Zeb had to work on Saturday a few weeks back. Because he is the most awesome husband alive, (or possibly because he feared for his safety and the safety of his children) he stayed home until around 8:30 so I could sleep late. (Yes, people without children– 8:30 is late.)
I got up, got my coffee, checked my email, updated my Facebook status…all of the important things you do first thing in the morning. My four-year-old, Aubrey, walked over and asked, “Momma, will you make me pancakes?”
“Yes baby. Give me just a second to finish up here.”
“But Momma, there’s only one effin’ egg….”
I still wasn’t really awake. (In case you don’t know me, I prefer not to speak OR be spoken to until about 11:30am, but I have 3 kids under 4, nobody really cares what I think.) I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly….
“WHAT did you say?”
“THERE is only ONE EFFIN EGG!” She was definitely screaming at me.
This could not be. Where would she have heard such language?
“Aubrey, what did you say?”
She began shaking both of her fists in the air, and screamed at the top of her lungs, “DADDY WAS GOING TO MAKE PANCAKES THIS MORNING, BUT THERE WAS ONLY ONE EFFIN EGG!”
Nice.
I called my husband, Zeb, at work and said, “So I heard you were going to make pancakes but there was only one effin egg.”
“Well.. there was only one effin egg.”
Fabulous.
*Disclaimer- She did say “effin” and not the actual “f-bomb.” It’s my silver lining.
About two days later Aubrey walked into the kitchen while I was washing dishes and looked me square in the eye and said, “Skid mark.”
It was my turn to scream… “ZEB!”
I am SO glad you have started a blog! I laughed the ENTIRE way through this one!!! At least Zeb didn’t ACTUALLY say the f-bomb. His response had me laughing too…he knew exactly what rubbed off and on who! haha. Sooo stinking funny!!
I’m just glad she hasn’t said it at school…yet.
Sometimes when I am at work I pull this story up and read it just to laugh. No matter how many times that I have read it I still spit diet coke out of my mouth!
we loved that!!!!Chad laughed out loud tell Zeb
I did the same thing when I was three or four. I said, “I don’t want this effin spaghetti!” My mom asked where I had heard that word, and I replied, “at school…from Brad Keeton!” Ha!
MB Barber
This is probably my favorite one and this is the story I most often repeat. I love your blog and it lifts my spirits every time I visit. In a couple of weeks we will be coming home from Ukraine with two more children for a total of five. I am going to need to laugh a little in the next few years! Keep up the good work! Good luck with the book!
This is one of my favorites too!
This is still my absoulute FAVORITE!! I love your kids!
LOVE IT! Belly laughing!
See, and we really can't punish them for "effin"
CONUNDRUM!
(so cute and funny)
Absolutely hilarious!
I think this is my favorite post eva!