Today didn’t begin very well, which is really more of the same here at the boxing ring that used to be our home. The heat has driven us indoors. We have played games, played school, built forts, gone to the library, gone swimming and my kids are tired and cranky. I have never felt like more of a referee in my life. I have spent the last few weeks disciplining my children constantly.
This morning I snapped. Aubrey and Emma had a physical altercation and I. Snapped. I don’t think I have EVER cussed on this blog. But y’all. I have had ENOUGH of this shit. Do you hear me?? E-NOUGH.
I dragged them apart and I’m pretty sure the blind fury that was seething out of my pores scared them half to death. I turned off the TV, confiscated favorite toys and let them HAVE it. I put them in separate rooms to think about themselves and so I could go breathe into a paper bag.
I made a list of everything in my house that needed to be cleaned and gave them a choice. They could sit in time-out for the rest of the day or they could try to earn back some privileges. It’s amazing what scrubbing baseboards and doing laundry can do for a child’s disposition.
I was dusting in my room, (Don’t get all impressed with my housekeeping skillz. Either the dustbunnies had to go or we were going to have to start wearing shower shoes in our bedroom.) when Emma, my five-year-old came wandering in and climbed on my bed. The TV had been off all day, the house was clean and I wondered where Aubrey was. Sadie, as it happens, was lying naked on my clean bedroom floor listening to iTunes on my phone.
I was highly suspicious that Aubrey had slipped into another room and turned on the TV, which had been expressly and vehemently forbidden. I casually asked Emma, “Where is your sister?”
“She’s in da kitchen.”
I was still pretty sure something was up.
“What’s she doing?” I asked.
Emma was curled up like a cat on my bed. Her long skinny arms and legs tucked against her body. She sighed, “Juuuuuuust watchin’ the world go by…”
I began laughing uncontrollably.
Emma crinkled her nose at me. “What?? I axed her what her was doin’ AND she was just SITTIN’ at da table starin’ out the window and she SAID, “I’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the world go by.”
I cried tears I was laughing so hard.
Apparently fear is a huge motivator for my kids. (See above sticky note.) They have been so good since they finished cleaning that after lunch, I let them watch Scooby Doo while I taught them a new card game. *And they have made me laugh all afternoon.
Here are some of their funnies from the day:
Aubrey while watching Scooby Doo, “Man, this is gettin’ weird.”
Aubrey while playing Skip-Bo: Awwwww yeeeeeah! MOMMA’S (referring to herself!) got some STUFF over here!
A few minutes later, Aubrey’s smack talk contiunes: I’m like ROYALTY over here! *burps loudly*
Emma: ROYALTY doesn’t burp.
They have been so funny and sweet it almost made me forget about their smackdown this morning.
*Almost.
*While writing this post I had to stop, TWICE to go into their bedroom and unleash my Mother Fury, A-gain.
Talk to me mothers. How are we making it through the end of Summer Vacation?? (If you can not relate to this post then please don’t respond. I’m not sure how I’d react. Just sayin’.)
My 9 year old son has been home from his summer visit to his dad’s for exactly 4 days. The first 2 days I loved up on him but yesterday I took him and the bay-bay up to the school to attempt getting my classroom back in order. God love him, I know it wasn’t the most exciting thing, but he tapped and made noises and griped and moaned until I almost LOST MY SHADOOKY! Today I ate $100 and sent him to Club Nat for the rest of the week.
It’s rough here. Hope you got some stuff done while you could!!
This may sound strange, and totally something you may not understand, but I miss those days. As i am getting ready to send the last of three off to college, I would give anything to go back in time….maybe not to stay, just visit.
I’m trying to savor the moments when they aren’t beating each other senseless!! 😉 It does make me feel better to know you ever even HAD days like this! Your kids were always so sweet when I babysat for them!!
I’m much too exhausted to recount all the reasons I know EXACTLY what you mean. Suffice to say, I will be reading your post to my husband when he gets home so he can see that it’s not just ME losing my mind these days.
And oh yeah – I posted my own list of similar grievances last week. I entitled it “Looney Makers.”
At least we’re all going down together!!!
I believe the heat is turning them into little monsters. Today alone Gavin has climbed and broken my curtains, decided that it’s ok to pee in the floor and twice he has left me little poop art on the wall. I think he made a good choice in taking a nap.
I will drink a glass of wine for you tonight. Right after I drink one for me, and one for each of my kids….
shh, don’t tell anyone, but my cussing side came out last night! hmm, mmm. I relate. And that was funny – needed the giggle! Today has been much better. My oldest who is less likely to hug me even gave me a hug and said it was the best day ever. Thanks, Robin, for what you do to write funny posts to encourage other moms.
My cussing side comes out A LOT. I just usually censor myself when I’m writing! Glad you had a better day today!
I’ve sent The Daughters back out to the pool to settle it more times than I care to admit. Mine are old enough to lock the door when they go outside, so that’s helpful! 😉
Oh. One day..:
We also had a WWF day at our house. Each boy had a friend over to play (4 boys + 1 baby girl.) Oldest son decided to throw a chain saw (toy variety) at his brother during a game of war. Since there was blood streaming down son #2’s face onto the floor I made the responsible party clean up his brother’s blood. Son #1 had the nerve to complain that he had his brother’s DNA on him. It’s WWF & CSI around here.
Thankful the hubster works in the ER. Thankful we did not have to visit him at work today.
A CHAINSAW???? FOR. THE. LOVE. DAVIS!!!! School has to start soon. It HAS TO!!!!
I have been there and now enjoy watching those same little brats get payback with their own children.
Not funny Momma!
Last one for the giveaway. For today
What the heck is skip boo?
Skip BO it’s a card game that is SO. MUCH. FUN. Kind of like Uno, you can’t play with regular cards!
Grady Thrasher learned to hide clothes I was trying to fold, sort, and put up; help unload the dishwasher by breaking a glass on the floor I had just vacuumed; jump from the couch to the ottoman to the chair and back all in thirty minutes time. I was ready to give him away. I can say that I did take time to stop and prayed for you because I am in awe that you have THREE and I am thankful I have ONE!
I have a 7 yr old and a 4 month old (both girls) and I think I’m seriously going to stab myself in the face with something sharp before school starts back in a couple weeks. I have NEEEEE-VER in my life had to threaten my older daughter more than I have this summer. It’s like I have to start out the day with nearly beating her before she’ll listen. And God forbid, it’s been too stinkin’ hot out to do anything outside to let off a little penned up energy so she’s been on point 24/7. I love my children with every ounce of my being, but handling a newborn and a child who’s decided that NOW would be a wonderful time to “blossom” into her own individuality has it’s moments.I don’t want to give her a complex b/c I feel like all I do is yell at her about something completely stupid that I know she knows is a bad idea, but Jesus, some days I DON’T WANT TO GO PLAY IN YOUR ROOM, I really just wanna go take a hot bubble bath (ALONE) and take a nap. Maybe when I’m 70.
How am I just seeing your comment?? I feel I have failed you! Do you need an intervention?? Send her to boarding school! That’ll teacher!
Hell, send her to my house. I’m so crazy, she’ll be glad to get to come home! 😉