The Baby Bjorn can be a lifesaver, it allows a mother to “hold” her baby hands free. It’s great for a variety of purposes, cooking dinner, trips to park when you have other children to wrangle, or any occasion that you have to tote a little one around but also need full range of motion with your hands.
That said, it is NOT figure friendly. The bottom strap wraps around right at the top of your postpartum bulge. (FINE, MY post-partum bulge.) The “baby bump” isn’t nearly as cute when you are no longer pregnant, and as much as I need to have my hands free, I cannot bring myself to strap on the Baby Bjorn. My self confidence takes a dive every time I even think about it.
In a flash of brilliance, I have decided that Baby Bjorn needs to team up with SPANX and make a girdle/baby carrier combo. (My apologies to anyone who thinks that SPANX is anything BUT a girdle.If you are not familiar, SPANX are “body shapers” that start at your knees and end at your bra strap.) They are also made to allow you to use the restroom without having to take them off. Trust me on this. If I could buy something that not only sucked, slimmed and smoothed, but allowed me to hold my kid hands free, WHILE I was peeing, you could NAME your price. Seriously.
I would HOWEVER like to ask the people at SPANX to attach the REAL version to the Baby Bjorn and not the cheap ripoffs they sell at Target that have SPANX stamped all over them. Before I had kids, I bought the REAL SPANX, the expensive ones you can only buy in department stores. After two kids and realizing the expenses of a family, I jumped at the chance to save a buck and buy them at Target.
I wore my newer, cheaper and somewhat larger SPANX for the first time to a friend’s lingerie shower. I ran for a potty break right before she started opening presents, I didn’t want to miss a thing. I unzipped my jeans, and sat down to use the restroom and suddenly felt a warm flood all over my backside and thighs. APPARENTLY, the Target SPANX were such a deal because they were NOT conveniently equipped to let you use the bathroom without removing them. Would it REALLY have hurt them to put a disclaimer on the box?
So, here is my proposal Baby Bjorn and SPANX….you can thank me after you’ve made millions of dollars off of MY new and innovative idea.
[…] stood in the dressing room in nothing but my SPANX and nursing bra, and waited for Zeb to purchase my date night ensemble. As I waited, I was hopeful […]