For the last week I have been planning for Emma’s 4th birthday. Last night, everyone else was in the bed and I was sitting in the kitchen with Aubrey as she finished her bedtime snack.
Me: You know…Emma’s birthday is in just a few days.
Aubrey: Yep. She’s gonna be FOUR! She’s almost as old as me!
(For 2 short months every year, the girls are “a year apart” and they always think Emma will eventually catch up with Aubrey. Bless their hearts.)
Me: I know! What do you think we should get her for her birthday?
Aubrey thoughtfully twirled a curl between her fingers for a moment before speaking.
Aubrey: Wellllll, we could get her, like, some toys that she could chew on because she always loves to chew on my dolls’ feet.
Me: (snickering) You want to get your sister CHEW TOYS for her birthday?
Aubrey nodded her head. “Yep, I think she’ll like it.”
I had my head so far up my ass at Auburn, I'm surprised I had any friends at all, let alone met and married my husband. Seriously, not sure what was going on back there. I went to the pool today, as a matter of fact. As I was feeding my kid applesauce (how healthy, right? GO ME!) this lady looked at me, looked at the NO FOOD OR DRINK sign (bear in mind, it is quite literally a hundred degrees here. Twenty four hours a day), then looked at her kid and said, loudly "No sweetie, you can't have a snack. You're NOT ALLOWED to eat in here."
Commence (is that a word?) her kid throwing a fit.
Uh, lady? Don't bring your kid to a pool without snacks. Is this your first day?
So I coulda used ya at my back there:)
Oh yeah, that reminds me, I'm on a google hunt for kmart brand diapers because I was there yesterday (world's largest kmart!!! and a tube of toothpaste is only SEVEN DOLLARS!) and I swear to God, one of your kids is on the box of diapers! Did they model? I also took a pic of one of your kids (swear to GOD!!!) at the pool one day, but by then her hair had gotten wet and flat and she didn't look like one of ya'll anymore.
So there's that.
And I think we'd be great friends now, by the way. I'm way cooler than I used to be. Just ask me!
Chew toys, bahahahaha