Oh, how I hesitate to talk about this….I love my kids, but you might not. Let me start by saying that Emma(2) is THE most mischievous child I have ever met. The kid can make messes in 30 seconds that take me 2 to 3 hours to clean up. If she is missing for more than 60 seconds, I can guarantee she is doing something she is not supposed to. That being said, potty training with her has been QUITE the adventure.
Last week she came to me and told me she had “poo-pooed in Baby Sadie’s room”, and sure enough, there were 2 not so little surprises waiting for me. Complete with a trail of toilet paper from the bathroom all the way to Sadie’s room. Lovely, right?
But it gets worse. About 3 months ago, when I was so pregnant I was about to pop, Emma came crawling into the bed with Zeb and I in the middle of the night. Normally, unless you are truly hysterical, you go back to your own bed. But I was too pregnant to pick her up and carry her to her room and she was being really still and quiet. So we snuggled. I was laying on my left side and she nestled up against me, I’m kissing her little cheeks and she says ” ‘cratch my arms, Momma,” and of course I do. About this time I notice a smell. Not a poop smell. A strep throat smell, you moms and nurses out there know EGG-ZACTLY what I’m talking about…I thought to myself, “Poor baby, her throat probably hurts so bad she couldn’t sleep. We’ll have to go to the doctor first thing in the morning.” As I’m feeling sorry for her and scratching her tiny little arms, she opens her fist and puts something in my hand. Something small. Something round. Something slightly sticky. The scream that issued forth from my lips could have gotten me a speaking part in any horror movie. Zeb sits straight up in bed, looking for an armed intruder, I am in shock, totally grossed out…my bed has been violated. After a 3 AM bath for Emma, some VIGOROUS hand washing on my part and a quick sheet change we all got back into bed.
So you would think that after all this, I would be prepared. I couldn’t possibly be shocked or disgusted any further. You would be wrong.
Yesterday, I am cleaning the kitchen and Emma comes in and says “Momma, I poo-pooed in the sink.” *Blank stare* Excuse me, what? “What did you say Emma?” “I poo-poo in the sink Momma.” No, no, no, no, no. She didn’t. She wouldn’t. Why would she take her pants off IN THE BATHROOM and NOT go in the potty? She’s making—–“MOMMA, EMMA WENT POO POO IN THE SINK!” Aubrey(4) screams. She did. I go to the bathroom to find poop in the sink, where they wash their hands and brush their teeth. Gross. GROSS! GROSS! (I’m an ER nurse, trust me when I say I have seen some sick and disgusting things in my life, but this had me gagging…) Emma was IMMEDIATELY disciplined and sent to time out. And while I’m scrubbing every surface of the bathroom with bleach and trying to figure out what I could possibly have done to deserve this, Emma is singing the blues from time out….”I’m sorry Momma, I ready be nice now. I not poo-poo in the sink anymore.” I’m afraid to even guess where she’ll go instead!
I shouldn’t read this at work… I’m howling laughing with tears in my eyes! Your sweet (and naughty) girls crack me up. Never, never, never a dull moment at your house. I’m nominating you the best mommy blogger ever. You should have a show on TLC
Robin,
I LOVE your blog!! Whenever I really need to get out of myself, I know I can log on and my whole perspective changes!! Thanks, and I hope you write a book some day.
Thanks SueSue! I’m working on one now, I’ve already been rejected by 3 different agents! Only 774 more to go! PLEASE forward the link to your friends! I appreciate your support!
Going to the bathroom everywhere is a bit serious, right? Not funny? I’m SURE they love your reactions and watching you scrub for hours, taking time out of your day to take care of their antics- so of course they keep doing it. I can’t believe someone who spanks doesn’t spank over a kid putting a turd in their hand. And I can’t believe you haven’t found a way to teach them not to do that. There is no excuse for a child to repeat that kind of behavior and there is no excuse for the adults (Christians?!) who think this kind of thing is funny. When did children acting worse than dogs become something parents are unwilling to give serious attention and constant discipline? I truly mean not to be harsh, I really enjoy your blog, but I feel this is something that needs to be said to you and your readers as it is a sad situation when children run the lives of the adults in the family, potty related or not. I hope you take this in good will. And yes, I have children. 5 of them.
Michelle, I do take these issues seriously. This blog is devoted to finding the HUMOR in everyday situations we find ourselves in. I DO NOT laugh about these incidents in front of my children. I discipline them, with love, the way I see fit. And try to keep my chin up while cleaning up their messes. Although I wrote about these incidents in ONE blog, they actually happened over a span of several months, WHILE we were potty training. I am a Christian and very proud of that. I would be very careful before I questioned someone else’s faith, that job belongs to God alone. My children are not running my life, I assure you. And I think when we have potty accidents, it would be wise to clean and up. And by the by, my “readers” were much more upset with you comparing my sweet children to dogs, than they have been to anything I have posted. Sorry that I offended you.
I think Robin said it best in the intro to her blog…”Go ahead, feel superior.” Michelle obviously took that sentiment to heart.
Very well said, ROBIN! Potty training is a dirty mess and all you can do is laugh about it once it’s over with! It is sad that Michelle has to be so mean! And I am offended that she would compare your precious girls to dogs! Unbelievable!
WHAT is wrong with Michelle? Haven’t her FIVE kids ever had potty accidents? My nieces are NOT WORSE THAN DOGS!!!!!!!
Ditto. I can't imagine questioning the child-rearing abilities of someone whom:
a)I didn't know
b)clearly has nothing but love for her kids
c)can find the HUMOR in most situations
d)loves Jesus & is teaching her kids to love Him too.
Hope you don't let one ugly comment ruin your day or stop your hilarious, light-hearted daily updates. I think you should compile those puppies and write a book!
As a mother to a 4 year old girl and an 18 month old boy, who is ready to start potty training, I appreciate all too well someone actually writing down the kids mistakes and their response. Being able to laugh after the fact is just what parents do…we do that to keep from going crazy!! Michelle, I think most of the people who have made comments are CLOSE FRIENDS of Robin. Just some advise…once you’ve written it, you can never take it back…might want to check up on your comments!
Wow! I can’t imagine questioning someone else’s parenting or their faith in Christ when all I knew of them was their blog. Michelle is pretty brazen and has taken quite a bit upon herself in the way of assumptions. Thankfully, the rest of us seem to know that you’re looking for the humor in everyday behavior. You might as well laugh (once you’ve disciplined of course!). Comparing someone else’s children to dogs? Really? If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Rest assured your unsolicited advice won’t change another’s parenting tactics…
Please know that I am terribly sorry for offending or angering anyone. I must say that I never meant to cause such an upset, and I admit that I was very assuming. I do believe I was misread. I would NEVER question ANYONE’S religious beliefs, especially a fellow believer. Using the word Christian I was meaning to refer to what the Bible says in regards to disciplining children-meaning to do it:) but I was being very assuming there and I am terribly sorry. I was not calling your adorable girls dogs, but we all know children (even my own imperfect children) can have some pretty “primitive” ACTIONS, not meaning they are animals but they are acting pretty crappy. My concern and reason for the comment was in a reaction to so many undisciplined children around, and I was blind in hearing only Robin’s adult funny side. Silly of me to assume, but it would be nice to see the other side as well, the disciplilne side, I’m sure it would be nice for many mothers in the way of giving ideas or setting an example of what works and doesn’t? Forgive me please, and know that this is the internet for all the world to see and ideas to be exchanged, I hope we can use this to learn many lessons. I have learned not to blog comment in the middle of my Mama drama breakdowns:) Thank you all for calling me out. I enjoy the blog and will continue to read, being thankful we are all so different in our mothering but connected by these little ones.
Peace to you and please forgive- Michelle from Nashville
Wow !!!!!!!
I REALLY would like to meet Michelle.
Sounds like her 5 kids went straight from diapers/pampers to sitting on the potty…..with NO ACCIDENTS in between . What a miracle worker.
Where is your web page Michelle so you can tell the rest of us how someoen so perfect does it ?
Robin….you are great…dont change a thing about the column or the way you raise your kids.
OK – I CANNOT keep quiet! Poor Michelle needs to do some SERIOUS introspection!! My prayers are with her 5 kids being raised by a mother with such a self-righteous, judgemental, downright vindictive attitude. She obviously has unresolved issues – maybe a little suppressed resentment. We don’t all have to agree on methods of childrearing, we do all have to accept and respect others’ opinions/decisions about their OWN children! Having spent time with Robin, her husband, and her girls, I assure anyone that complete faith in her abilities and judgements is valid. Robin, keep up the good work!!
I would also like to take one last defense in my family saying we are not perfect. I never claimed to be, nor for my children to be. We all have problems- the 7 of us as well- the kind you see and the kind you don’t. I have not the time or talent to produce a nice blog-Robin, although I do not know her, seems like an awesome mother. Wow, I truly apologize.
Ephesians 4:32
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
Poor Michelle…we all speak a bit too soon sometimes. Let’s give her a break. But the next one of you that compares my sister’s babies to ANY animal (unless it’s something sweet like a bunny) will pay!
I feel that Michelle truly is sorry- and cannot believe the rage that your followers have! Everyday your blog is the first thing that I pull up, as a constant reminder that it is hard and funny to be a mother. If I could not laugh at the things that go on everyday I would collapse! Thank you for your wonderful stories and finding humor in your beautiful, sweet babies!
Michelle,
If anybody has something else we could discuss in an open forum, let me know. I’ll post a subject and we can all just go to town. Michelle, please know that you are welcome here and most of the people who commented love me and my kids a WHOLE lot!
I certainly understand where you are coming from, and hope you will continue to read and enjoy the blog. Most of my friends could tell you that I am a firm disciplinarian, but that’s just not as funny or fun to talk about. There are extenuating circumstances to some of my kids high-jinks. For example, the prize in the bed came when my barely 2 yr old was extremely constipated and I was about to give birth. And a lot of her other potty antics came after the birth of my 3rd child and MANY children regress when a new baby enters the home. But again, I am here to document for my family and entertain for my friends. I certainly have NO hard feelings against you and think it’s time we all move on to talk about something else! There is enough real drama in the world without us focusing on something this silly!!
Robin
Well, with what’s going on in Washington we should have plenty to talk about!
Kudos to Michelle for apologizing.. Our emotions can get the best of us sometimes! It is things like this that make each of us stronger.. Robin, you are so sweet and a great mom.. I love reading your blog.. I tell my dad about it all the time and we are constantly cracking up (at your expense.. sorry) ha.. love to you guys!
Awww…I think Michelle is truly sorry….let’s move on….keep up the good work Robin!!
Aw, Michelle. If anyone understands Mama breakdowns, it’s this group! I would love to here everyone’s tips on
#1. How to react when your kids are fighting over something and want you to be the mediator.
#2. Tips on dispelling sibling rivalry, or an older sister who wishes her little brother did not exist!
I agree, things in Washington are whack. With what’s going on up there, tea parties and taxes, it’s not wonder people are wound so tightly…
Robin!!!!! I love this blog!!! I am laughing soo hard. I love your kids!!!
Yea, writing about discipline is boring! LOL!