.” A boy in his class said he didn’t believe it and when J asked him why the reply was” Your not poor, only poor people live in the country.” J told him he needed to get out of the house more and learn a few thinks before he spoke again.
And even if my mom would have had the 100 to pay for Uggs she wouldn’t have either. You know leather bass type shoes, loafers that tie basically. Do you live in Orange County? My mom found a pair at payless but they were not leather they were a synthetic leather?
Kelly Potts recently posted..Swiffer Mops
I grew up in the Deep South but I had some bucks girl!!