WARNING! THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED. IF YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT OR HAVE PROBLEMS WITH HUMAN ANATOMY…KEEP ON MOVIN’!
Today I went to eat lunch with The Hubs, which is a big deal because I haven’t really left the house in about a week, since I’ve been recovering from skurgery.
The topic of vasectomies came up at lunch and hubs related a few tales of friends who had gone under the knife and seen their entire lives flash before their eyes as they lay on the exam table. Then my dearly beloved actually said, out of his sweet little mouth, “Did you know you have to ice your *biznass* (word changed for those you with more delicate palettes) for SIX HOURS after surgery? CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?”
I actually choked on my indignation. I said, maybe a little too loudly, judging by the stares I received from neighboring tables,” Can I imagine?? Are you serious? I pushed THREE BABIES OUT OF MY VAGINA!! CAN I IMAGINE??? Did you really just say that to me? AND after I pushed those babies out, they handed them to me and said, ‘Here STICK YOUR NIPPLE IN HER MOUTH UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER STAND THE PAIN!’ Can I imagine??? Uh, YEAH! I think I have a little bit of an idea of what that might feel like. FOR. THE. LOVE. You people don’t deserve anesthesia.”
Know what? You're awesome! =) Dudes need reminding. Seriously. My husband was supposed to get a vasectomy in Aug. 2002. A month later, I found out I was pregnant. It's been 8 years and he's still putting it off, because he's scared of pain. LOL
Ah, men are just so clueless. Happy you set him straight.
Faboo, AHAHAHAHA!!! I mean, I GET that it's uncomfortable but SERIOUSLY, it's MINUSCULE compared to what we go through with pregnancy, labor, delivery and breastfeeding…GEEZ!
I think I just peed my pants.
You did not over react girlfriend! I am SO glad you posted this story!!! I laughed very loud
Eddie and I have had these conversations and every one we have goes something like that. His is an outpatient procedure and mine would be considered surgery! I have already been cut open twice (2 c-sections), breastfed, not to mention the 18 months I spent pregnant between my 2 kids. How dare he even hint at the idea that I should be the one to get that done! 
Jenny Richard
This is hilarious! I refused to get anything done on me…if I can have 4 kids and survive he was the one that had to be uncomfortable for once! So he did and for the record the anesthesia didn't work and my hubby felt all of it. Kinda felt bad for him then
Till I remember the labor and my anesthesia not working. Then I'm over it 😉
Wow, for. the. love. is correct. And, I haven't even pushed a baby out yet!!!
Oh no! Not 6 hours!!
Men are babies. That's all there is to it.
I love it. Seriously. "oohh, gotta ice my junk for six hours, waa." I used to work l&d and every time I slice open a diaper to fill with ice and slap on a wootenanny, I would think "why don't they put THIS in pregnancy books? Why come I never read about THIS anywhere else before?" And as long as I'm thanking my lucky stars that I had fabulous csections, let me tell you that one time a second year was on the stool, stitching up after a delivery, and it was taking FOREVER, until he finally pushed away, threw his hands in the air, and said "that's it, that's the best I can do!" OUT LOUD!!! With the mother CONSCIOUS and the father TWO FEET AWAY!!! Sorry dude, I know you used to be pretty familiar with it, but this here's the BEST I CAN DO. Good luck. What an idiot.
Said second year (now a big bad third year) walked into the OR when I was getting prepped with Warren. I just looked at him, didn't say a word, and he walked back out. Fricking right, turn around. Best I can do. Sheesh.
What was I talking about again?
Jennifer!!! LOL!! OH, I'm crying!