I’ve decided to start a new housekeeping trend…still working on a name for it, maybe…Sweep-A-Meal-Later.
See here’s my problem- after my kids eat one meal it is impossible, impossible, to sweep the food up off the floor. For dinner tonight we had grilled chicken, broccoli and rice and all the little spilled and far-flung tidbits just balled up and got stuck to my socks, but did NOT end up where I wanted them…in the dust pan.
After much research (read: slackassery) I have discovered the same is true for Cheerios. Wet Cheerios simply refuse to be swept or vacuumed up, and I’m not bending over a bazillion times a day to get all those little pieces. For several reasons:
1) If I wanted to bend over I would go to the gym,
2) When I DO go to the gym the backs of my legs are sore and I DON’T want to bend over and pick up all that crap
3) I’m pretty sure I would eventually black out from the sudden and extreme changes in my blood pressure…it’s a health risk, y’all. AND
4) Why should I worry about it when I can simply Sweep-A-Meal-Later and vacuum them up in 5 seconds flat with my handy-dandy cordless vacuum, like it’s my job? (I mean, I get that it IS “my job”, but you feel me right?)
All that to say this, if you come to my house in the morning and there is still rice and broccoli on my floor, or you come by at lunch time and there are Cheerios plastered about, it isn’t mere slackassery you are witnessing, my friends.
No.
It’s a genius with a plan.
PS Sadie published this post before I had finished it, so if you read it and broccoli was misspelled or whatever, Sadie says, “Oops, sorry.”
You ARE a genius. And after this post, my hero.
Thanks wifey!
Too funny and so true. Emily must have learned this trick from you.
This is my favorite of all your posts, because I so feel what you are saying even though sometimes it may be some slacking on my part.
To me, this is a no-brainer. You need a Golden Retriever to gobble up all those pesky crumbs. You can name him Dyson.
I have one word for you…DOG! I seldom sweep the kitchen.
I think Betsy and Gena are on to something with the dog, but who is going to pick up poop, take Dyson to the vet, etc? Me. It makes me tired just thinking about it. But Betsy, IF Zeb would swear on his life that he would take care of said dog, I would have one IN A MINUTE and his name WOULD be Dyson!!!
My vote is for Dyson the dog too!
and if you have a fenced in yard you don't necessarily HAVE to pick up poop!
OK, so I am officially starting the Dyson the Dog fan club. Adopt a 2yr. old dog from a rescue that is already trained and make sure the hubby is always on Pooper Scooper Duty. Mutts are very healthy dogs and only go to the vet once a year.
I vote for Dyson too! I think your kids really need a dog to play with.
Well if you just leave it long enough Im sure one of the kids will come back for it when they need a snack