So I got dressed all cute this morning and put all my makeup and jewelry on, and finished packing my bags for New York. While I was getting ready Aubrey came in to help me and asked if she could have some of “your-scara“, also known as, “my-scara.” I coated her long blond lashes and even blessed her with some lip gloss since I was getting ready to leave.
I wanted to look really cute just in case somebody recognized me…from, um…preschool or something. Which doesn’t really make any sense because if I wanted to be recognized then I shouldn’t have washed my hair, put on makeup or a dress. But I digress, I was excited about my trip and wanted to look very writerly in case someone wanted to ask me WHY in the world I was going to New York City.
I was feeling quite sassy and cute in my brown dress, with real jewelry and my new leopard print ballet flats, when Aubrey up and decided to break every rule I had ever made. I was trying to put her in time out, answer my mother’s question about household things, kiss Emma, hold my baby and keep from flashing my underwear to my sweet neighbor who had volunteered to take my husband and I to the airport.
I was trying to discipline Aubrey so I wouldn’t leave the house with her acting like a wild woman, but also didn’t want to discipline her and leave for four days with her hysterical. Emma was sitting at the computer playing Dora the Explorer and minding her own business, while Aubrey’s “my-scara” ran all over her face a la Tammy Faye Baker.
I finally got it all together- I had consoled Aubrey, kissed Emma, snuggled Sadie and all of my bags, including my manuscript and my laptop were in the car. I had time for a quick potty break before we left for the airport. I went to my bathroom to find that someone (read: Emma) had put an entire roll of toilet paper in my toilet.
I grabbed a plastic grocery bag and fished it out of the potty. I left for the airport with a full bladder and feeling much more like the preschool mommy I really am, than the writerly person I had dressed up to be!
