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Ninja Momma

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Apparently I hit the snooze button this morning because when I woke up at 6:30 and walked into the kitchen my husband had already poured the big girls a bowl of cereal. I don’t know what possessed me, (Do I EVER?) but a second before my family looked up from their breakfast, I did a running karate kick in the air and yelled, “HEEEEE-YAH!” (Do people do this at your house??)

Aubrey, my seven-year-old collapsed in giggles. “MOMMA! You are NOT going to believe this! I dreamed last night that you and Aunt B were ninjas!!”

*Shut. UP.*

I had tears rolling down my face as she explained how my sister and I beat the mess out of some “bad stranger guys” that were trying to get her. The mental pictures were enough to unglue me, but combined with the fact that I had just done a flying karate kick into the room and I regularly and inappropriately add “Ninja Mother,” to professional bios and forms asking for my “Occupation,” it was simply too much.

My family is awesome. We ended yesterday with bacon and started this day with ninjas. If there is a dragon in my future, my life will be complete.

*If you don’t understand why this is funny then you probably also don’t realize that Chuck Norris could totally take your Dad. Or that dragons are amazing. Or that all of life’s problems can be solved with either bacon, chocolate or wine and I don’t even know you. 

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Comments

  1. LOLOLOL!!!! That is hilarious! You probably sent Aubrey into dream flashback mode! Too funny!

  3. In those Kill Bill movies (highly inappropriate for chirren!) there was Black Mamba and what was the Uma Thurman character’s ninja name? That’s what I pictured as soon as you said running karate kick!